Behind the Paddle
Welcome to "Behind the Paddle", the podcast that explores the fascinating world of sex across a wide spectrum of topics; from LGBTQ+ and feminine power, to kink, sex work and the adult industry. We aim to inform, inspire and entertain, featuring expert interviews, compelling stories, and thought provoking discussions.
Join Porcelain Victoria (a very experienced Pro-Dominatrix of 9yrs) on a funny and wonderfully truthful look at the world through the lens of a BDSM practitioner working in the sex industry.
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Behind the Paddle
E10: Fetfest, Swingathon and Only Fest
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On this week's episode we discuss our recent trip to Fetfest, swingathon and onlyfest as well as the feedback and comments we received from other attendees through our questionnaire! We dive into the highs and lows of each festival, offering perspectives from attending the festival as both a customer and a trader. Join us as we share the roller coaster experience of our journey.
Confidance & Guidance workshop
7th November 2pm UK time
https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083
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Thank you so much for listening 💖
Hi, welcome to Behind the Paddle. I am Porcelain Victoria. And I am Emily Sin. Yeah, and today we are going to talk about Fetfest, Swing of Fun, and OnlyFest. We're gonna have a lovely, wonderful discussion about this. Yeah.
Speaker 02Um it was last weekend? Is it was it only last weekend? No, it was the weekend before. Yeah, we've got lost a week. Week of recovery. Um yeah, so we both went along yourself as a customer. A weird word to use, but yeah.
Speaker 01Yeah, that's the only word I can think of.
Speaker 02It's just I was a customer, um, and myself as a trader. I had to stall there. Yeah.
Speaker 01My first festival. So excited. So I'm gonna share my views. Um, going to Fatfest as a customer because I I only really went because of Fatfest. I'm not a swinger. I I I used to live that lifestyle a wee bit, but I am not anymore, really. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't tickle my fancy.
Speaker 02So you weren't there for like the content creation.
Speaker 01No, no, fuck that. I I I need to get into content creating, but it's so much effort, and it's talking to other people, and oh no, no, there's so much that goes on with content creation.
Speaker 02Yeah, we did have a wee wander through there a few times, so oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 01We we we did the lovely wet t-shirt competition, yeah.
Speaker 02That was great. That was good fun. You like dragged me along, but of course you won.
Speaker 01So you you you literally were like, oh, I like I don't know if to do it or not, and I was like, fucking, let's go, let's go, let's do it. We don't need to be drunk, we can do this.
Speaker 02Um and you can see the winning picture of yourself on Insta, which is obviously covered, or um the X-rated version is gonna be on our dark fans if anybody wants to check that out as well.
Speaker 01There's a good few X-rated, I think. Because I ended up taking my top off. Of course. So I I think I got a picture of that one. They were just like if you want to like not get extra points, but like be really convincing and whatnot, take your top off, and I was like, fuck it, this is what you want. That was in the final, but no, my my experience as a customer. Um it was it was okay. I I expected more. Um I think because we came all the way down from Scotland.
Speaker 02Yeah, we kind of had high hopes before we'd even got there because it was quite a drive to get there.
Speaker 01Yeah, a good six hours.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01Uh and yeah, yeah, we got there. It was okay. The the weather, what was the weather like on the street?
Speaker 02It was so warm, it was so hot. Even on the first day, I think it was like 24 degrees.
Speaker 01Oh god.
Speaker 02So yeah, it was it was a very hot and sweaty weekend. Hence us going the wet t-shirt contest pretty much to cool down at that point because it was like 30 degrees that day.
Speaker 01Oh, my hair dried so quickly. Yeah, um, yeah, things just to point out was which which swing of fun uh did say did make a statement about on their Twitter was just about security and things.
Speaker 02Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 01That that defin definitely is something we could improve because I didn't get ID'd. Yeah, it was just who I was with who got ID'd and then for the rest of the time we did not get wristbands or anything like that.
Speaker 02So I think you guys had arrived quite late on the Friday night, wasn't it? It was like can I was it like six, seven o'clock you guys had got there?
Speaker 01Seven?
Speaker 02Seven.
Speaker 01But seven, eight o'clock.
Speaker 02So not like too late, but like it wasn't like when the doors opened that you guys had arrived, kind of thing. So like there still should have been security there a million percent.
Speaker 01But oh yeah, like not all all not necessarily all the time people weren't really at the posts and things like that. But nobody really went round checking wristbands and never got told once about it.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01Um, but again, Swing of Fun have made that statement about that security needs to be better and things like that.
Speaker 02It's good that like quite a lot of the things that um we feel could have been better, they have actually already out stuff on and can I addressed and that and look and it'll make changes for next year, which is all you can ask really. Yeah. Um, like I can imagine organising something that big, there's like a lot of to do. Yes. And as we were told, like the first day, the person who was like kind of hosting the Fetfest site had an emergency or something and hadn't actually shown up. So like I think a lot of things all fell on the one person, which like for something as big as it was, the guy was running about absolute mad. So like you can as much as it it was quite disappointing for us, I would say. I would say I can understand why things did end up the way that they did to an extent, like I feel like things could have been dealt with better, but absolutely you've kind of got to work with the resources at hand and stuff.
Speaker 01Yeah, yeah. I I think again fair and swing of thought, the organizers have agreed they just shouldn't really depend on people, really, as much.
Speaker 02Aye, it sounds like a lot of people let them done, and a lot of companies and stuff let them done, which again isn't there really something you can blame them for at the end of the day, like if it's something that they're addressing and making an effort to change in the future, hopefully change in the future, yeah.
Speaker 01Um yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02For some of the things, anyway, I would say, like the stuff that was more to do with like the the kind of contracts that have been put out, like like the security for an example, there was other things that were kind of in-house stuff that I feel should have been dealt with better.
Speaker 01Yeah, I I think when it comes to relying on people, uh I I believe they from what I saw they relied on people for the Fet Fest quite a lot. Yeah. And what I said to you about if they are not getting paid and they're just doing out of the goodness of their hearts and whatnot, it might not happen.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01And a lot of things didn't happen.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01I I think mainly money is a good reason of why possibly things didn't happen.
Speaker 02Um we can only assume, do you know, just like as you're saying from speaking to people, a lot of the people that were hosts um were volunteering.
Speaker 03Yeah.
Speaker 02Which it's not to say that that's not valuable and not like something that can work, but I think that plus just a couple of wee things going wrong and people not having some day eternity kind of is what led to things kind of going the way that they did. From math perspective, anyway.
Speaker 01Th there just was not that much organisation, sadly, in the Fetfest side, which they have addressed, and for next year they're just gonna go back to having a wee corner.
Speaker 02Yeah, so what was not said is like Swingathon's been running for four years and um Fetfest or there has always been a fetish aspect to that within the festival, but this year was the first year that they've actually separated the two into two festivals, and when it's in new, there's gonna be teeth and problems, but and I think it's quite telling that like as of next year it's gonna move back to being the way that they're used to and the way that they like has gone well in the past, um which to me, like I think It's a good thing. Yeah, it's a shame that things uh didn't go the way that they had planned because if they did they'd be doing it next year. Do you know what I mean? Clearly things have went in a way that they're not happy with, and they're making moves to change that, which like with the organisation and things, the things that were scheduled to happen were either delayed or they didn't happen. Yeah, like there was a full itinerary had come out for like the Thursday Friday, and I think there was like a couple of things on in the Thursday. Obviously, I was trading, so during the day I was at my post, like I didn't necessarily see all that was going on, but I couldn't hear a lot of what was going on. Um and I was assuming if there was gonna be like music and acts and stuff on that I would be able to hear it from where I was on that side. But um once you guys had arrived, there wasn't really anything on the Thursday night for us to go.
Speaker 01Like there was things on like the swing side, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 02We were just talking about on the FEFS side, just barely anything on the FESI.
Speaker 01That that's like I only came for the FET side um as a customer, so yeah.
Speaker 02And obviously us as traders, like there was traders also on the the swingers side as well, and I think we made like three sales over the first two days, um, which wasn't great. Like obviously we had plans for like more than that, like to actually cover at least the cost of us going, um, which hasn't ended up happening, like we have made a loss from going over the weekends, which isn't the ideal, obviously. I'm pretty disappointed, like we from what I thought it was gonna be to what has ended up like us, yeah, yeah. I've been lit down, I feel.
Speaker 01Absolutely, I I I do feel that Dan is a customer as well, because again, I just went for the fit side, there was meant to be an artillery of um things that were scheduled to get done and things like that, and it it just wasn't it, sadly. Yeah, which is very, very understandable why they've reverted back to what they've yeah, they did in the past.
Speaker 02Because it looked like the swingathon side went amazing, and obviously Oh, I wish I was a swinger and everything like that. I think that was what was making it really hit home for us was like sitting in our wee like gazebo without just like watching everybody have fun over the other side, which like great for them again. Like they put on a good festival. I just wish that it had been a wee bit more balanced between both sides of it rather than yeah.
Speaker 01I agree. Um there was a raffle, yeah, and we heard the first part of the raffle, which I think was on the Friday, but I don't remember it getting done on like the Saturday, but that again is a part of the Fetfest was properly separate, yeah.
Speaker 02Like a lot of people when they were coming over were saying to us, like, Oh, we didn't know this was here, we thought this was a closed-off area, and to be fair, like once that it took a couple days, but it did get brought to um like some of the hosts and organisers' attentions, and things did get done about it on the Saturday, and things did pick up. Um, and like we did have a much better day on the Saturday.
Speaker 01But yeah, that was lovely for you guys to see.
Speaker 02Yeah, unfortunately, I was in my bed all day with a migraine, so Jason didn't always and he was like he was doing great. I heard it was goods from lying in a tent ill, which is great. I think the heat just totally got to me and it was so warm on the Friday, it just totally done me in. So um what I heard was goods. Um what was I gonna say? I just wish it had been like that the full weekend. Yeah, yeah, of course. Like we got a wee glimpse of like the possibility of what things like could have been like had things been managed the way that things eventually did get managed. Yeah, yeah. Um and obviously a lot of traders and stuff all put in the work like to go over and like get people involved and tell like someone put on like a Fetfest sign and was like walking about with their titsuit, like trying to get some interest, and like it was quite nice. It was nice that everybody kind of pulled together and like tried to make things work and make things better with the resources at hand. Yet again, I feel like that was kind of the running theme for us over the weekend.
Speaker 01It was nice mate, making friends, yeah, totally being like fuck, we need to make this into a really good festival for our side, yeah. And all the traders and the people who enjoyed the fet part just came together when it was.
Speaker 02Yeah, totally, totally, and like um like I wouldn't change that, do you know what I mean? I've like thoroughly enjoyed like making the there was quite a few other Scottish traders there as well, yeah. Um, which was was like interesting. I was not expecting to see so many people so far from home, but it was really nice at the same time, and I feel like I've got to know people a lot better that like I've kind of seen out and about and like spoke to a few times but not had like proper one-on-one conversations with, and I feel like that's gonna be like lasting relationships going forward, so yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 01That was good. Um what else was there?
Speaker 02Aye, I think just saying like OnlyFest was run by hob events, um, and this was I think the only type of festival like this in the UK as it stands at the moment, yeah, as it stands, um which was just for content creators during the day because people were filming and stuff, so um that was actually did have security on the door, or at least had someone there checking wristbands because there was like a specific wristband you had to get to be able to go in there during the day.
Speaker 01Yeah, during the day, yeah, yeah. And then it was.
Speaker 02That was I think that was at like six o'clock. That was wild because it was still boiling.
Speaker 01But it was after Yeah, again, it was one of those things that was meant to be on at three, and then it got later and later, and it was went on at six. Yeah. Something like that. Uh-huh. So there again, there was just scheduling was a bit all over the place.
Speaker 02But which is just that's what happens. Do you know what I mean? First event, so uh um the time that we spent in there, like I thoroughly enjoyed, like I had a good time.
Speaker 01Oh, it was lovely. The people were out there.
Speaker 02They had the paddling pool that I got to sit in in my like sunstroke state. It was great. I was just like, I'm gonna lie here forever.
Speaker 01It was very nice. Um yeah, and then we we bothered everybody with our um business cards. We went round everybody every s stall, yeah, and we were just like it was quite yeah, we we we have a podcast, and there was a few podcast people there as well.
Speaker 02Yeah, there was quite a few. I think a couple of them have filled in our uh questionnaire as well, so like circle runs, but um I think the only other thing that I wanted to really mention was the band on the Saturday night at the Fetfest side. That was so good that it's like that made me happy. Yeah, they're called Problem Child, if you want to look them up, they were absolutely amazing. Um they were like a cover band, it was class. Everybody was over, they'd done like a UV um party? I don't know what to call it. They had like UV lights up and everybody knew about it. Solid people were in like UV stuff. Um I went and got my big UV Alice Wonderland Tapestry, so it's just nice, um, and we all just had a jump about, and it was like it was a really nice end to it, I think, for us. Yeah, it certainly was.
Speaker 01That was the fucking highlight for me of the whole festival. Yeah, I really enjoyed Prev and Child, it was good.
Speaker 02Aye, it was definitely the busiest that Urshide was, like the full weekends.
Speaker 01Well, we had entertainment, yeah. So yeah, we were we I think everybody was surprised at how many people actually came over to the fet side, and it was nice, it was lovely.
Speaker 02I think they didn't have anything on at the Swing of Loneside while that was happening. As far as I'm aware. They might have, but I don't it wasn't like a it wasn't like loud music, we couldn't hear it. We couldn't hear it anyway, to be fair.
Speaker 01It didn't matter at that point because the band was that good, yeah, that whatever was going on on that side it it still drew people into the fet side, thankfully. Yeah. It was nice actually seeing people.
Speaker 02Yeah, it was just a shame we were all closed up by that point. Yeah, but it was dark anyway, so it's just one of their things.
Speaker 01It's just one of the things. We we did uh try to f finesse our whip technique.
Speaker 02Oh yeah, yeah. I've still big bruise on my freaking leg. Yeah, I managed not to hit myself somehow. Jason nearly took his eyes out at that one point. That was when that guy came out and like stepped in, which like fairer was probably for the best at that point. But oh god, yeah, we made our own fun. We made our own fun. Like I still had a good time when I wasn't in my beds, L. But yeah.
Speaker 01It was alright. It for me personally, it wasn't really worth the journey to do because I feel like I could just go to a play party here in Scotland or whatnot. Um yeah, it was fun. We we made it fun, yeah. People made it fun, which is nice. But yeah, we handed out business cards, and they had a lovely wee little questionnaire about the event, and yeah, so some of the answers were really good. Yeah.
Speaker 02So um just want to put a wee thanks out to everybody who contributed, um, and we had uh it could be anonymous or not, so uh we listed the people that didn't want to be anonymous are Baker Medic, Paul Jason, Jack from Unholy Carpentry, Jay, Essex Baddy, Heading in Hell, and Hades X Machina, as well as all the anonymous responses that we got. We got so our plan was to kind of go through them all and just kind of read them out. Because the way that it was like structured. So um the plan, we have so many, we're just gonna do some highlights and we're gonna put a list of all the responses up in full on uh both our blogs on sanctuaryofsin.com and then porcelaindolly.co.uk if anybody's interested and wants to go and read. And obviously the ones that are anonymous, we will still keep anonymous, we'll just put in the information. Uh I shall make a table, maybe leave it with me and see if I can make this like nice, but cool. Um, so on to the responses. What one do you want to do first?
Speaker 01Oh, should we go from the top?
Speaker 02Yeah, sure. Which was what festival you're at? What festival were you at? And how have you found it? Are we wanting to just do all of these or will we just do that was the one I didn't highlight before this, sorry. I also forgot my iPad before, so I'm trying to do this on my phone, which is great. Cool, so um our first response was they were at swing-a-thone only um and we asked how have you found the festival and they'd said average, which I thought was I don't know why I feel like you're proper hit with the truthfulness right now.
Speaker 01You just got a full force in.
Speaker 02I feel like from what we've seen, that feels a bit a shame. But obviously, we kind of speak for this person's experience. Like, don't know what they got up to at the weekends.
Speaker 01Um Well, was that on the Swingathon side?
Speaker 02Yeah, so they had they had said they were just there for Swingathon. Um go, we had a couple we had two that had been to like came for all of the festivals that just said amazing, which is great. Um we had one for OnlyFest and Swingathon where they said I loved it, it felt like freedom, it was nice connecting with people, which is really nice. Absolutely.
Speaker 01I mean I mean when you're uh when you said it, but it was freedom, all I could think about was just running naked through a field. It's a very free. I mean it did have that vibe to be fair.
Speaker 02It was so nice. The few times we were over because there was only food vendors on the swing-a-thon side. Yes, there was only food vendors and drinks on We did have a bar, it just wasn't open the full time, which I totally get because it was near that busy for them. Like I get I think it was the same people that were running a bar on both sides, so I think they brought more of their staff just over to the swing-a-thon side.
Speaker 01Yeah, that was on the Saturday though, I think. Was it on the Saturday? I think it was the fo it wasn't open. Exactly.
Speaker 02Oh, you're saying it was only open on the Saturday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I believe so. Uh-huh.
Speaker 01Um, which again is just with the organisation and things like that, with Fetfest being so bare basically. Because the food, as you said, the food and drink were on the other side on the Slingafun side.
Speaker 02Um it did give us an excuse to go we wonder though, and do some like people watching and some sites seeing some sights over the weekends. It was very interesting.
Speaker 01Yeah, yeah. I I mean I I l I I I swingers are alright, they're not too bad.
Speaker 02It was nice just seeing like the few people that we did meet for the swingers and spoke to were absolutely lovely and couldn't have been more helpful. And um like we had really good I had really good experiences just generally with the people that were there, like everybody was really lovely. Like I kinda really say that I had many like conversations that I'd rather a hudney um aye, no, like it was good, it was good just seeing people being able to just like be themselves, yeah, and just like have that freedom as that person saying, like it was good, it was nice, it was nice that there's like a space that people can all come together for that.
Speaker 01Literally flashbacks with any hope with any luck even um what else have we got?
Speaker 02I feel like I'm trying to balance. So we had one just for FET fest um that said honestly, shit, it's supposed to be a joint festival, and the FET side has been left to rot, it's disorganized, no signs to say where the FET side is, and the organizer is rude. Um what else did we have? Someone who came for all three, nice saying euphoric, exciting, refreshing, it's something that stands out from the from the crowd and is totally different.
Speaker 01Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah. Again, there's not that many in the UK you can actually compare this to, yeah, which makes it so special.
Speaker 02Yeah, and jumping forward a wee bit, there was one response that had said they came to the festival. This is like, have you been to something like this before? They were like, came to the festival last year, been to JD's festival also, and like I tried to look this up and I couldn't find anything about it. Um, who was it that said that? Are they anonymous? Let's make sure. Oh my god, this is so long. Yeah, heading in hell. Um, so we are very interested in knowing what this is if you hear this. I might pop you a message afterwards because I want to know. Yeah, give us information. Give us the tea. Um but jumping back, sorry. So, what have you most enjoyed or looking forward to? So we had um red ammunition events, more people coming to Fet Fest, it's dead over here. Um how swingers and content creators integrated so well, they had such a great time. That was really lovely. I can imagine that that like worked quite well. Um of the three groups, like I feel like people tend to either be like swingers or like um like fet lifestylers or kinksters, that was the word I was looking for. I'm not saying that people can't be both, but I feel like most people tend to be one or the other in that experience. I'd say, yeah.
Speaker 01Um me personally, I I well I'm sure we would do a podcast about it. Yeah. There's a lot of stigma about swingers and things.
Speaker 02I feel like they got a lot more stigma than um like actual I forgot the word again. What was the word you said? Kingsters. Kingsters. I'm just stuck with fet lifers in my head and I don't know why. Um for different reasons. I'm not saying that there's none no stigma for either, but like I don't know, me and Jason were talking about this, and I feel like the reason why swingers always end up in the papers all the time is because like it's interesting, people are more interested in like other people having sex and the kind of taboo of that than they are like people hitting each other. Like I feel like that comes second to like the the canet do you know what I mean? I can see that, yeah. Like it at least is more like it's the whole sensationalised or can be more sensationalised, I find, of the two.
Speaker 01It's the whole sex cells, yeah.
Speaker 02Um like it just does things in our brain, like biologically. It's interesting, it's drama, it's people living vicariously, I think, a lot of the time. And claiming that they're like outraged at the thing, but it's like, well, you're the one that keeps reading about it and writing about it and talking about it, like Yeah.
Speaker 01Yeah, like like with Kink, there's so many different fetishes, you could make so many frickin' articles and everything like that. Yeah, totally. Whereas with the swinger side, that's like, oh, they have sex with each other and all that stuff. Ooh, yeah. You would never do that. Like it's it's like, what do you want? Yeah, sex workers, you you make a article about how sex workers get paid, and then you scrutinize people who freely want to have sex with other people. It's like pick a fucking lane. Yeah. It's like, is it good to have sex with people for free, or is it not good to have sex for money and things like that? It's like people just sex sells. It absolutely does in any way possible.
Speaker 02But people aren't happy about this is the kind of bomb.
Speaker 01People aren't happy about anything. Like, I feel like that's what we've learned, especially on this podcast where it's like people will complain about kingsters, but people will complain about sex workers, they'll complain about swingers, yeah, they'll complain about everything, yeah, just because they're not fucking interested in it in their own lives.
Speaker 02Yeah, because they've got non-pair today, basically.
Speaker 01Exactly. It's like I guarantee you, if one of them actually grew up and they were like, oh, I like a bit of bum fun, or something like that, they either suppressed it, don't want to acknowledge it. Yeah, and they they they just want to make everybody's lives hell. Because they Because that's how they feel. Yeah. Yeah. And they just also just don't see it in the way of like we've got freedom and we're it's our own bodies. Yeah. So I feel like the there's a lovely podcast to be made there, or just on the topic of what bullshit people talk about.
Speaker 02Yeah. Um cool. Next um another thing someone enjoyed was that it was a good holiday and they met some wonderful people, which is really nice. I feel like that was like quite a running theme throughout um a lot of the kind of feedback was that people met a lot of people and had a lot of fun, which we we're in the same boat with. Like, um aye, it was good it was a good place for meeting people.
Speaker 01Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we're all there for one reason.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01So it was good, it was nice.
Speaker 02Well, three reasons, but I feel like they all intermingled quite well for the most part. Yeah. Um cool. So the next part was what is your most outrageous story? And obviously, there's not we're not covering every answer here because we had quite a few, but again, we're gonna have it all available if anybody wants to go and have a look. Um, but a couple of standouts from the most outrageous story where um I once had sex with a girl I met that night on a train bridge, and as I'm mid-flow, a train comes underneath us and the driver presses his horn. It's just quite a good image. Like I just have a look. Yeah.
Speaker 01I was like, wow, how'd you get into that position? I want to know did they meet her on the train bridge?
Speaker 02Oh, I like to tag, yeah. Did they meet each other and then go to a second location, which was the train bridge? Were they sober? I'm assuming not. I'm assuming not. Doesn't feel like a sober story.
Speaker 01Is it is the word promiscuous? Yeah. Is that the word? Yeah.
Speaker 02Hmm.
Speaker 01Hmm.
Speaker 02I feel like that's quite a tame word when we're talking about swinging festival, but um cool. So someone else took part in their very first orgy at Swingathon, which is I don't know why that's so wholesome, but it just is nice.
Speaker 01Like um we had Oh, they should have handed out medals or like little chocolate coins. That would have been so good.
Speaker 02Yeah. Imagine someone losing their virginity at swingathon. Oh that's the that's a good way to go do it. I knew someone who lost their virginity in an orgy. I've took a good few virginities.
Speaker 01So like that's that's a good way to do it, like in an orgy. No. Just anyway. Just anyway. Yeah. See me. No, no. Cull here. I don't think we can do that. Cole swing up on her.
Speaker 02They have her cart. You don't have a cart. Just wind that back in.
Speaker 01No, that's a good way to do it. Just go out and have an orgy. It's just yeah. It's just good. You've got so many people there and like you're having so many different experiences.
Speaker 02Just all at the same time. I mean that does sound up my street to be good. Imagine the adrenaline. Yeah. So our next one is a custom eBay order with the design for a real torture device that could be used alongside a bone saw. I'm struggling to picture this. What is a bone saw? Is that like the the ones that they use like the olden day?
Speaker 01Like the olden day, you can still get bone saws.
Speaker 02No, but like for let me see. That was the one I had in my head. Like the pure like old school. It's a proper medical. Yeah, like medical bone saw.
Speaker 01I want to know what this is. I know. This was by Unholy Carpentry.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01Oh, I said that right.
Speaker 02Good job.
Speaker 01It was like a tongue twister for me.
Speaker 02That's well cool. I'm intrigued. I'm gonna do I might message them as well. Um be like, give us like a drawn image of how this if they are okay with it, maybe we could get this the information that we're gonna get after this put up on the blog posts as well, so we can get a wee show and tell. That would be cool.
Speaker 01No, because then that'll give people ideas of like what to make for themselves. Then we get a message being like, oh I uh I didn't decapitate me miss it as thought.
Speaker 02Well just like display only the breath play was a bit uh cosplay accessory um so another one. I squirted on about ten men's faces and orgy in the Nubian Knight's Tent, which I believe also hosted one of the other podcasts. Yes, yes, which is pretty cool. Um see we missed all this. There was so much going on. There was yeah, there was uh oh, single domin two ladies on the main stage. Nice. Who was that?
Speaker 01Do they want to the main stage was on the swing of fun side, so we could not see or anything like that.
Speaker 02Oh, so that was Hades Ex Machina.
Speaker 01Nice, very nice.
Speaker 02They were happy with our stuff being shooted. That's pretty cool. I'm guilty I missed that as well. I was working, I'm pure moaning, like I like I was actually like busy. So this is like a lot of the reason why.
Speaker 01You were trying to make the money back because you spent on that, which is absolutely fair. Um cool. Is there any other ones that were jumping out at you?
Speaker 02Because I just stopped highlighting stuff. This was like a pain to do on this phone.
Speaker 01So I mean, what would be nice was people were that lovely that we had a question saying piece of piece of advice that you wish you had coming into the scene. Are we just skipping ultimate fantasy? Oh, everything is ultimate fantasy. There's there's tons of stuff. I've just read the third one.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01Um do do we say that one? Yeah, so one of them is to make a profit, which is just yep. Like we this we wish this would be all rainbows and happiness and things like that, but sadly for at least it it seems on the questionnaire at least for a few people.
Speaker 02It was an outlet. Yeah. I think people were needing a bit of event, which is totally fair. Like, everybody's obviously got different experiences of what happened, and it was like split over two places, so it makes sense why there is such a variance in three places, or three places, sorry. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 01See, this is how like the organisers must have felt with just like oh, there's a third place, and like especially if they've been used to just doing swing-a-thon. Like, I can get I can understand where that was their main focus, and that was like especially if they had volunte volunteers, but they had other people there that were supposed to be kind of taken care of the separate bits, they addressed the fact that they needed more volunteers and things like that because it was quite big, mm-hmm.
Speaker 02Yeah. Um so another one is to make or help with a kink.com piece of furniture.
Speaker 01And I'm just like, oh, he mentioned kink.com.
Speaker 02Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, if I could if I could build things like that would be my dream as well. If that was like something that I was interested in, that's totally fair.
Speaker 01Kink.com still had their castle, mate.
Speaker 02Oh no. Did someone buy it? I'm sure I've seen that recently.
Speaker 01Yeah, yeah. Like they sold it and everything. Oh, I wouldn't. And there's in this. See, yeah, somebody put gangbang and I'm like Ultimate Fantasy, mate. Come on.
Speaker 02What what is the opposite? Because someone like when it's all when it's all females and one male, is that still a gangbang? Because someone's also put FF F F F F M. Is that sex? Yeah, I'd just say that's like an orgy. Is it not also a gangbang? It's just one anyway.
Speaker 01I don't know. What class is a gangbang as a gangbang?
Speaker 02Yeah. When does it become an orgy?
Speaker 01Are we allowed to use the word gangbang? That is the word then that is in on here. So we were just reading out information. Because to be fair, I thought the history was that like gangsters and that and face.
Speaker 02I've never thought about that before. Like I've never I thought it was because there was like a gang in them.
Speaker 01Like I thought that was just like a literal I thought it would bet it reverted back to like the gangsters on the streets and that. Probably does. Yeah.
Speaker 02Uh let's find another one.
Speaker 01Like, I've been watching a lot of lore and order, like the husband blown by a TV.
Speaker 02Nice.
Speaker 01That ultimate fantasy, that one.
Speaker 02It sounds like they've had that, which is it, where was that? That's they watch your ultimate fantasy. Oh. That sounds like they have lived their ultimate fantasy. Well done. What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? Have more! I suppose you can just keep going, yeah.
Speaker 01Um why did somebody put what hot ultimate fantasy? Hot day mountain top waterfall. He definitely has all the muscles. What is that all about? Is that just funny? Do they mean hot guy? Maybe, yeah.
Speaker 02Maybe they just that's done. There's a few hot guys. I feel like we should have worded some of these questions better as the takeaway. The questions went many ways, isn't it? People have like interpreted them in different ways. We should have probably put sexual fantasy as what we were meaning rather than just fantasy. Because some people have been talking about like their actual life goals and stuff, which is totally fair and like nice to hear about, but it's not quite what we had in mind. But it's totally on us because we've had multiple people answered this very differently.
Speaker 01So one of them that stands out is uh what's your ultimate fantasy? A complete power dynamic where my partner has control of everything. That kind of makes me sad. Why? Because it's an ultimate fantasy, uh-huh. Like that can happen in a non-abusive way. Yeah. But to say it's a fantasy, that makes me think about it.
Speaker 02I feel like it's a good thing though, because it means that they're aware of that taking a lot of time and work and effort and communication to get to that place, and they're maybe on their way there. It's not to say that they're not, but they're aware that they're not ready for that yet.
Speaker 01And I think that's like Yeah, because we had that discussion with somebody, well, mainly you, uh huh, on Fit recently, and he was talking about how and I'm sure he's gonna listen to this as well, about how difficult it was just trying to find people in kink. Yeah, and it's something which I've already uh always said to people where it's like a needle in a fucking haystack, yeah. Finding people who have the same kinks as you and are still on the same wavelength and everything like that.
Speaker 02It can be quite hard, I find, as well. Like if you are in like a long-term relationship, like kinks change over time, they just do, like it's just the case, it's just what happens. I'm not saying for everybody, but for most people, I would say, and I would never say that it's never gonna happen. I feel like everybody's always got that possibility.
Speaker 01It's like COVID, it can just fucking hit you and you don't think it's gonna happen to you.
Speaker 02And like if you're in a long-term relationship, like who's to say that your kinks are gonna stay the same all the way through said relationship?
Speaker 01Like, yeah, yeah, it's it's one of those things, and if you've got ADHD, you're fucked.
Speaker 02This is why I'm like, new stuff all the time, put it all in a shop and sell it. It's great. Never have a good excuse to just constantly look for new things to buy, it's amazing. So yeah, cool. Uh I think we're like getting close to time, and we have not covered quite a lot of this. So let's uh well shall we try and speed rush through some of the rest of it.
Speaker 01So what piece of advice?
Speaker 02Yeah, so we've done what's a piece of advice you wish you had coming into the scene. We left this quite neutral so that it could cover whatever scene was relevant for that person, whether it was swinger, creator, fish, or a mixture of it all. Yeah. Um and I just think it's really nice because I feel like any advice kind of applies to all three for the most part, unless it's like really detailed and specific. So um, well, would you just read out all of these? I feel like Yeah, absolutely. Um you want to do one and I do the other? Yeah. So have the confidence to talk to people more and enjoy myself more.
Speaker 01I absolutely love that. Yeah. The other one was listen and watch first, which is great advice on the bloody either side because you learn while watching.
Speaker 03Yep.
Speaker 01It's like even with me, with my experience of pro-domming, I still go to workshops, I still um watch people because it's just it's interesting and you learn mu so much.
Speaker 03Yeah.
Speaker 02Totally. Yeah. Um it means like getting into your community and stuff as well, first I find, which I think is like a good piece of advice. It's not everybody's journey and it certainly wasn't mine, but there's a bit of me wish it had been, because I feel like the amount that I've learned since actually coming into the scene compared to what I did kind of floundering on my own is m mad.
Speaker 01Like I mean, I went in there freaking headfits.
Speaker 02You go like the opposite to me.
Speaker 01From ages 15 to like 19 and whatnot. So I went in their fucking head first, and now it's it's slowed down. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm like, I'll take my time.
Speaker 02I did the silly like 16-year-old 24-7 relationship thing as well, but like with someone who's abusive, so yeah.
Speaker 01Oh, mine wasn't far off either, to be fair.
Speaker 02Yeah, it was bad. Like, it's taught me a lot, but I feel like that timing between like ending that relationship and then coming onto the scene, like I feel like I would have got my confidence with things back. Not it's not like anything to do with my partner, it's just like trauma, great. Oh but coming into the scene and like seeing how wholesome it is has changed a lot of like how I've felt about things in myself, which has been like amazing and kind of recommend it enough to anybody, really.
Speaker 01So like like I I will be the depressive one here, but like there is negativity. I'm just talking about like dramas like there will be negativity and toxicity in whatever community you talk to.
Speaker 02It's not to say that there's not, it's just yeah, it's not all r rainbows and whatnot, but it's for the most part, and as long as you know what to look out for and keep yourself safe as as you do in an everyday life way, anybody who's potentially like toxic.
Speaker 01Yeah.
Speaker 02Um yeah.
Speaker 01But yeah, the next one was try to talk with everyone in the room as you can learn so much and meet amazing people. Yeah, again, learn about the community you're in or want to be in, or you're around. It's it it will surprise you what other people say and things. Totally. Uh don't rush headfirst into everything.
Speaker 02There is time for everything eventually. Nah, mate, not when I was young. I feel like that's good advice for some people. Like, oh, absolutely, absolutely. If if you could go back, would you not tell yourself to slow down a wee bit?
Speaker 01Nah, mate, it was alright. Totally fine. Um I I think even even though I'm not religious or anything like that, I I'm not into the witchy stuff. I feel like everything in a way happens for a reason. Oh, definitely. Because I wouldn't be the person who I am today. And if I didn't go in head first, then I probably would have I don't know. I I don't know.
Speaker 02You don't know where your life would have gone if that hadn't happened, basically. I totally get that.
Speaker 01Because of things of what happened, I I knew I wanted to be a sex worker. Yes. And I was into a lot of kink stuff when I was younger because I was exposed to things online. Yeah. So I don't know if I would change things. Uh-huh. Oh god, I just I I don't I don't want to imagine me being very mellow and like I don't think I can imagine that to be honest.
Speaker 02No, no. How are we doing for time? Um take your time. Yeah, just take your time. Yeah. Um what you think it's like and what it's like are very different.
Speaker 01Yeah.
Speaker 02The stereotype over swinging isn't what it's like when you turn up at an event.
Speaker 03Mm-hmm.
Speaker 02Which I think is really good advice. Like, I feel like there's so as we were saying, there's so much stigma out there, and if your only experience or knowledge of a thing is the stigma surrounding it, like you're you're pretty ignorant. Like you don't you're getting an ignorant viewpoint on that.
Speaker 01Like with just anything really like I I'm sure we will do a podcast at some point about swinging because I I've done a few years swinging and stuff in my earlier years, so I have a wee bit of experience and there are negatives, yeah there was there was like like you will get people looking at you, that's just because you're either naked or dress sexy, and I I I love the attention, so that was fine, but like there was one point where a guy physically tried to barge into a room, a private room, that me and other people were in and things, yeah. So, like, there is some truth to the stigma, I would say, from me personally being in it. What what stigma do you mean by that? Uh where there's a lot of horny guys and they don't think with their heads uh that stigma. Um I don't believe everybody is like infested with STI or ST.
Speaker 02I think that's more the stigma people mean when they're like when they're talking about like what's in the papers and stuff.
Speaker 01Again, with just the papers, they want to say the most shocking things, yeah.
Speaker 02I feel totally whether it's truthful or not, yeah. The latter being true most of the time.
Speaker 01Like like I would want to think that people do get checked and things when they have multiple partners.
Speaker 02Yeah, well, having watched like some of the people that were at swing-athon, like kind of talking about their experiences and stuff, and like a few of them had interviews and stuff like that that I've watched. Like, um, they were saying that people in that community tend like obviously I can't speak for experience, but they were saying like people tend to get checked like every six to seven weeks and stuff like six to seven weeks, yeah. Um and stuff like that.
Speaker 01So because the and the reason for that um length of time is because you can have symptoms, uh, and it not show and things like that. Yeah. So it's it's down to who you play with basically, and if you do trust them.
Speaker 02And about like doing the necessary checks, just as you would in any like any of these communities that we're talking about. Like you need to watch who you play with. Who you play with, who you're having sex with, who you're working with.
Speaker 01Yeah.
Speaker 02Like just like true of anybody, really, you know, it's no different.
Speaker 01Like, it's down to each individual person, it's not the whole community, they're just in the community.
Speaker 02And I feel like it's always a few like bad apples in the bunch that end up just making a name for everyone else. Because like, they're the stories that are interesting.
Speaker 01Yeah, like I know that there are people out there from experience who before they play with you, they don't ask for a certificate or anything like that, or a health certificate.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01So it it is up to you who you play with, basically.
Speaker 02And to do like the relevant like safety checks that you need to feel safe.
Speaker 01And that's up to you.
Speaker 02And that's your choice, what what that looks like.
Speaker 01Yeah. But again, we can we can make a podcast on a podcast episode on that.
Speaker 02Totally.
Speaker 01The other one was trust your gut, even if it disagrees with your brain, your instincts keep you safe. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02Good advice. Um I'm just gonna do three together. So we're saying don't be nervous, we're all here for the same thing. Um, take it slow, and everyone struggles to swing. Yeah, yeah. So I feel like they're kind of all said the same thing, like it's just it's a lot in the beginning, but yeah, just take it easy, find your feet, like you'll get there. Yeah, with this, everybody's hover the same.
Speaker 01To swing, it's like you you you can't expect to go into a room and have people dry hump your leg and whatnot. Yeah, you you there are people, me, who would want to be introduced to people who I play with and things back in the day. No, no, no, no, just go for it. But like now I want to be introduced, um, especially in like fet on who this is, what experience do they have and things like that. Yeah, yeah, totally. I'm just a very picky person when it comes to safety and who I play with and things, yeah. But yeah, you're not gonna go somewhere and instantly have somebody who wants to fuck you or give you a blowjob or eat you out or whatnot. Yeah, it just it just it might work like that, you might be lucky. Depends on the night, depends on the people, basically. I remember Channel 4 did a documentary. No, sort of, it was a mini-series, and there was a couple on there who went swinging. There was a couple on there who went swinging and they literally showed in the episode that they got nothing. I think I seen that one actually. It was really sad, yeah. Nobody wanted to play with them and they were opposite somebody who was like having an audience stuff.
Speaker 02Yeah, and they were just sitting, yeah, and it was so awkward. I don't think I could deal with like the rejection of that. Like I have.
Speaker 01I was very shocked that they showed the rejection of swinging. I don't I mean, I I I think that was a good thing. I don't want people to see it as like a dig to the swinging community.
Speaker 02Yeah, I think they're trying to show all sides of it and all possibilities.
Speaker 01Yeah, but so it is a struggle for people, absolutely. Um consent is key, and you control who gets access to your body. That was one of the answers. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. That needs to be in every single um community, that needs to be followed, absolutely.
Speaker 02It's paramount, like yeah, it's very, very important.
Speaker 01Um break that and you're fucked up.
Speaker 02The last one is I lived a lot before I joined the scene, so I had my own own head full of advice before I started. Maybe a little less advice would have been better. Which I get this, like I feel like a like what's the word? Like this makes sense to me. I feel like sometimes you can get really bogged in with like the practicalities of a thing, and like there's nothing better than just jumping in. Like there's a happy medium, basically, yeah, between the two rather than waiting like 10 years to go and do something that you've always wanted to do because you feel like you need to get everything perfect before you do it. Do you know what I mean? I feel like there needs to be like a medium where you do a little bit and then you go and see what it's like.
Speaker 01The next question we had was what's one thing you've done that should have stayed a fantasy?
Speaker 02Yeah. So we didn't get too much for this, but I feel like the the the one that jumps out at me and I actually had a wee giggle at was um cake face sitting video been an idea for a while and it should have stayed that way. Wait to leave us on a cliffhanger. Like I want to know what happened. Like did a sprinkle get stuck up there? Like there's so many ways this could have gone that it's like a no-go for perfection.
Speaker 01Like I I know that the people who do cake videos, which I I did a cake photo shoot, you need to have certain icing, you need to have a certain cake. It all needs to be like proper prepared. Yeah, so yeah, we we need more details on that, we really do. One of them said entertained swinging.
Speaker 02Oh, interesting. Yes, they've had like a negative experience with it or something, or I mean, as it happens all the time, something feels amazing in your head, and then you go to try it and it just it's not for you, and that is totally fine.
Speaker 01Absolutely. It's one thing with work which I can relate that to, yeah, is when people come to me and they're like, Oh, I saw some strap on porn. Yeah, because that is the most common one I get.
Speaker 02Yeah, I feel like that's quite like a common fantasy that people have that maybe don't always get to try it out because they're too scared to say their partner.
Speaker 01Like I see that online all the time, and I'm like, just do it, just ask them, and then they try it, and they're like, Oh, this should have stayed a fantasy. Yeah, yeah. I do not like my guts being rearranged because that's how it feels like to some people. Yeah, uh cool.
Speaker 02So the next one was what is your party trick? We got some good ones for this. Um, so the first one we got was my size. I don't know what they mean by this. I don't know, I don't know if they mean they're really tall or otherwise.
Speaker 01I cannot see those on my phone.
Speaker 02Do you want mine over for the next one?
Speaker 01Oh yeah. My size. Um are we mentioning all of these? Just the ones that I love that there were so many party tricks.
Speaker 02Yeah.
Speaker 01I want to go to this party. Somebody's like putting a condom on with my mouth, that's always a good one. Yep. Um that they can eat fire and glass. Nice. That that that's a goal. Yeah, that's just hot as fuck. There's a go.
Speaker 02There's a go. Oh, what have you done?
Speaker 01You're up at S. I did that. I rotated the screen and then it went.
Speaker 02Well, I just read the rest of them. Yes, you might as well because I can't see them. So, uh making women squirt who haven't before. Um, someone can solve half a Rubik's Cube. I don't know how much the flakes that but fair enough. I don't know if I'd pay to see that.
Speaker 01No, I I'd pay to eat the fire pay to eat the oh Jesus. I'd pay to see the eat the fire in glass.
Speaker 02Uh can fit my hand in my mouth. Um put oh putting a condiment, yeah. Like oral fixations in here. Um I can make puddles appear from blunt objects, I squirt so much from thuddy impact. Squirting on demand. Um make others smile and feel good about themselves. Oh that's so awesome.
Speaker 01That's such a good party trick. Could you imagine people are just having sex or whipping somebody and somebody comes on and be like, You've got a beautiful smile, beautiful technique, yeah. Keep thrusting. Oh, that's so nice. That's so cute.
Speaker 02Um cool, and then the last one was Have you bought any toys from the traders? Um people bought this. Was just like to give a wee idea like what type of stuff was on one sale. So someone bought a flogger, some nude playing cards, and some off-cuts of leather, um, clothes and a dildo, paddle, whip, and outfits, um a whip.
Speaker 01The traders were amazing, yeah. Totally. There was no fault with the traders or anything like that. They were all fantastic. All their merchandise? Yeah. Yeah. All their merchandise are amazing, really, really good. I love seeing everybody's things. Yeah. There's a few things on my wish list now.
Speaker 02It was quite nice because we got to go out, like obviously we were handing the business cards out, so we got to see everybody. Yeah. Other than the one guy who I was gonna go and get a t-shirt from, the the Irish boy who I feel terrible, I cannot remember his name at the moment. Um, but it had like the it was like the Russian dolls that were um like had like the game.
Speaker 01But I just sadly saw his shop.
Speaker 02I know that every like the few times I went over it was shut, and it was because I was going like so late at night because I was obviously like working all day.
Speaker 01So but they were awesome, there was a lot of people actually wearing his shirts.
Speaker 02Yeah, I keep I kept seeing it about and I was it was pure just like tempting me. I was like, but yeah. But yeah, just again, loads of impact toys and candles. I feel like we got quite a lot of the kink people answering answering our questionnaire, but yeah, overall, I think yeah, it looks like everybody bought something other than one person, so it was good, yeah.
Speaker 01I think to round it off with Fair Fest, sadly, it it it didn't hold short for me as a customer. Um yeah. That's what I was saying.
Speaker 02But I think hopefully with them moving back to uh setup they're comfortable with things. It'll definitely be better. Yeah, it'll be better next year. And that's all you can ask for at the end of the day.
Speaker 01Oh yeah. It it's more swing side, which sadly I I'm not invested in. Yeah.
Speaker 02But it's no routine at the end of the day.
Speaker 01Well, the best for them and what yeah, totally.
Speaker 02I'm glad they all had like such an amazing time, like genuinely, because it looked class. I wish like I'd go to see a bit more of it.
Speaker 01But no, this has been Behind the Paddle.
Speaker 02As always, we've got a little discount code for you guys for thesancuryofsin.com, which is just behind the paddle, and that'll get you a 10% discount.
Speaker 01Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'll be able to find us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube.
Speaker 02Just all the usual places. Yeah.
Speaker 01Which usual.
Speaker 02Everything's listed on our all my links.
Speaker 01Yeah, yeah. If you do want to support us even more, you can subscribe or give us a little tip. That would be absolutely wonderful. But yeah, thank you for listening. This has been Behind the Paddle with Possum Victoria. And Emily Son. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye.
