Speaker 1 0:59

Hello and welcome to Behind the Paddle podcast with me, Porcelain Victoria. If you are watching at all, um you'll see that I have gone with a new angle and it's mainly just my face that you can see and the mic, and yeah, I'm so excited to do this episode. This uh this week has been hectic, but uh but Friday and Saturday I was like, I'm not gonna work. I do need to film an episode, but I'm not gonna work. I'm gonna actually relax. And for me, if anybody knows me, if anybody knows me, um, then it's really hard for me to relax because backstory, I grew up in a not so great environment where if I was relaxing, it wasn't good, and I needed to do something. Um, what's the word? I've forgotten what the word is, where like I I just needed to do something um around the house. I know the word, but it's not it hasn't came to me yet. Um so yeah, very, very much trying to get used to like relaxing, but now I'm in a panic. Well, not panic, but like it is like 10 pm and I know it's gonna take me a good few hours, probably like three at least three hours to edit this episode. So I have Red Bull on hand right now because I was just like, yeah, I'll take everything easy and like Saturday, Saturday, uh well, Friday went out, actually went club in. Congrats to me uh on my own. It was great. Um there was a WWE themed night at a club, and I was like, Yes, I will be there. Blast the music in my ears, let me forget everything. I I love loud music, it's great. Um, and then Saturday I was like, right, nails, need to go get my nails done. So if anybody can see, or if they follow me on Instagram, whether it's my personal or the podcast, you will be able to see my new Pride nails because it's Pride next month. And oh my god, they look so nice, it's so they're so cute. Basically, they've all got like net jewels and necklaces, and they're all different pride flags. It's so cute, so cute. Um, and then I went to work. I was meant to relax. I was gonna go watch Final Destination cinema, and yeah, instead I I and go eat. Instead, I went and worked like my mentality is just work constantly. Um so yeah, now it is Sunday. I relaxed-ish, and now we are going to is Stibratically, is that the right word? Uh I don't know if that's the right word. Do a podcast episode. I'm so excited. This this episode that right, right. I've already babbled for like three minutes. We that this episode, if I can get my words out, it's it's gonna be like nearly an hour long, maybe even more. Um, so all my podcasts I type up um myself and do all the research and such, as well as all the other stuff. But my god, I've got nearly 30 pages of this episode. Do you want to know what episode we're gonna? I mean, the title's probably giving it away about what we're gonna do. But we're gonna talk about neurochemistry of BDSM, the dopamine, serotonin, and the brain on kink. So the colouring episode we did last week. Oh my god, everybody loved it. Whoa, whoa, hello, hi, new listeners. Thank you for coming and listening. We will stay on the topic of kink. Um, yeah, so this is going to sit back, relax. Uh have I even done the intros? I don't even know if I have. ADHD brain, uh, goldfish memory. Um, welcome to Behind a Powder Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. Um, yeah, today we are gonna talk about neurochemistry. I am so so excited. So excited. So, where the science of pleasure meets the R of Kink. In this episode, we're gonna deep dive into neurochemical currents running beneath every flogger, every whisper, and every command. Whether you're a dominant, submissive, switch, or simply curious. Understanding the chemistry of your brain during a BDSM scene can not only deepen your experience, but also enhance trust, intimacy, and safety. Now, safety is like a massive big one in the kink community. We will be going over um, what is it called? I want to say sack. It's rack, you idiot. Yeah, we will be going at some point over SSC, rack, and prick, which are all shortened forms of basically you you need consent. Um we will be going all over that at some point in a whole podcast episode. I'm sure I'll do it next. Let's be honest. There's a lot of kinky I was gonna say kinky fuckers, but there's a lot of kinky people out there, and there's a lot of curious people as well. And I love educating, I really do. It's why we have this podcast. So today we're gonna explore the neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, oxytocin, and even cortisol influence our kink encounters, sometimes in surprising ways. So, should we get down to the basics first? So, what happens in your brain during BDSM, during a BDSM scene? BDSM BDSM is more than behavior or fantasy. It's a biological event. Behind every scene lies a biochemical reaction. A cascade of molecules that shapes perception, emotion, and response. Neurochemistry bridges the physical and emotional translating translating a flogger's sting into euphoria or a whispered command into deeper surrender. These responses aren't just psychological, they are deeply neurochemical. Oh now, any kinksters that have experienced this in a scene, oh, you know how it is. You you know how it feels. It feels so good. It feels oh you're in you're in, I don't want to say heaven because like atheists and things, um, but you are in this land of bliss. That's the word. Yes, that's good. So participants often describe BDSM experiences as transcendent.

Speaker 3 11:15

Meditative. Meditative, perfect.

Speaker 1 11:22

Or meditative. That's because kink, especially when intense, can shift brain states. This isn't anecdota. This isn't merely anecdotal. Research shows that certain forms of BDSM can alter blood flow in the brain, change hormone levels, and even create states akin to runners high, deep meditation, or mild disassociation. This isn't just about pain and pleasure. It's about the full spectrum of the human conscience, the human consciousness. So enhancing play through knowledge, understanding what's happening neurologically allows players to design. To design scenes that are more emotionally attuned and physically impactful. It can also help explain aftercare needs, the drop, and why some scenes leave us high for days, while others leave us emotionally raw. Knowledge is power, and in BDSM, informed power can make all a difference. The more research, the more education you have on something is crucial. I cannot talk more, like I can't emphasize that the more knowledge you have, the more education on it, the more you do it, the more research, the more you practice, the better everything will be. And it is it is just that. So the brain's reward system in BDSM, the architecture of pleasure. When a person when a person engages in BDSM, several areas of the brain become especially active. Nucleus accumbents So can you guess? We have the nucleus accumbens, often called the brain's often called the brain's pleasure center. This structure is crucial for the processing of reward. It lights up dur I'm getting so tongue-tied. It lights up during orgasm, drug use, and yes, during intense consensual BDSM scenes. When dopamine floods this region, participants may feel euphoric, focused, and intensely present. And then the next one we have, can we guess? It's just all gonna be a quizzing game for you guys. Can you guess before I say it? So then we have the prefrontal cortex, and I feel like we've people speak quite a lot, especially with like intelligence and stuff, about the um prefrontal cortex. Um so yeah, this area governs decision making, impulse control, and social behavior. During subspace or DOM space, it's actively ignore the during subspace and leave a gap. During subspace or dom space, it's actively during subspace or dom space it's actively can decrease. Its activity can decrease, mimicking altered states of consciousness and helping players drop into a more instinctual present moment experience. So, for instance, with the cortex, the prefrontal cortex, a submissive is restrained, blindfolded, breathing slow under the dominant's voice. The logical mind, normally alert and self-conscious, begins to fade into the background. Time feels distorted. The body is hypersensitive to sound and touch. There's no mental chatter, no there's no mental chatter, no overanalyzing, no planning, just presence, sensation and surrender. That's the prefrontal cortex turning down the volume, letting the limbic system where emotion and memory live take the wheel. So then we have amygdala. Amystala The amygdala yeah, that's how it says known for processing fear and fret. This region becomes nuanced in BDSM. While typically associated with danger, the amygdala activation in a consensual kink scene may contribute to the thrill of fear play, edge play, or the eroticism of risk all within a negotiated controlled environment. Remember those. Remember the controlled negotiated environment. Remember that guys, okay? Consent. Talk about play before you do it, okay? All of this again goes into different freaking areas on a map of different podcast episodes, which we are going to talk about at some point, and we will talk about edge play. Edge play I'm gonna do a little diagram here where it's just like in my brain, where edge play is basically different people have different thoughts on what edge play is. Then the kink then the activity then the activity. Is considered risk-aware consensual kink. Yes. So basically, for example, some people see cock and ball torture. So kicking somebody in the bollocks as edge play. Some people might see electrics as edge play. Um needles definitely are edge play. When when it comes to is this person going to be okay after I do this to them? If you have to think about that, then I would say it leads into edge playing. But this is what happens when you live in Scotland and you live on a frickin' hill. So yeah. Yeah, again. We will talk about edge play at another point in a podcast episode because you can literally make so many podcast episodes about so much. Especially when it comes to um BDSM. So then we have dopamine, the kink enhancer, often misunderstood as the pleasure molecule. Dopamine is better understood as the molecule of motivation and anticipation. It drives the desire to pursue pleasure or avoid pain. In BDSM, anticipation plays a major role, wherever it's the buildup to a spanking, or the slow denial in orgasm control, or the long pause between commands. This rising tension boosts dopamine, making the making the release more profound. So a picture of a submissive kneeling, eyes lowered, waiting for the next instruction. They've been told not to move, not to speak, not to come. The dominant circle slowly dragging a riding crop along the subskin just enough to tease. Not strike. No impact play. No no no. The second stretch it feels like eternity in the silence. Then a whisper. A command. A pause. A soft chuckle. The scene hasn't even started in the traditional sense. But inside the submissive but inside the submissive sprain, dopamine is already surging. Every delayed strike, every withheld orgasm, every prolonged moment of silence increases the neurochemical tension, and with it, arousal. When the eventual impact arrives, all the orgasm is finally allowed. It's not just the act that feels good. It's the dopamine fueled buildup that makes the release feel fucking explosive. And even secret. The chemistry of craving transforms a simple act into a layered, emotionally charged experience. In this way, VDSM becomes a playground for dopamine, where skillful control of anticipation is just as important as the act itself. Ooh doesn't that just oh yeah So then we're gonna talk about serotonin, which is the mood modulator. Serotonin regulates mood, emotion, and social bonding. A balanced serotonin system contributes to the emotional safety of a scene. Interestingly, some kink practices may lower serotonin temporarily, particularly during very intense or painful scenes, which can explain mood shifts post-play, such as drop. Understanding this allows better planning of aftercare and post scene support. And again, that is another thing which we will be talking about at some point when it comes to the drop. I hate it but I love it at the same time, and I know a lot of DOMs, especially because DOMs can get dropped too, and DROMS DROMS? What is this? DOMs need aftercare too. That is a very important thing, and I will consensually spank anybody who does not understand that. Like, talk to your DOMs after a scene and be like, you need anything. Like it is a two-way street where you both look after each other, no matter the relationship, whether you're romantically involved or is platonic or it's just um just play, then still talk. Communication, come on. Come on. I swear, we're nearly half an hour in over 20 minutes, and the amount of times I've spoken about communication and how it is a must. You should all know this by now. So yeah, serotonin, it's it's the brain's thermostat. It's horrible, but it's great at the same time. While serotonin supports emotional equilibrium, some BDSM activities, especially those that involve sustained pain, humiliation, degradation, or edge play, can temporarily suppress serotonin levels. This disruption can lead to an emotional aftershock, post-scene, and sometimes experienced as subdrop or dom drop. These shifts aren't about failure or regret. They're biochemical dips that follow intense highs. And I feel like that's what a lot of people either don't know or they don't understand, and they are yet to like get their head around it or realize when this is happening, which is which is why it's so important to talk about it. A submissive undergoes so for example, a submissive undergoes a very highly emotional, kafartic degradation scene. The dominant users carefully negotiated language. Come on, negotiate, consent, talk about the scene before you do it. You have eye contact as the tone and touch to dismantle the submissive's emotional armor, pushing them into a state of raw vulnerability. The submissive feels tears well up and then fall. It's liberating, overwhelming, exhilarating. They feel seen. Hours later, they could be curled up under a blanket and the same submissive begins to feel a strange sadness, a hollow tiredness. Their body is heavy, their thoughts more fragile. They're not unhappy, they're emotionally exposed. They're very open. The serotonin drop has begun. In this moment aftercare becomes serotonin restoration. A warm embrace that says you're safe now. Gentle affirmations that anchor self worth. A soft meal, a grounding conversation, a nap. Understanding serotonin's role allows both parows both parties to normalise emotional fluctuations after a scene. It takes care it makes care it makes care an extension of play, not a correction, but a continuation of the emotional journey. So it's very, very important to understand certain things. And then we have oxytocin. Oxytocin, also like I like to call it the cuddle chemical. Oxytocin is released throughout. Oxytocin is released through touch, eye contact, and trust. Dominant submissive interactions, especially those involving bondage, petting, and intimate verbal cues, can create oxytocin surges that strengthen emotional bonds. Aftercare rituals often rely on oxytocin to restore equilibrium and reaffirm connection. So that goes, I'd say hand in hand with what we've just discussed with serotonin. Again, it's all important. It really is. So the endorphins, the body's natural opioids. Endorphins are released during pain and strenuous activity. In BDSM, they act as painkillers and euphoria inducers. Think of them as your body's way of saying you're safe and surviving this. They create the floaty feeling, some subs report, part of what's commonly called subspace. So I I have an example of this with me being submissive. So every now and again I like to get caned. And I also I was going to say you would see me at a club, but not recently. Because this uh there's a lot of toxicity in the Scotland region right now, and I did go to this club called Club Tea. However, I don't give a shit. Like, do you know that meme where it's like I don't give a shit his name was Jeff or whatnot? No, his name was Frank. I can't fucking remember. No, it was oh, what was it? It was in um in the shadows.

Speaker 3 36:17

Wait, let me Was it in the shadows?

Speaker 1 36:25

What we do in the shadows. What we do in the shadows. Oh, that was it, right. So, right, what we do in the shadows, one of my favorite series is is great. There's a meme where one of the vampires, Laszlo, he goes, um It's a lot of just a very terrible chat chat.

Speaker 2 37:13

I cannot even speak the name of the vampire that organized that monstrosity.

Speaker 3 37:18

I don't give a fuck. His name was Mike.

Speaker 2 37:20

Fucking Mike.

Speaker 1 37:24

So I'm really hoping the clip I just played actually works. Um is it better?

Speaker 2 37:33

I cannot even speak the name of the vampire that organized that monstrosity.

Speaker 1 37:38

This is too loud. How do I Okay?

Speaker 2 37:43

I cannot even speak the name of the Vampire that organized that monstrosity.

Speaker 3 37:47

I don't give a fuck. His name was Mike.

Speaker 2 37:50

Fucking Mike.

Speaker 1 37:52

So I'm really hoping that clip worked. But it's yeah, it's from one of my favorite series. And I didn't give a fuck. His name was Mike. So um there's a club currently called um Club T. They're trying to fucking revive themselves. Um, and the organizers genuinely, literally, um didn't do anything when one of their members, one of their staff members, said that they were sexually abused, and they try to hide it and sweep underneath the rug, let's say, and now they're just avoiding it and using pitiful fucking excuses, and it's ridiculous. But that's a different side note. So when I used to go there, I would get caned in front of people, and that was that was high. That was so good. Um, and you do get that floaty feeling, and you like your body, the more canes I took, the more wax, the more strikes I took, the more easier it became. Because it was like um the only thing I can the only other thing I can relate this to actually is when you're getting a tattoo. For me at least, the longer you're going with the tattoo uh needle, the easier it is to lay there, which I know sounds very fucking weird, but my body gets used to the pain quite well. Where like I've done like six hours of my back tattoo and we've took like one or two like 10-15 minute breaks, that's it. And I'm just like, yeah, let's carry on, and like that's the only other thing which I can relate it to, um, in a non-BDSM scene, but yeah, it it actually it happens, and it's amazing when it happens because when I do it with submissives, when I am the dominant, and I'm just like, you could like we have the traffic light system, and it does sometimes amaze me, and it sometimes does amaze them where we just we can go on and on because they're such in that space, and the endorphins are just they're running, man, they're running and then we have the cortisol and stress response. So cortisol, the body's primary the body's primary stress hormone, can increase during certain forms of BDSM play, particularly those involving fear, humiliation, or physical restraint. However, if the scene is consensual and psychologically safe, the body may actually downregulate cortisol after an initial spike, creating a deeply calming effect. This might explain why some submissives report BDSM as a way to manage manage anxiety or to be more grounded. Now I uh a little bit backstory as well. When I was learning all about BDSM at the ripe age of let's say doing it in person when I was like 15. Um, I knew about it when I was like 12 and stuff because of porn, and that is when kids do get like sexually curious and possibly active and things like that. It's natural, stop it. Um yeah, at the age of 15, all throughout uh say the age of 12 onwards, I used to self-harm. I used to use um razor blades, glass, whatever basically, when it came to actually inflicting um cuts on the skin. And then I had my partner at the time spank me, and like I was already kinky, even um even in general. So, like, this was the first time playing, actually playing in person BDSM, and we did a scene, and I was like, shit, this is giving me the same freaking release as when I get stressed, when I get depressed, when I get anxious, um, which leads up to me hurting myself. And I was like, oh my god, that's insane. After me getting Spanked the feeling of the release, the stress, the fact that I didn't have to do damage. No, not have to, but like you know, you get what I mean. I didn't need to do damage on myself and severely hurt myself, really, and mark myself. I I could just get some bruisings on my ass if if I really needed it, and healthfully, I want to say, that's been my journey with impact play and such. Like, once in the blue moon, I will get like a very not severe, but like a really good spanking or like caning, and it works wonders. I cannot encourage you more that if you do suffer with depression or anxiety or you're stressed, try it, try getting spanked in a safe consensual like and make sure your relationship with whoever you're doing it with is perfect because that can absolutely um impact how you're going to feel in the scene or how you're going to feel while getting spanked. And I don't just mean like I mean you you can just try it, it depends person to person. If you want to try just like a a I was gonna say a smack, but that sounds uh that sounds kind of like um abusive. If you want to try like a spank here and there, just like not within a scene, go for it, see what works for you. Because like I've done the whole elastic band on the arm and stuff, and like I've felt that spanking really does work, and oh, it I cannot encourage it enough. I really can't. So that was the first little part. And like on my uh phone, which I record on, and the recorder is like up to like forty minutes. I I will trim this down. So what have we learned so far? That behind every gasp gasp, gasp, moan, or drop of a s or drop of sweat in a scene lie in a scene lies a symphony of neurochemical activity. Your body isn't betraying you, it's responding to context, trust, and touch. By learning the neurological language of kink, we gain tools to deepen our understanding, improve communication, and enhance consent. BDSM is not simply about pain or domination. Hear that? It's about what happens when humans tap into biology biological into biology to unlock new dimensions of pleasure, intimacy, and control? So in this little next bit, we're gonna dive into subspace and DOM space. What exactly are they from a neurotypical a neurological perspective? What does the brain imaging tell us? And why does this time and why does time feel like it stops during a good scene? So let's dive in. So now we're gonna talk about understanding dopamine's function in the brain. What is dopamine? What is it really?

Speaker 6 47:57

Monoamine Monoamine.

Speaker 1 48:02

Dopamine is a monoamine neurotransmitter produced in several areas of the brain, most notably the ventral ventral ventral.

Speaker 6 48:33

Ventral tegmenta.

Speaker 1 48:37

Notably the ventral tegmenta. Area. The VTA for short.

Speaker 6 48:52

And the Substantia Nigra.

Speaker 1 49:01

Substantia nigra. It's most famous for its role in the Mesolimbic pathway. Mesolimbic pathway, also called the reward pathway, which includes the nucleus.

Speaker 5 49:36

Nucleus accumbens.

Speaker 1 49:39

Nucleus accumbens, a key region involved in pleasure and reinforcement learning. However, dopamine is not a chemical of pleasure, in the strictest sense. It is a motivational chemical, more about the pursuit of pleasure and the rewards than the actual experience of them. It increases goal-directed behavior, risk tolerance, and additional focus, which is why it plays such a major role in kink scenes that are centered around suspense, control, fear, and delayed gratification. When we fantasize about a scene, dopamine levels begin to rise. When we plan the scene, choose the toys, negotiate limits, or prep the dungeon, dopamine rises again. It continues to spike during the buildup of the scene, particularly in tease, denial, edging, or prolonged psychological play. Finally, it peaks during moments of novelty, intensity, and climax, but its real power lies in the build-up. And I feel like this is also important where I only get where if you do live with your partner, or if like you are able to message them, keep it flirty, keep them like be nice. Like there is a lot of foreplay before the bedroom. Like it can be acts of service. It can be affectionate words, eye contact, humor, emotionally attuned gestures. They're small actions, but they can flood the brain with oxytocin, priming the nervous system for trust, connection, and intimacy. In a BDSM context, this type of emotional foreplay is incredibly powerful. It sets the stage for deeper surrender and more profound control long before the scene begins. And I feel like outside the bedroom foreplay should be just what happens in general. And man, the times that it has happened um with me, it makes the experience freaking million times better when you have somebody with you, whether that be a partner or not, and like they're giving you compliments, they're doing acts of service, that they're being in tune to you. Oh and again, it doesn't have to be like flirty, it doesn't have to be teasy. You can just be there for the person. So the anticipation, tension, and erotic high in the context of BDSM, anticipation is deliberate, crafted part of the experience. A slow countdown before impact play, a whispered command followed by silence, a rope slowly coiled, then paused. Every moment of wait stretches the dopamine curve higher. This is not passive. Your brain is actively predicting rewards and calculating when they will occur. This is a neurochemical basis of edge play, orgasm denial, or consensual non-consent CNC scenes. A tightly controlled, anticipated, a tightly controlled anticipation that heightens every eventual sensation. And my god, let me just say, when you have a submissive and you tell them to wait, you tease them, you you be mean to them. It is so good, it is it is so fun, and I love giggling while I do it because it is so fun, it's so fun to see them twitch. It's so fun to see them be so freaking impatient sometimes, and they really, really want to be good as well, which is adorable. So the tease and denial, the dopam the dopamagernic Dopaminergic. The dopaminergic dance. The moment you are told not to touch, not to come, not to look, your dopamine system activates with greater force. This is because dopamine works on a principle of prediction error. When something you expect is delayed, the brain stays on high alert, heightening arousal and craving. When the release finally happens, whether it's an orgasm, impact, or command, the result feels transcendent. Not because the act alone, but because of the chemical buildup. Can you believe it? We're only on like page four of like twenty-eight. Sir the power of new kinks, dopamine thrives on novelty. In fact, brain scans show that novel novel stimuli, unfamiliar sensations, unexpected roles, unexpected fantasies trigger more dopamine than repetitive ones. This explains why trying new roles like switching from submissive to dominant can feel thrilling for some people, for some people. Not everybody. Again, everybody is completely different. Experimenting with new fantasies, wax play, chemical chemical, wax play, electrical stimulation, one of my favorites, CNC, for example, can be emotionally and physically energizing. New partners can stimulate a temporary dopamine flood known as limerence. The novelty seeking behavior is biological. Not a sign of addiction in the clinical sense, but the dopineric loop. Desire, anticipation, reward, satisfaction can encourage people to chase more intense or varied forms of play. It's important to be mindful of this, especially when dopamine-driven motivation tempts individuals to ignore emotional limits or safe words in pursuit of the next high. So dopamine submission and reward, the neuropsychological the neuropsychologically. The neuropsychology psych neuropsychological. Neuropsychology of surrender. For submissives, the act of giving up control is not just psychologically freeing, it's chemically rewarding. Dopamine plays a role in the emotional high many submissives report during and after a scene. As the submissive yields, follows commands, and endures pain with trust. Their brain anticipates reward, whether emotional, physical, or relational Relational and begins secreting dopamine. Layering dopamine with vulnerability and validation. When a submissive is held firmly in a vulnerable per position, spoken to with dominance, edged close to pain or climax, then held back. The brain's dopamine system is working over time. Every touch, pause, and directive adds to the flood. The submissive sense of being good, useful, or claimed is reinforced not only emotionally but chemically. This is part of the training loop in long-term DS dynamics. And just yeah, dynamics. Again, I'm gonna mainly be mentioning DOM subdynamics. I know that there are other dynamics, but we're gonna stick with just DS dynamics right now because it is um the most used and the most commonly um mentioned, I want to say. And it keeps everything clear, I think. So the reward of being controlled, even intense humiliation, degradation, or consensual objectification can be intensely rewarding when paired with a dominant who validates the submissive role. That validation helps pair the dopamine-driven anticipation with oxytocin and serotonin, resulting in a submissive high that physically euphoric and emotionally bonding. That's physically euphoric and emotionally bonding. So as I said before, dominants feel it too. While submissives often feel while submissives often experience dopamine through surrender, dominants may get their dopamine hit from precision, control, and success. The joy of orchestrating a scene. Seeing a submissive respond just as desired or pushing someone to their physiological limits within consent all trigger high levels of dopamine related to mastery and reward. Trust me, I feel it. Because like you get all these chemicals, and it's a lot, it's a lot, especially when you work every other day being a dominant. Like, hats off to the peeps who do 24 7, it can be exhausting. Um I think I might make this into a two-parter because I've just gone over an hour and I know I'm probably gonna cut a few bits out, but yeah, I think this might be a two-parter, guys. I'm sorry. So the ritual of dominance as reward circuit. Planning a scene, dressing for it, preparing implements, and exclude an exclude and executing a well-placed interaction activates dopamine just like preparing for a high-stakes performance. The feeling of control, of being obeyed or admired, is often neurologically as rewarding as receiving submission. So aftercare is a dopineric recollaboration, recalibration. Aftercare is not just about emotional closure. It helps stabilize the brain after the emotional high of a scene. This period is ripe for dopamine reinforcement. Gentle touch, affirming words, eye contact, blankets, feeding or hydrating the submissive, verbal debriefs, and you did so well affirmations. All of these actions signal completion to the dopamine system and tell the body the reward has arrived. Now, you also need to remember that if you're having normal vanilla sex, people can still have that um hive dopamine. Like still like still cuddle your partner after sex, like even if it's freaking vanilla, cuddle them, like caress them, compliment them, like and if they haven't came, fucking make them come, make them come. It's an order, but just come on, come on. Um yeah, like for whatever reason I've found that it's very, very common that when it comes to vanilla, I've heard and seen people just roll over afterwards, and it I'm sorry, but it is mostly the men which I've heard and seen that do this. And I've previously had a relationship where once the guy has come, shit you not, shit you not. Um, he used to leave the room so I could finish myself off, so I could come and like use the doxy and whatnot. Yeah, I know, and there was like no aftercare after that or anything like that. Um yeah, so even if it's vanilla, give, give, ask them what they want, what they need. If they do want anything, like some people with their aftercare, they want to go watch a movie, they just want to chill, they might not want cuddles. I knew one submissive who just wanted to eat a pint of ice cream afterwards, like you know, everybody's different. You just you just need to find out what works for you, and you need to also realize if there is a change to your emotions, if there is a change to your body after a scene. So, why without aftercare can why without aftercare can the drop hit harder? If the dopamine system spikes during a scene, then it is not resolved with adequate aftercare. The body can experience a sharp drop in neurological the body can experience a sharp drop in neurochemicals leading to subdrop or dom drop. This is often felt as sadness, fatigue, anxiety, or lonel or loneliness in the hours or days after a scene. Proper aftercare helps smooth that descent, letting the nerve system reset with connection and meaning. Remember it's not just your emotions talking, it's your dopamine whispering, pushing you towards pleasure, anticipation, and reward. In kink, we don't just chase sensation, we engineer chemical ecstasy and dopamine, it's our co-conspirator. So next we're gonna talk about and explore serotonin, the mood stabilizer of kink. How does it interact with dominance and submission? And why can some scenes leave you emotionally raw? So what is serotonin and what does it do? The basics of serotonin function. The basics of serotonin function all five.

Speaker 5 1:10:10

So the basics serotonin or five hydroxytryptamine.

Speaker 1 1:10:28

Or five hydroxyptonine.

Speaker 5 1:10:37

Five hydroxytryptamine.

Speaker 1 1:10:40

Or five hydroxytryptamine, that was difficult to say. Um in short, five H T is a neurotransmitter produced mainly in the gut. Yep. Around ninety percent of it, but also synthesized in the brainstem, particularly in the raphy nuclei. The rafy nuclei. It plays crucial roles in regulating mood and emotional stability, social behavior and bonding, sleepadian. Circadian rhythm, impulse control, and anxiety reduction. I I feel like anytime I talk about chemicals in the brain, I just think ADHD. But we will do an episode, I'm sure, about ADHD. Well, actually, we did do um previous episodes about I think it was ADHD and autism and everything like that. In the Holy Trinity of Kink, I think it was. I might have renamed it to be fair. It was called the Holy Trinity of Kink, but let me just see what I renamed it to. Oh no, I kept it to Holy Trinity of Kink because I actually really did like that name. And I couldn't actually come up with anything um else really that that beat the Holy Trinity of Kink. So in BDSM, serotonin acts as a brake system where dopamine accelerates arousal and anticipation, serotonin reigns it in, ensuring the emotional and physiological and psychological experience stays within a manageable, safe and rewarding range. Serotonin and emotional processing in BDSM. The feelings of calm, satisfaction, and safety many people experience after a scene are partly due to serotonin. It helps shift the nerve system out of a high alert arousal mode, often dominated by dopamine and adrenaline, and into a regenerative state. This is why submissives often describe aftercare as tranquil and grounding. It's the serotonin setting in. So, like, there's a lot of freaking chemicals with aftercare and everything. Everything. There is so much going on inside the brain and the body, and oh my gosh. So Serotonin's influence on control and power dynamics, the psychological cost of intensity, scenes involving impact, humiliation, degradation, fear, or emotional exposure require participants to hold intense emotional energy. Whether it's a dominant, carefully orchestrating pain or a submissive enduring and responding, the emotional burden is real. Without serotonin, that burden can become overwhelming. And for dominance, serotonin functions as an emotional anchor. During scenes that involve administering pain, restraint, or power imbalance. Serotonin helps maintain a grounded, empathic presence. It tempers potential guilt or hyper-responsibility that can follow intense scenes, especially for newer dominants who are learning to manage emotional aftershocks of consensual power. Like if it's especially if it's all new to you, like it can feel like you get hit with a train. And again, it's all about understanding your your own body and yourself is very, very important. For submissive serotonin offers internal containment of power, of powerful emotions like fear, release.

Speaker 3 1:16:03

Catharsis.

Speaker 1 1:16:05

Catharsis and surrender. It ensures that these emotional surges don't escalate into pain into panic, disassociation or despair. After all, BDSM can take a submissive to the edge of return and brings them back to safety. The chemistry of trust. Studies have shown that higher serotonin levels are correlated with social trust. In BDSM, where vulnerability is essential. Serotonin helps create and maintain the emotional scaffolding of that vulnerability. It's the chemical that tells your brain, I'm safe here. When the submissive makes eye contact with their dominant and feels calm, that's serotonin. When the dominant senses the submissive's nonverbal cues and responds with care, that attunement is supported by serotonin. In long-term dominant submissive relationships, serotonin plays an important role in emotional consistency. It supports secure attachment over time. Reduced emotional volatility. Volatility during and after scenes, conflict resolution and a trust recovery is if things go a different way. Unlike dopamine which wants novelty, serotonin wants stability. That makes it essential for building sustainability building sustainable, emotionally rich power dynamics. Emotional vulnerability and serotonin recovery. The submissives post-sene stayed after a scene, many submissives feel a cocktail of exhaustion Extor Exhaustion Extra Exhaustion Exhausted Exhaustion Bliss Confused Confusion and emotional openness. Without proper regulation, this can spiral into what's known as subdrop, a depressive or anxious crash. Serotonin helps recenter emotional perception, reduce sensitivity to pain or rejection, rebuild feelings of connection and worth. So healing through serotonin release. Activities that stimulate serotonin, like cuddling, warm baths, soft music, verbal reassurance and gentle touch are commonly part of aftercare for a reason. They facilitate emotional regulation. That reintegration reintegration. Reintegration, allowing the submissive to process the seam without psychological injury. When the serotonin is disrupted, if someone is under chronic stress, depression, or sleep deprivation, their serotonin levels may be low. This can make intense BDSM feel emotionally riskier with less resistance afterwards.

Speaker 6 1:21:16

Resilience.

Speaker 1 1:21:21

This is why mental health context is essential in scene negotiation. It's not just about consent, but about capability. So serotonin in the dominance emotional journey. Post scene guilt and emotional monitoring. Some dominants, especially newer ones, or those involved in emotional edge play may experience DOM drop, a wave of guilt, fear, or self-doubt after a scene. Serotonin is a natural buffer against these feelings. It helps regulate empathic response to the submissive vulnerability, reappraisal of one's own behavior during the scene, ongoing emotional presence in the aftercare phase. A serotonin stable dominant is often perceived as calm, reliable, or emotionally consistent. These qualities make a submissive feel safer, which in turn increases oxytocin and serotonin for both parties. It's a chemical feedback loop of trust and care. How to support serotonin production in kinky contacts? Certain behaviors support healthy serotonin production and release. Touch and intimacy, skin on skin contact, sunlight exposure helps regulate serotonin via vitamin D, regular sleep patterns vital for serotonin synthesis. I think that says check.

Speaker 2 1:23:31

Synthesis.

Speaker 1 1:23:33

Synthesis. Positive affirmations and gratitude. Emotional habits that promote serotonin. So you such a good little fuck talk. No, am I I mean yeah? Um also exercise and movement, especially when you propagate the body moving and like stretching and all that stuff. It's weird to say, but it works. It's a scene design for emotional safety. Scene planning that incorporates emotional peaks and regulated descent can allow serotonin to function. Optimally optimally. Optimally. So you can use slow builds and gentle landings, integrate praise, eye contact, affirming language, create rituals around aftercare that allow serotonin and oxytocin to rebuild Equilibrium. Equilibrium. Feel yourself belong or crave that post scene cuddle. We're going to explore the biochemical underpinnings of intimacy and how oxytocin weaves through every command, touch and sigh. Oxytocin is a peptide. Peptide is a peptid hormone and neuropeptide.

Speaker 6 1:28:58

Neuropeptide.

Speaker 1 1:29:01

A neuropeptide produced in hypothalamus. In the hypothalamus and released into the bloodstream by posterior pituitary gland. It's released during physical touch, like it's released during physical touch, like hugging, kissing, stroking, and sexual intimacy, orgasm, childbirth, and breastfeeding. Acts of kindness, empathy, and nonverbal communication. Nonverbal connection. Oxytocin influences parts of the brain tied to emotional regulation, memory encoding, and social reward. In BDSM, it acts like a social glue, deepening the psychological bond between dominant and submissive, and making emotional vulnerability feel not only tolerable tolerable, but desirable. So oxytocin in the scene creating emotional safety. Rituals and connection. BDSM often involves rituals, greetings, colours, titles, protocol. These rituals aren't just performative. They simulate oxytocin by creating safety, predictability, and emotional symbolism. A submissive being called good girl, good boy, pet or owned may experience a rush of oxytocin due to their affirmation of belonging. Small elements like lingering eye contact, a dominant steady voice, a submissive whispered consent can generate oxytocin surges. The human brain can exquisitely exquisitely is exquisitely sensitive to these cues. And in a BDSM context where vulnerability is present, they become even more potent. During the scene, oxytocin keeps both parties emotionally grounded. It balances the intensity of endorphins and adrenaline, allowing for emotional intimacy within high stress. For the submissive, it provides a sense of being held, even when physically restrained. For the dominant, it reinforces empath. It reinforces empathy and protective instincts. Now oxytocin and trust in power exchange. Surrender and attachment. The act of surrendering control is a physiological risk. It demands trust, openness, and emotional courage. Oxytocin is the brain's way of rewarding this trust. When a submissive allows themselves to be tied, to be slapped, or ordered, and feels emotionally safe doing so, the resulting oxytocin reinforces that the dominant is trustworthy, associates submission with emotional security, fosters longer-term attachment to that partner. Dominants also release oxytocin, especially during nurturing acts, holding a submissive, brushing the hair, stroking a cheek, or offering affirmations post scene all activate oxytocin in the dominant, creating a look that up.

Speaker 3 1:36:57

I think reciprocal.

Speaker 1 1:37:11

Reciprocal bond. This can be particularly profound in DOMs who tee who lean toward a caretaker or protector style of dominance. So the aftercare as a biochemical ritual. Why why does aftercare matter so much? Why? After a scene, the body can be flooded with cortisol and exhausted from adrenaline. The brain is hungry for closure, care, and connection. Oxytocin is the hormone that soothes the nerve system, mitigates the drop, signals the body that it is safe again. And what does actually trigger oxytocin in aftercare? Well, it's similar to the rest, really. Cuddles under a blanket, soft eye contact, and affirming words. Like you're safe. You did so well. And again, feeding or giving them water, gentle strokes, brushing hair, holding hands, laying chest to chest. Each of these behaviors trigger the oxytocin release, not just as comfort, but as recovery. It literally heals the emotional openness that the scene created. Building attachment through aftercare. Over time, regular oxytocin release in aftercare cements long-term emotional bonds. This is why some play partners feel bonded, feeling that lingers for days. Feel a bonded feeling that lingers for days or even permanently. Oxytocin enhances memory encoding of emotional experiences, meaning scenes that end with high oxytocin are more likely to be recalled as meaningful and positive. The risks of missing oxytocin, if aftercare is absent or inadequate, the brain may be left high on cortisol with no oxytocin to balance it. This can lead to feeling abandoned, emotional crash or drop, dissociation or shame, misinterpretation of the scene's meanings. Not good stuff, I'll tell you that. So the trauma and attachment sensitivity. For individuals with a history of attachment trauma or emotional neglect, the oxytocin system may be hypersensitive or underdeveloped. This can make the emotional effects of scenes more intense. Or ignore that all for better or for worse. Understanding this allows partners to tailor aftercare and check-ins more compassionately. Now, for me, because of my trauma, I definitely like a lot of checkups, I definitely like a lot of cuddles, I definitely like a lot of um affirming words and all that stuff. Absolutely. So the neurobiologically of devotion. In long-term dynamics, oxytocin oxytocin contributes to secure emotional attachment, loyalty and desire to please or protect, comfort with ritual, routine, and hierarchy. This hormone literally rewards relational. Because oxytocin works between scenes during shared meals, rituals, and even texting throughout the day. Now, now don't forget. I didn't forget about the polyamory play partners and different bonds. And it will be and it will be this long. Um As part one. So oxytocin is not always exclusive. It can form bonds with multiple partners, especially when each is emotionally attuned and safe. However, overlapping oxytocin bonds can lead to emotional entanglement, jealousy, or confusion if not managed with clarity and consent. Knowing that oxytocin is at play allows partners to plan emotional boundaries with neurochemistry in mind. It reminds us that even in scenes of darkness, fear, or chaos, we're not alone. We are wired to connect. And when we honor that connection, we care and when we honor that connection with care and presence, BDSM becomes not just a game, but a deeply human form of love. So in the next part two, because as I said, this has gone on for so long. In the next episode, we're gonna talk about cortisol, the stress hormone. What happens when the body experiences fear, pain, or psychological intensity, or consens or consensuality or consensually? I'm just gonna double-triple check that consensually, even consensually. How does BDSM navigate the line between stress and healing? We're gonna look at Cort Soul's dual role in survival and recovery and how it fits into the dance of kink. So yeah, this has been part one. I know it's been a long one, but um like you can't like do a short episode on chemicals, like you just can't, like we're we're like halfway through. It's great. I think I have like 10 pages left, which is good, which is good. But yeah, I really hope you guys have enjoyed this episode with me. I certainly have enjoyed it. I cannot wait. Um, well, I can wait to edit this, but I can't at the same time because it's gonna take me so long. I think this is the longest podcast episode I've done. It's nearly two hours long. Um, but obviously, when I'm gonna edit it, I think it's probably gonna go to an hour 20, but we'll see. I'm talking to myself in the future and you guys in the future. But yeah, if you love the podcast, then please put a review on Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening. If you um want to hear a topic, please shoot me a message. Tell me, tell me, tell me. I have a ton of topics which I want to do, but I absolutely love suggestions. I've already got a good few suggestions loaded up, waiting and ready for the right time. But yeah, thank you so so much. If you want to support the podcast, that would be incredibly grateful. However, that may be, you could donate or you could follow us, you could give a review, you could like us, that would be absolutely awesome. And yeah, this has been Behind the Bad Podcast with me, Paulson, Victoria. I hope you've enjoyed this episode.

unknown 1:47:37

Bye.