Hello and welcome to Behind the Paddle Podcast with me, Porcelain Victoria. Today we're going into a subject which I really really wanted to talk about for quite a while, ever since it came out, which was Adolescence, the Netflix series. Now it's got four episodes, and let me tell you, each one of those is so so gripping. It's a series that holds up a mirror to misogyny in modern society. It's very raw, it's disturbing. For me, I didn't expect it, so I don't really look at trailers or anything like that. I saw a little bit, and I was like, yes, let's watch that. And then I heard even more about it, and I was like, definitely need to talk about this. And talking about misogyny, it definitely is a conversation which needs to be had in, I believe, every household with everybody because it is there, and sadly it is here to stay because it's been so many centuries of misogyny, and hopefully at some point it'll die out, but we will have to see. Over the next hour, we're gonna break down the show's most powerful scenes, which is all of them. Talk about the cast and talk about the experts who say things about um misogyny. And hopefully we can understand what adolescence is really trying to say about gender, power, and violence. This episode of Behind the Powder Podcast matters because we're not just reviewing the series, we're unpacking the deep-rooted issues of misogyny, both on screen and in real life. We're gonna examine adolescence as a case study and dive into the real world. Mainly, we're gonna talk about the UK statistics, because that's where Behind the Paddle podcast is based. We're gonna talk about gender-based violence, workplace equality, and social attitudes. So, as I've said, how adolescence in general was for me, it was it was raw, it was uncomfortable, man, it was gritty. I thought at the first episode I was honestly gonna be on the edge of my seat, and I thought this was gonna be a did he do it, did he not do it? Like, is it gonna be like the Netflix series um making a murderer where you have to like sort of decide if they did it or not with the evidence that's given? But as we all talk about in the first episode, what happens, it was so not like that. It was so done very, very well this series. So episode one opens up with detectives Inspector Luke Bascombe and Sergeant Misha Frank leading a raid at the Miller residence, which is the main family we're gonna talk about. The officers arrest Jamie, which he is a 13-year-old kid who lives with his family, his older sister and mum and dad. The officers arrest him on suspicion of murder and transport him to a local police station. Throughout the process, Jam Jamie tearfully maintains his innocence while his family is in absolute shock. So his family follows him to the station. The dad, Eddie, assumes the role of James's appropriate adult, a legal requirement for minors in custody, allowing him to be present during James's processing and interrogation, which really shows how young this kid is. Eddie questions Jamie about allegations and upon hearing his son's denial chooses to believe him. Because why would you not believe your child? Why would you not? They're your baby. So then the kid is getting interrogated. They proper probe him about his social media activity highlighting sexually explicit comments he made about female models and photos. The questioning then shifts to his relationship with Katie Leonard, revealing complex dynamics between the teenagers. Now, they hit on this about how they how Katie left comments on his social medias, and we figure out what this all means in other episodes. The moment comes where the detective presents CCTV footage showing Jamie stabbing Katie in the car park. Like brutally stabbing her. Like his dad is in such bel disbelief that his son has actually done this. And like his world, you can just see it. The actor does an amazing job at just looking like his whole world shattered. And from that moment, me as the viewer was just like, whoa, we're going fully into this, like this. This kid did this. There is no denying that this kid killed this innocent girl. And the dad recoils when Jamie, the son, tries to touch him. Because the dad just he just can't get it round his head that his son has done this. And I do love that the whole all the episodes have unbroken and it's very like one shot and it's it's so beautifully done. It really, really does. So that kind of sums up episode one. Episode two is set three days later, after the murder of Katie Leonard, and the two detectives, they go to the secondary school. And honestly, for me, this just gave me flashbacks of how crap my school was. Because it was teachers who just didn't care about the students. There was not enough knowledge behind a lot of educational stuff and health and mental health um and disabilities. And so yeah, the portrayal of the school was beautifully chaotic in the way that it reminded me of my childhood because the teachers really struggled to manage the students, highlighting that the school has an inability to address the emotional turmoil following Katie's death. They don't know how to deal with this, they don't have a protocol for it. And then the detective's son actually talks, they talk to each other, and the detective's son is just like yo, Katie was actually bullying r um Jamie, calling him an incel. So an incel, if you don't know what that means, I will explain that right now. It sounds it stands for involuntarily celibate. Incels are typically men who feel frustrated by their lack of romantic or sexual relationships and often blame women or society for this. The term incel has become associated with certain online communities known as known for misogynistic, hostile or extremist views. So then we we do learn that Katie has been bullying Jamie. But let's be honest, just because you're bullied does not mean you need to get murdered. Simple as. Interview well attempt to really one of Jamie's best mates. And it doesn't really go well. And they wanna try to re-interview this kid called Ryan, but he flees, he shoots off, he runs away from the school, and the detective um Detective Bascom chases after him. And thankfully he catches him and Ryan actually confesses that he provided Jamie with the knife used in the murder, believing it would only be used to intimidate Katie. This admission results in Jamie's arrest for conspiracy. It is not okay. I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but it is not okay to give somebody a weapon, even if you think they're just going to intimidate somebody with it. Anything could go wrong, anything could happen, and it's just not the right decision in the first place. Violence threatening is not the way to go. Now we do get a look into Detective Detective Bascombe's life with his relationship with his son, and I like I thought it was gonna like lead to somewhere else, and like there is a part of this episode which also talks about Katie's best friends as well. And Katie's best friend talks about how her mum's gonna be mad that she has to pick her up because she has to work and all this stuff, and I was like, are they gonna go into these stories? Like, I was just I was the Cheshire cat, I was like way too curious about everybody else's lives as well, but they stayed focused in this story, which clapping my hands, props to them, and it's the beautiful ending to episode two where the dad, Eddie Miller, vis visits the site of Katie's murder to leave flowers, which symbolizes his sorrow and the complex emotions surrounding his son's actions. And while this scene is happening, you actually hear Katie Leonard, the actress, singing, and it is so beautiful. The amount of depth that is in this limited series is beautiful. Beautiful. So then we move on to episode three. We again it's all shot as like a one setting and it is so beautiful. So this happened seven months after Jamie's arrest for the murder. This episode is so good and it is so intense, and it is just shot in one location, focusing solely on their interactions. Whose interactions? Well, there is a psychologist who is interviewing Jamie, and she's interviewed him a good few times. So Briani is aiming to assess Jamie's mental state for an upcoming pre-trial report. And one of the things she mentions was that Jamie was actually in a bit of a scrap, in a bit of an altercation with another person in the facility. He's like in a kid's facility that he's in. And you'll see throughout this whole interaction of the psychiatrist and Jamie. Like he's displaying erratic behavior throughout their whole conversation. His emotions fluctuate between friendliness, paranoia, aggression, frets. But then he really wants Briny to like him so he turns nice and he tries so hard, I feel, but not at the same time to to not look threatening, but you just can't help it. And we get to one part where Jamie recounts how after a classmate shared around a topless image of Katie, Jamie actually asked her out, believing she would be vulnerable and more likely to accept him asking her out. I think he was going to a carnival or something like that. But she rejected him and later posted derogatory comments on his Instagram. I feel like like I personally have had that where I'm at an all-time low and males think they can just like sneak in and just be like, it's okay, like we we can do this, we can do that, and it's like no dude, no. Like I don't want to do anything with you. And you will see throughout the session, Jamie's emotional immaturity and volatile behavior become increasingly imparent. He advertently confesses, confesses to aspects of the crime and exhibits furious outbursts that leave Briney visibly shaken. Like you do see that he accidentally frickin' admits to murdering her and oh my god, he loses it. And he was just like, no, I I didn't mean to say that, no, I didn't and wow. That slip up. And so Brianie does actually inform Jamie that this will be their final session, and this prompts him to demand to know if she likes him. Her refusal to answer agitates Jamie even further, leading to his removal from the room. And you can see Brianie afterwards just silently weeping, underscoring the emotional toll of their interaction. Episode three was really, really beautiful. In the way you got to see Jamie and you got to see his misogynistic thoughts and his misogynistic side and how he thought that he was always in the right, whatever he was doing. He didn't but maybe he did realise the effect, but he wanted it to benefit him. He wasn't in it for Katie, he was in it for him, because he even admitted in episode three while being interviewed that he didn't find her attractive and she had such a flat chest. But because she was in a vulnerable situation and feeling vulnerable, he thought he would be able to actually persuade her to go out with him and to take advantage of her in that b because she was in that state. So episode four, the last month. So episode four, the last episode, we see that it jumps to 13 months after the murder after the murder of Katie Leonard. So we see that it's the dad's birthday and he's really attempting to just make it normal. Reclaim that sense of normality. But like he gets a card from his kid who's in um sort of prison right now, kid jail. And that you can see that hits him hard. And then he goes outside and he sees that his van has been vandalized by local teenagers, and you can see the stress, you can f see the feeling of an alienation that he's feeling within the community, and he tries to salvage the day by going to sort of like being cute and to get paint and whatever, and he wants to go to the cinema, and honestly, this scene where he's talking to his wife and his daughter about what he wants the day to be like because he's just seen his van, so he's came back in in like a rage and stressed and all this stuff. Honestly, that that kind of terrified me because I didn't really co grow up in a good childhood, and like if my dad was mad, we would run. We we you don't want to be around that or anything like that. And to me, they just looked scared. I don't know if anybody else picked up on that. I don't know, maybe it was my own trauma, but the mum and the daughter just seemed scared and like they went along with what he wanted to do. And they couldn't really say anything, really. Because they they didn't know how to calm him down apart from just agreeing with what he wanted to do. So they went to like being cute. While he's there trying to get the paint. To cover up the van because he can't afford anything else. Like his business, his whole life has shattered because his kid's a murderer. Well, yeah, he is, yeah. There's no suspected. Like, as as much as you want to think your kid hasn't done it, and the fact that so far his kid still Jamie is still saying that he's not guilty. You know, you still you still want to think you didn't create this. You didn't create a murderer. But yeah, he goes to get the paint and he's confronted by one of the staff workers. No, he goes to get the paint, and one of the staff workers actually recognize him, and they start to say that this is another male, a male staff worker, says to the dad, Oh, we believe your son, we don't believe the um he murdered her and everything like that, and like wow, it's it's shocking that there is a following for this, it's insane, and that that just makes them more upset, and I can absolutely understand that. I have my own personal things in my life where I've had situations like that happen, and I'm sure I'm gonna write a book at some point about my personal life and things, but I can relate to that in ways which which really really suck. And it is a horrible feeling where you see something and then somebody else is telling you different, and like you don't want to believe it at the same time, and it's just like what the hell? So, yeah, you really see the emotions of the dad and the rest of the family. So they're in the car. Well, actually, Eddie loses it and he throws the paint on the car because like he he ends up seeing the kids who did vandalize him. So he chases after them, catches them, yells at them, does all that stuff. Um, throws paint all over the car, gets banned from the BQ or whatever it is, and Jamie rings in the car. And he's like, Happy birthday, dad. And then what does he go and say that he's changed in his not guilty verdict to guilty silence that like cements it for everybody That i his kid this thirteen-year-old boy actually killed his classmate and when they get back home Eddie and Manda, the mum and dad, they confront each other and they have a proper heart to heart and such a painful discussion where they ask themselves basically, How did this happen? You're a good mum, I'm a good dad. And the weight of parental guilt and the search for the understanding permeate their conversation, highlighting the complexities of family relationships in the face of tragedy. They talk about how they may have overlooked signs of Jamie's online radicalization and emotional struggles. And it is really sad this scene because you really feel for them. Because there is so much that influences kids these days, like Andrew Tate, Donald Trump, so many popular influencers or figures in the world. Um kid some kids look up to them. And it's sad. And it just goes to show that this really needs to be spoken about in schools and at home. Hell, even grown-ass adults in their forties, fifties, sixties need to be told about misogyny and they need to recognize if they're doing it. And then the final most beautiful scene which really made me cry. The dad sits alone on his son's bed, overwhelmed by so many emotions. In a tender moment he kisses Jamie's teddy bear and whispers an apology, symbolizing his profound regret and the unspoken bond between father and son. This silent act encapsulates the series Exploration of Love, loss, and the enduring quest for redemption. Throughout the final, adolescence delves deep into parental responsibility, the impact of social pressures on youth, and the devastating consequences of unaddressed emotional turmoil. The series leaves viewers with a contemplative look at the intricate dynamics of family and challenges of navigating adolescence in a complex world. Now I am on this app called Letterboxd. It's where you can review movies and series and whatnot. And I looked at some of like the one-star reviews, and it was disgusting. It honestly was. Some people thought this was propaganda against men, and they just didn't believe it was happening, or they they couldn't relate to it or understand it, and I feel like that's the problem. There needs to be so much more education about misogyny and what can happen when there is misogyny. This series just it doesn't focus on obvious aggressors like abusive partners, violent men. There was backlash from men's right groups who claimed the show was anti-male and exaggerated the prevalence of misogyny. Others criticized it for being too heavy or painting men in a negative light, ironically proving the very point the show was making. According to a 2022 UGO study, 63% of women in the UK report experiencing street harassment, yet only 10% of men intervene. Now I'll tell you this from my personal experience. Whenever especially I've gone to London, I will get at least cat called twice during the day or asked about certain things about what I'm wearing or where I'm going, and it gets a bit creepy. Help me from getting harassed or stalked or what's the word like get getting like um talked to, flirted to, and like I don't want to be there, it's I don't want this. I've never had a guy who've intervened. And it's sad. A quote from sociologist Dr. Jackson Katz. Men's silence is one of the biggest reasons misogyny persists. When good men do nothing, bad men get away with it. Oh, that is oh too true. I also wanted to touch on gaslighting and how that can be brought into play with abusers and manipulators. The abusive partner twists events to make their other half question their own memory. And they can do that with using sort of comments by you're overreacting. That's not what happens. You always make things up. You're being too sensitive. Now, coming from a tragic past, I have had things like that said to me, and absolutely I've questioned every bit of what I've said. And it has made me look back now and go, what was I thinking? They literally made me think I was going insane. It can easily be done. Especially if you love someone or you're friends with somebody. A study by Women's Aid found that gaslighting is a common tactic in emotional abuse, making victims doubt their own reality. 52% of women in the UK report experiencing workplace sexual harassment, yet only 25% report it due to their fear of retaliation. Hashtag MeTooAdvocate Tiranna Burke Silence enables abuse. Women are taught to be quote grateful for their jobs even when mistreated. In the UK, over one million violent crimes against women and girls were recorded in 2023 and 2022, accounting for nearly 20% of all police recorded crimes. Every three days, a woman is killed by a man in the UK, often by someone she knows. The fact that when you type into Google Women Murdered My Men recently in the UK, there are so many. There are so many women who have been murdered. A schoolgirl, Holly Newton, age 15, was murdered by her ex-boyfriend Logan McPhal, who stabbed her to death in a frenzied attack in Northumberland in January 2023, after she ended their relationship, where an 18-year-old man killed her while she was trying to protect her friend. The friend in question was the ex-girlfriend of his. Between December 2024 and April 2025, several women in the UK have lost their lives at the hands of men, including their former partners. Phoenix Spencer Horne 21 found deceased on the eighteenth of november 2024 in Scotland. Carol James eighty one died on november fifteenth in London. Her husband eighty one has been charged with her murder. Murdered on the eleventh of November. Karen Cummings, a child's nurse killed in her home in Northern Ireland, where two men have been charged with her murder. Sophie Evans found deceased fifth of July in Wales, where a man has pled guilty to manslaughter. Joanne Pearson and Tiona Grant on Christmas Day last year both women were found fatally stabbed in an apartment in Milton Keynes. A 49-year-old man believed to be the partner of one of the victims was arrested at the scene. Claire Chick, a university lecturer and grandmother of five, was attacked in Plymouth and later died from her injuries. Her ex-partner has been charged with her murder. Karen Cummings, a nurse and mother of two, was found with a serious head injury. Carol Hunt and her daughters, Hannah and Louise. On July 9th, the three women were killed in their home. Louise's ex-boyfriend Kyle Clifford was apprehended and later sentenced to life imprisonment without parole for their murders. Gracie Spinks was murdered by a former colleague who had been stalking her. The names of the victims really need to be said and highlighted. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, then please listen. Emergency and support here are the organizations that can help. Emergency and crisis support in the UK National Domestic Abuse Helpline run by Refuge, a twenty four seven confidential support for those experiencing abuse. Call 0808 2000 247. Women's aid offer practical support and online chat services for survivors at womensaid.org.uk Rape Crisis England and Wales free and confidential support for survivors of sexual violence call 08 08 802 9999 for online and community based resources. The Bright Sky app, a discrete app that provides support and safety resources for victims of domestic abuse. Gallup specializes in helping LGBTQ plus individuals who face domestic violence and hate crimes. For men who want to change, respect UK helpline, a confidential support service for men who recognise they are displaying abusive behavior and want to help change it. Call 0808 802 4040. Women in the UK still earn eleven point eight percent less than men on average, with some industries having a gap as high as 25%. A recent survey found that 45% of men in the UK believe feminism has gone too far, highlighting persistent resistance to gender equality. Online misogyny has increased significantly with incel ideology and targeted harassment of women becoming more common. Studies show that men interrupt women thirty three percent more often than they interrupt other men. This undermines women's voices and reinforces power imbalances in discussions. I hate it when criticizing a woman's tone rather than engaging with what she's saying. For example, somebody saying calm down or you're being too emotional when she's making a valid point. I f I cannot stand it. The amount of times I've been told is like calm down, and it's like no, he raped me. I'm not gonna calm down. It is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And we can't dismiss women's experiences with responding with quote, not all men. Yeah, not all men. When a woman talks about sexism, harassment, anything to do negative negatively when it comes to men. And especially laughing up con laughing off concerns about safety, like walking alone at night. It it sounds so simple. Just a simple thing like walking alone at night can be so dangerous for a woman. It is not something that should be laughed about. Like for God's sakes, we have rape alarms and don't even get me started about man mansplaining. I don't think I need to explain that. Another thing I noticed was that people call women girls, but they still say men. For men, if that if you get what I mean. Like a 35-year-old female colleague is called a girl, while her male counterpart is a man or a leader. And we're just we're just girls. Little women. Oh, it annoys me so much. Like a confident man in the workplace is seen as assertive and even hot in some instances. While a confident woman is bossy, or a bitch, or aggressive, or just far too mean. Women in leadership are more likely to receive negative feedback on their quote tone. And the amount of times I've seen in movies where women have been questioned on what they want in their life. So where like they haven't wanted kids and they've been questioned, oh, but maybe you'll change your mind, or like, are you sure? And it's like w we know what we want. We like we're just talking to you. The amount of times I've heard women say, Oh, I wanted to get this promotion at work, but because I'm a woman and I don't have kids or do have kids, they didn't really want to give me it. The don't have kids was for in case in the future they did want to have kids, they would obviously have to leave for maternity and things like that. And the amount of times that I've been told I should smile more. Oh my god. Even in the most ridiculous places, like I was in I was in a swingers club, and it was like it was depressed, and it wasn't the greatest. And the male, one of the male staff came over. And they were like, Oh, you should smile more. And I was like, dude, there's like barely anybody here. And if you know where I'm based in Scotland, you might know this club. It's terrible. But hey, it was new, it was open, so I was like, we should try it. Um, but yeah, no, that it absolutely ruins my day, and it makes me hate men even more. Because it just reinforces the idea that our appearance exists for others, especially men. Like, I have not been told by a woman or a non-binary person anybody who isn't sismil to smile more. And in previous relationships, for me, I feel like the woman is expected to manage a relationship's emotional well-being as well as do so much more, like remember birthdays, planned dates, resolving conflicts while the man does little in return. The amount of times that I've had to pick up laundry nope. The dishes will be washed, but I will not be washing them. But then that becomes weaponized incompetence, which I know too much of, sadly. And then there's double standards when it comes to sexuality, and trust me, I I again I know oh so much about this being a sex worker that men with multiple partners are studs or pimps or a ladies' man, while women with multiple partners are a slut, a whore, a scarlet letter. We are branded with shame. Whereas with men they look fucking cool, don't they? You put a leather jacket on them, wow. They look so cool. Women are also judged for what we wear constantly. And then that also no, actually, I was gonna say that adds to catcalling, but we've been raped, we've been assaulted, we've been harassed, catcalled, stalked, for even when we're wearing full outfits, head to toe. So ignore that comment. Because that is a stupid comment that looks so blindly on what actually happens in real life. It's got nothing to do with what we wear. It's got everything to do with the men, the people who hurt us. Oh this topic has so many things that frustrate me. For example, dress codes targeting girls in school because boys, quote, can't control themselves. That is not our fault. Say it with me. It is not the woman's fault that men cannot control themselves. The fact that when a woman is hurt, sexually harassed, stalked, whatever it is, raped, the amount of times that I hear, quote, she was leading him on. Instead of holding men accountable for their actions, it makes me want to tear my hair out, it really does, because it is so there in your face. And if you want to go into other media and pop culture, well, only 28% of speaking roles in major films belong to women. Statistically, if a woman is a has a leading role in that movie, then the movie kind of doesn't do as well, especially if it is a superhero movie. Female superheroes wear skin tight suits and high heels, while male superheroes wear actual practical armor. And now we've seen it in games where the women wear ity bitty armor, and the men get like really like hunky, bulky, that's the word, not hung hunk hunky. Armour. And it's like even in music videos featuring fully dressed men while women are in bikinis, they're showing off their curves, how luscious they are, how sexy they are. We we just are like objects. We're accessories to an extent. It's easier said than recognized, honestly, with the warning signs of abusive relationships. Recognizing early indicators is really crucial, but I've been there and it is hard. It is hard to look past those rose tinted glasses. But if you can move those glasses for a moment and recognize maybe they've got control and behaviour with monitoring your activities, finances, social interactions with your friends or family, they want to isolate you, or verbal abuse with them belittling you, humiliating you, drug or two remarks aimed at undermining you, or even getting physical with you, and also gaslighting, manipulating you into questioning your own reality and memories. Run. Don't talk to them, leave them. Move out Don't see them again. You don't want that in your life. Now, how can people intervene safely when they witness misogyny? They can create a diversion to de-escalate the situation with direct without direct confrontation. They can seek assistance from authorities or individuals better positioned to intervene. They could even record the incidents when possible, providing evidence if needed later. They could do the direct approach and address the behavior calmly, expressing concern and highlighting its inappropriateness. And you could especially support the victim, offer reassurance, listen without judgment, and provide information on available resources. Understanding the complexities of misogyny and the media's influence is pivotal in fostering a more equitable society. For education, awareness, and proactive engagement, individuals can contribute to challenging and reshaping harmful gender norms. With all this information, what can we actually do about misogyny? Well, we could actually listen and believe women, call out sexist behaviour and language, just unlearn the toxic masculinity that has sculpted many people, and trust me, it's sculpted me before, and I've had to unravel all of it and think about how I do see the world and how I do see other women. A lot of things in this world do need to change. We need to educate ourselves and others. We need to challenge misogyny when we see it if we can. And we need to vote for policies that do protect women rather than endanger us or not let us do what we want with our bodies, our education, everything. Misogyny isn't just in TV shows, it's in our daily lives. But we can change it. So let's do that. Thank you so much for listening to Behind the Paddle Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. I do believe this might be an hour-long episode. But thank you very much. If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please follow, like, and support us. Please leave a review. If you want to listen to any topics, please do. I am all ears. And yeah, you can catch us on Dark Fans, Many Vids, Twitter, TikTok, Instagram. Oh so many. As well as Apple Spotify. But yeah. Bye.