Speaker 1: 0:00

whoo hi, welcome to behind the pattern podcast with me. Paulson Victoria. I am actually really nervous for this episode. Uh, um, yeah, so this. This is very raw, very raw right now. Why am I so nervous doing this episode? I shouldn't be. I've been really hyped to talk about it extremely and I can't wait to get it in the media and just all of the socials and to speak wherever I can speak about this, wherever I can speak about this. Now you probably hear me cry at some point. Yeah, so, as you can see from the video title, I'm a criminal for safety. So with this episode it's gonna be the rawest I've ever done.

Speaker 1: 1:11

And today I'm not speaking to you as a dominatrix, not as a podcast host, not even as a sex worker, and speaking as a woman who was charged with brothel keeping for trying to stay safe, for trying to survive and existing in a country that criminalizes care. Yeah, I was raided. So last year in february no, no, no. Let me take this back even further. Two years ago, I bought a property and no, it doesn't matter if you buy or if you rent, you can still get raided. I bought a property. I made it into a beautiful dungeon. I had essentially three bedrooms and one was a feminization room, one was split down the middle medical and school room and the other one, which was downstairs, was a just dungeon room. It had so much fun stuff it really did and yeah, I'm gonna try not cry and it lasted for about a year and it lasted for about a year.

Speaker 1: 2:48

I would teach from there. I loved doing my workshops. I taught a needle workshop because, um, I love needles, I absolutely do, and I love them that much that I'm also a certified piercer and I did sounding workshops as well. That was a part of that and impact workshops and electrical workshops and it was very, very educational, very, which is very important in any aspect of like knowing about yourself or what you're gonna do to others. So, yeah, as well as that, I worked from there and I also hired out and, yeah, it was a safe place. It had a ring doorbell so you could see who was coming and going and if anything did happen, we had a face. If you didn't take a deposit or, um, something like that. If you had, if you didn't screen a client, there was a face so that you could go off of that. And there was condoms, there was lube, there was.

Speaker 1: 4:32

It was such a safe and beautiful place and I put my heart and soul into it and it makes me cry so much whenever I think about it because I'm so contained to just one room now and I don't like that. I don't like that one bit and it really sucks. Coming into even my Wii room, which I use for work and personal Even coming in Still makes me sad, even though it's beautiful. It's got flowers and like ceiling mirrors and all my toys Well, not all my toys, because they have a good portion, at least 98% in the garage and it's just there collecting dust and probably mould, because I don't want to sell it, because it's all my babies. It really is.

Speaker 1: 5:52

And it's like when you're somebody like me who loves PDSM and it is your life, it is your lifestyle, not to mention your job when you have had it all, where you're literally you have a place to teach people and you love teaching and you offer like mentorships and teaching other people. That was such a big goal of mine because I find that not just in the industry but in general in life, there is such a lack of education, especially when it comes to how to do things safely, and I can't do that now, and well, if I do, I would have to rent somewhere else, and I don't really want that, if I'm honest, because it gives such a completely different feel from my own place, and not only just giving a safe space to other people, but for a safe space for myself and neurodivergent people. The amount of compliments I got I think there was only one negative compliment I ever got about my dungeon, which was because I'm a maximalist. There was always something on a wall and that was the only negative that somebody gave me was that it was too much. There was so many things to look at Like literally, if I gave you a tour of my dungeon then it would take like at least 45 minutes because there was so much and I could talk about every single little thing.

Speaker 1: 7:52

And it got to a point where I was like, what do I actually want in my dungeon? Like I would have subs ask like, oh, could I buy you something for the dungeon? And I was like I don't know what I want. I've got everything that I could possibly want in my dungeon and, yeah, having being confined to a wee room and having having clients ask if I do medical play. I mean, yes, I do, but you'll be sitting on a bed and not in stirrups or on a medical bench chair table. That's it. That's really sad and it makes me depressed. I love love, I love my job, but when you've reached the highest, not necessarily you could go, but like really fucking proud of what you've achieved, and then it all comes crashing down.

Speaker 1: 9:01

Yeah, so we're going to begin last year February, I want to say 24th, 27th, I can't quite remember. I have the court papers right in front of me because I do want to read a few bits. I will be using my work name, victoria. I don't really think it's necessary to use my real name or anything like that. I don't mind if I'm sure at some point I will come out with my real name. I just it's not a necessity, it's not a need.

Speaker 1: 9:52

But yeah, I was raided. So I had a client due at 10am and at 9.50am there was a knock at the door. It was a very loud, loud knock at the door and I honestly can't remember if they said anything. But through the frosted glass I saw high-vis jackets and something just clicked in my head and I texted my partner at the time. I was like the police are here. They're here and I just froze. I didn't really know what to do. I quickly got dressed because I was in my work clothes and answered the door. To my surprise there was at least 20 officers and they had a battering ram. And to think that if I was a few seconds late that they would have rammed my door down.

Speaker 1: 11:17

They came in with force, might I add, where all the officers basically just clambered in and all you heard was officers saying is anybody here? Is anybody inside? And I'm just like no, nobody's here. And they were shouting upstairs. They were shouting in all the rooms and it's like what I have? Oh, I haven't done anything wrong.

Speaker 1: 11:49

Yet I instantly felt like a criminal, having so many officers just barge their way in to somewhere that was so sacred to me and my second home, and then thinking that I'm like harboring people or trafficking people, because why were? Why else would they shout, is anybody here? So I instantly know they've been on my website, because I have a calendar on my website showing when the dungeon is booked. So they didn't know if it was going to be me or somebody else. I mean, thank God it was me. Thank God it was me. I would have been so mortified if it was somebody else Like I was shaken.

Speaker 1: 13:04

I was so trying not to cry instantly as officer Leroy, uh, read me my rights and he asked me why I was there. Why does he think he was there, why do I think he was there and why do I think he was there? And I said I don't know. And so he read my rights and honestly, I was shocked when he read you're being charged with brothel keeping. I was like wow, really that it shocked me. Honestly, it did Me Brothel keeping. Like I wasn't running a brothel, I wasn't.

Speaker 1: 14:11

When you think of brothel, you think of trafficked women, you think somebody who is coerced into sex work well, into sex trafficking, sorry, because sex work and sex trafficking is different. But like, yeah, you think of somebody who is forced into sex trafficking. And he took my phone and he asked if I was expecting a client. Of course I was. He already knew the answer and so I said yes. And then he asked Do you think your client would turn up if he saw all these officers? Would he stay or would he run? And I said I don't know, I didn't realize that't know what happened, because I don't know the full story of what happened with that client and I don't know if I can speak on certain things, if it might be brought up again, because I know it's all been dismissed. But I still have to be careful, I think, because just because it's been dismissed doesn't mean they can't bring things up again. I'm not too sure if they would need new evidence or to build a new investigation. I'm not so sure. But I will just be telling what I know and my story. They apparently took my client out the car, handcuffed him to the hood of the car and asked him if I was there, if he was there for sexual services. He allegedly replied with no, which if the police officers actually looked at my phone, there would be evidence there to prove that statement, that he actually wasn't there for sexual services at all. But we will come back to that later on.

Speaker 1: 16:56

This is going to be quite a long podcast episode and it might be a two-parter Because there is quite a bit to this. So we're still in my dungeon and they asked all my details. You know the usual my name, date of birth, where I live and Actually they didn't ask where I live. I don't think they knew at first where I lived. I think they assumed that I lived there. This is this is a common factor that the lack of information they actually had about me and why I'm able to speak out today about this. So they even asked about my child, their age, their name, all that stuff. They took everything. They took my phone, my name, my number.

Speaker 1: 18:04

It wasn't humorous, but you could see people, all the police officers coming in and they would have had stories to tell afterwards about wow, the dicks. I had a wall of dicks, I still do, but it's just less dicks. I had a wall of dicks, I still do, but it's just less dicks. And like I would have liked to know what they were all thinking, because you know they. Oh, one of the questions they asked was is there any money? And I was like no, no. So I'm trying to recall exactly how it was, because they said they weren't going to handcuff me and they didn't. The officer joked about how I wouldn't be able to run away and yeah, that wasn't great, I mean, they still held my arms and proceeded to walk me out of my property and put me in the back of a riot van.

Speaker 1: 19:26

Now, let's just think about this for a second. Even if you were being trafficked to be put into a riot van. That is so dehumanising and to think you've went through so much trauma. You're then treated like a criminal. When you're a trafficking victim that is messed up and with me just being in the back of that van, I cried. I cried quite a bit because I, like it was unbelievable in what was happening. It's one of those where it's like, wow, this is, this is really happening to me.

Speaker 1: 20:20

I'm like what did it matter that I wasn't in handcuffs? I was still being paraded around like a villain. All my neighbors saw me a riot van, as if I was dangerous, as if I was violent, as if I hadn't spent the morning just brushing my teeth and replying to client messages. Do you know what that does to someone? To have somebody's hands on my arms just in case I do run or just to show that you know I'm the one who's going to be in jail. I'm the villain here, out of my own flat and to be locked in a van used for riots, treated like a threat for being a woman who wanted to work safely.

Speaker 1: 21:24

What did they gain from that? Genuinely the worst thing about it was that I kissed my kid goodbye before I went to work was that I kissed my kid goodbye before I went to work and you know you don't expect to be taken into a riot van to space and honestly I hope that police officer realized that it was a safe space, that how inclusive it was and how beautiful it was and welcoming, in fact. I remember I'll see if I can find it in the files that it does say that it looked welcoming. In my court report, in my um report of being charged, it fucking says that it looked welcoming. I'm gonna edit out sniffles. So what does this message send to other sex workers, to women like me? That safety is criminal, that choosing not to work alone is a crime, that your body, your survival, your agency, none of that matters if it threatens the status quo.

Speaker 1: 23:08

It was so humiliating. I felt like my insides were on display. All I'd done was try to work without risking my life. But they made me feel like I was running some fucking empire of human trafficking or whatever they thought they were going to find. Like ha ha ha, I am a massive kingpin and somebody of the fucking cartel. Like what? What this whole episode is going to show how they did not do any due diligence and how they just did this solely for control and power. I wasn't running a brothel, I was working. I was trying not to get raped, trying not to get murdered, not to get isolated, but to the UK and to other countries in the world that made me a criminal, countries in the world that made me a criminal. I'm crying, my lashes are coming out. That's not good.

Speaker 1: 24:31

So so they took me to the police station. They were like oh, it's the back entrance, don't worry. I'm like, oh, thanks, that makes it even better. Entrance, don't worry. I'm like, oh, thanks, that makes it even better. Not going the front entrance where other people can see. Like that made any difference and went in.

Speaker 1: 24:48

They asked once again all my information. So they typed into the computer. They asked if I had any allergies, which I thought was kind of cool. I tried to make light humor. Um, I was patted down. I had to take my shoes off, which was great. I just remember giving them my information and just crying my eyes out because it I have some trauma because a family member of mine, my dad, he actually went to prison and so it was like my dad, who is a criminal. It made me feel no different, like they're treating me like a criminal. My dad was a criminal, so what the fuck? I'm doing this for my safety. Why does that make me a criminal? So why does that make me a criminal?

Speaker 1: 25:58

So I got taken to the cells, had to take my shoes off outside the cells you're not allowed fucking shoes. I don't know, maybe you hang yourself with shoelaces, I don't know what. From, honestly, because it was a very gray small room. Um, there was a thin mat on the floor. Thankfully, I was given a blanket, a very fucking thin one, and I remember there was like crystallized windows. I don't know what they're called, but there was like two little ones, or it was just one, but they didn't open or anything. It lit in the littlest of light and there was just one that was normal light and there was just one that was normal, um, non-hanging lights.

Speaker 1: 27:03

And then there was the most dehumidizing thing ever. There was a metal toilet which I ended up using and I had to ask for toilet paper, which was fucking horrible. Honestly, I've never been that low in my life where I've had to ask somebody for toilet paper, to ask permission to take a shit. And I'm trying to add humor into this because it is depressing to think, oh, I need to go for a piss buzz, can I get some toilet paper please, thanks. And I can't remember if they watched when I flush. It was weird.

Speaker 1: 27:49

But the only good things I can say is that they fed me. I was there for six hours and they fed me. I had one meal, I believe it was. I think it was like lasagna, I'm not too sure. I'm probably saying that because I really like lasagna, but it was something to eat, um, to eat. It was so cold in those four little walls and all you could hear was like the fucking light. That was it, and other people kicking and screaming and the other containment. So it was only like one other person.

Speaker 1: 28:45

But I was alone, not knowing what was going on, not knowing if my partner at the time was taken into custody and what had happened to my daughter. That was the terrifying part. I had no idea what was going on on the outside. They wouldn't tell me anything. So I was just waiting for six hours, supposedly while they prepared to interview me. They needed to collect evidence, collect evidence of what I thought to myself. They'll myself don't realize that I'm not this human trafficker like I'm not hurting no one, I'm not the bad guy here and I thought maybe I could explain, maybe I could actually reason with them and like, explain like my whole work and how I love it. And, like you know, I'm not coercing anybody into it. There was no exploitation whatsoever for the brief moments.

Speaker 1: 29:44

The officers came to my cells to check on me. I asked the lead officer, officer Leroy, what am I going to do? How am I going to pay my bills? And this heartless son of a bitch, while I'm crying, looks me dead in the eyes and goes I guess your pockets won't be so flush. What the actual fuck? You are the lead investigator here and that is what you fucking say. If I could sue them, I bloody well would. That was the most inhuman thing you could have said to me at that time. Just in fucking general, you've just taken away my income, you've just taken away my job. I don't know what is going to happen after this. I have a child to provide for, and that is the fucking thing you say.

Speaker 1: 31:12

Disgusting, absolutely disgusting, the fact that somebody can bravely, proudly say that to somebody who has basically just lost their job and they don't know what they're going to do in the future and they don't know what the future looks like. Never mind saying that to a mother who has a child to feed. I hope you don't sleep well. I really hope that the fact that me crying Didn't affect you, the fact that I have a kid didn't affect you. That's messed up. You had no sympathy. You were emotionless and heartless and that quote of what you said has stuck with me for so long and I'm saying it as if like he's listening, but I want him to listen when I'm on the news at some point, all my stories getting shared. However it will be shared.

Speaker 1: 32:20

I want Officer L leroy to know that I feared so much for myself and for my child and what our future's gonna look like. All because this stupid police officer didn't do his due diligence in actually figuring out if I was a fucking villain, if I was exploiting somebody, if I was trafficking somebody, when it was very clear that I fucking wasn't. And now he has ruined a part of my life Drastically and now I have PTSD. And why the fuck should I trust the police after this? This is why so many women, never mind sex workers, come forward because of that emotionless, heartless attitude you have. And after that I realised they didn't care. They didn't care at all about me. They didn't care about my safety. They didn't care about whether I was being forced or I was forcing somebody, or about if somebody was in danger. They were here for power and control and to punish.

Speaker 1: 34:08

A little bit before that, officer Leroy asked for my pin on my phone and he said if I gave it to him as soon as possible, this would be over and done with and I would get my phone back sooner. I was naive enough to believe him and I gave him my pin. Do not ever do that't. Don't give the police any assistance whatsoever. They're not there to help you, especially if you're a sex worker. They're not on your side.

Speaker 1: 34:49

Eventually, I was brought into a room. There was officer Leroy who interviewed me, and then there was a. I can't remember exactly her name or, uh, what her exact job was, but she was there to oversee officer leroy questioning me. And I'm just reading it. Um, reading the summary of evidence, the hallway appeared to act as a form of welcome area, with house rules and business cards scattered on the dresser, with posters advertising events and themed nights such as feet and anal night, immediately noticeable. Each room had a clear theme in quote marks and appeared to specialize in more fetishized aspect of sexual acts, including a medical style room, an area blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No other persons were within the property at this time.

Speaker 1: 35:54

It was immediately clear at attending offices that my dungeon was equipped solely for the purpose of recreational sex. And yes, it says here that apparently, the client stated that he was at my property for vaginal sex over the period of one hour and that he was paying 250 pounds in advance, which, once again, I can prove that was wrong. I can actually prove that this is incorrect. I can prove that, unless they've wiped my phone and the messages, I can fucking prove this and I can prove it on Twitter. I can prove that I wasn't going to have sex with this client, that I wasn't going to have sex with this client. Now, bear in mind paying for sex is not illegal. It's not Having a sex worker at the property you're at, whether that be at the same time or not at the same time. That's the illegal part. So one thing which I would have asked for if this went to court which it didn't, I would have asked for of evidence, which I I would have loved to see the actual evidence genuinely it's what I would have said in court where it's like he wasn't actually there for sex at all. So I know they're lying in this summary of evidence, which is absolutely shocking to see that the police have actually lied and the fact that I've got evidence to back up that he wasn't there for sex.

Speaker 1: 38:09

So the items they took, which I can get back after three months they took multiple Alexas. They actually took lube and they took multiple condoms pretty much every single condom in my dungeon. So not only did the police knowingly take away items which could be used for safety, which are used for safety, they they took lube. Now I'm just gonna make a joke and say they took lube because they needed it for themselves, but you know they also took the house rules. They also took some business cards and they took my piercing certificate, which was up on the wall. Um, I love that they took my piercing certificate honestly, because it just goes to show that I do care about the craft enough to pay for a course and to learn by actual other professionals into how to do things safely. So thank you for that. And they took a notebook, which I do believe, is a notebook which was for my birthday, where everybody who was there wrote a happy birthday fucking note in it, a few nice words. So that was good. And of course they took my phone. In no way, shape or form did they find any money or they found anything which was evidence of trafficking or coercion or anything like that. Please bear that in mind.

Speaker 1: 40:08

They ended up interviewing other sex workers. They interviewed anybody that had hired the venue. They also interviewed my partner at the time. But, by the way, if you go into, if the police want you to go into the police station, don't bring your phone. They will try and confiscate it, because that's what they did try to do with my partner at the time. Well, my ex, I should say now.

Speaker 1: 40:44

So I'm gonna read out the questions that they gave me. So they asked if I wanted a solicitor um consultation, which I said yes to, and my solicitor said say no comment for everything. And I was like yes, sir, yeah, witness, detective Constable Cooper, and Leroy Wishart was the police officer in charge, was the police officer in charge. So I can't quite remember exactly what the questions were because, for whatever reason, um, they didn't, they couldn't be bothered to write in their summary of evidence what the full question was. So they asked uh, it says impact. Can't remember that one. Um, they asked about family friends. They asked about, I could only assume wiston wiston hospital, where I was born. I don't know why.

Speaker 1: 41:50

They asked about my relationships. They asked what sexuality I am. They asked about marriage, my income, my job, bank accounts. Who had access to my bank accounts if I drank? What type of phone I had, what was my PIN number? Who had access to my phone? Who had access to my devices? What devices do I use? What social media do I use? What's my average day look like and how much do I socialise? What vehicles do I own and can I describe the vehicles?

Speaker 1: 42:43

They asked me about my dungeon. They asked me to describe it. They asked me who owned it. They asked me who lives there. They asked me who has access. Who has keys, lives there? They ask me who has access, who has keys. They ask me about other sex workers. They ask me about the relationship with other sex workers. They ask me about post and victoria. They ask me who has control over finances and if I know people by other names. So also, essentially, they did out other sex workers with their real names as well. They asked me about the key safe because we had the lockbox. I say we, I had a lockbox. They asked me do I go by mistress? Do I have any pseudonyms?

Speaker 1: 43:43

They asked me about social media, about Twitter accounts, if anybody has access to them, and they pulled up my websites. They pulled up my websites. They pulled up the podcast, because I had a very similar podcast with another sex worker at the time. Um, they asked details of the podcast. They asked about the website. They asked about access to the podcast. Like the podcast somehow is a trafficking ring, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 44:14

They asked if it was used for sex work. They asked about the calendar. They asked about my rates and my professional rates. They asked if I was a prostitute. They asked if it was a brothel. They asked if my partner at the time assisted or assisted with the podcast, if any of certain sex workers used the property. Do they pay, Do they assist? And they didn't show me anything apart from the guidebook which told you how to safely do things and where the exits were and how to do the windows and all that stuff. Um, they showed me that they didn't show me anything else. They showed me my guidebook which had sex worker dungeon rates. That was very clearly in the book and I'm just reading off of the sheet what it says um, how I charged people.

Speaker 1: 45:32

Um, did I get any messages in the morning if there was anybody else in the property, if there was any other clients, if there was any condoms? And they asked me about a letter, and I do believe the letter that they're on about is actually a letter from a submissive, which I like to keep keepsakes sometimes with certain submissives. And this submissive wrote me a letter thanking me and saying that he enjoyed the session and really enjoys, you know, time together and things like that. And I remember that he asked me is there anything that you want to say? And I cried and I said why aren't you actually going after the real villains? And he didn't reply and so I was taken back to my cell. I had to wait for them to be done, with all the paperwork and everything, and then I was out on bail.

Speaker 1: 46:46

Now, in bail I couldn't speak to anybody who the police talked to because they were classed as witnesses. So I couldn't speak to any sex workers. Legally I couldn't. I couldn't speak to anybody who had rented, who had been questioned by the police. I couldn't speak to any clients who had been questioned by the police either. If you had contact with the police, I couldn't speak to any clients who had been questioned by the police either. If you had contact with the police, I couldn't talk to you.

Speaker 1: 47:19

Now, one thing in the summary Of evidence Is that there is no Prose In this. So I know For a fact that there was things said about me by other people who were interviewed where it went in my favor. Now, for whatever, none of that is documented and I really find that funny that none of that is documented. Now, keep in mind there is statements from people who were interviewed, were interviewed, but none of that says that I'm trafficking, exploiting, coercing. None of that says that I'm a pimp or a brothel keeper. None of that says that I'm a bad person. So bear that in mind that the police decided in this evidence of summary not to write the interviews they conducted that went in my favor into this summary of evidence. They decided not to write anything that went in my favor like properly in my favor into this summary of evidence where people said that I was a nice person and what not. Just bear that in mind please. That was horrible. I don't like Reliving it, but but it's something I have to and it's a story which I really want to get out there.

Speaker 1: 49:54

You think the police are there to protect you, to understand you, to help you. Well, I think I'm honest and if you explain you're working together for safety or you hire the place out, if you explain theoretically, if you explain that you're working together or hiring a place out for safety or just using somewhere where you're allowed to be if that makes any sense, like a landlord knows what you're doing there or an airbnb host knows, and they have created that safe space for you to do that, and you're not being trafficked and you're not forcing anyone, you think the police would see it. You think they'll dust off their hands and go shit, we've made a mistake. But they don't, because that's not what they're trained to look for. They're not there to protect you. They're there to enforce a system that sees sex workers as disposable. And when you're inside that cell, you realise you're not a person to them. You're a file, an offensive code, a statistic, a statistic to be tallied and stamped and shoved into the system. Eventually they let me go. No handcuffs, no fucking apology, nothing, just silence.

Speaker 1: 51:45

But I walked out knowing one thing for sure this isn't just about me. This was a pattern, a system, a calculated effort to keep sex workers scared, isolated and punished for surviving. See, I have a criminal record now I'm on the system. They took my fingerprints, they took swabs of my cheeks. They have my DNA, they have my picture. They have my DNA, they have my picture. I'm on there and that is going to stop me from exiting sex work, if I ever choose to. Because if my employer future employer looks up, does a background check, a dbs record will show up, and a dbs is a report detailing an individual's criminal history, including convictions, cautions and other relevant information, as held by the disclosure and barring service, dbs. So, yeah, thanks for that police. You have now ensured that I can't really exit because I won't be able to get quote marks a normal job.

Speaker 1: 53:07

In all honesty, I wanted this to continue. I wanted this to continue. I wanted it to go to court. I wanted to scream from the rooftops and I wanted to go in front of a jury or a judge, whoever it may be, and plead my case that we need sex workers, that us, as sex workers want and need decriminalization. We don't want legalization, we don't want criminalization, we don't want a nordic model, we want decriminalization.

Speaker 1: 53:47

Now I want to read to you what I would have said. What I would have said because I only got the piece of paper, the procreator fiscal not even a week ago. And it reads I have now reviewed the case and have decided, based on the current information available so the evidence to take no further action in the case against you at this time. Somebody looked at the evidence and went shit. The police are in for an ass kicking if this lady, if this lady gets up on this stand and pleads her case. Because why in hell are the government going to waste money on? There's multiple reasons, but why are they going to waste money on trying to sentence me when it's very clear they have one no evidence. Two, I've done fuck all wrong. Three, it's a human right that we should be allowed safety. So next month august we're now in july was meant to be the month that I was meant to get court papers telling me when I was going to be in court for the first part of a possible sentencing. And so I wrote, and so I wrote up a speech to talk to the court. And it goes like this and it goes like this your honour, my name is Porcelain, let's go with that.

Speaker 1: 55:45

I am a consenting adult in the sex industry. I'm also a mother to a young daughter. I choose this work to support her and to do so in a way that allowed me to keep her housed, clothed and cared for. As any parent would, I try to make decisions that protect my safety and well-being so I can continue to care for my child. I believe that should not be criminalised. In many areas of law and public health, we accept that people have the right to safety, even when engaging in stigmatized or risky work. We allow harm reduction for drug users not to condone drug use, but to prevent unnecessary death. I believe the same principle should apply to sex work.

Speaker 1: 56:36

This charge doesn't reflect danger to the public. It reflects stigma, and the consequences go far beyond me. They impact my daughter, who deserves a mother who is safe and present. We don't arrest people who use safe drug consumption rooms. We support their right to survive. Why is that same harm reduction model criminalised when applied to sex workers? Is it truly in the public interest to prosecute women who are trying to avoid rape, robbery and death.

Speaker 1: 57:25

I am not a threat to society. I am a mother trying to live and to raise a daughter in a world where women's safety is not treated like a crime. I urge the court to see the human cost of criminalising women like me, not just to us, but to our children. I ask the court to consider whether prosecuting me truly serves justice. Consider whether prosecuting me truly serves justice or simply makes life harder for a mother trying to protect herself and her child. Thank you, I love my child with all my heart. I fought a good year and a half for custody for my child with all my heart. I fought a good year and a half for custody for my child and I am damn well not giving up being a mum just because some stupid rightwinged people think that sex workers are not fit to be mothers or deserve don't, or don't deserve rights. Sex work is work and we demand labor rights. So I think this is where I'm gonna end part one and then we're to talk about the laws and I might speak about and a few other things, but this is already, I think, close to an hour and I'll give you guys a break. But that's my story.

Speaker 1: 59:38

I've had a grueling year. I really have. I've lost friends in the community and outside the community and in the sex worker community, in the sex worker community, in the kink community, and it feels like I've been blacklisted as well, because it's a bit suspish when suddenly a dungeon closes down and people are getting interviewed by police, which I can't blame them, that it's dodgy and like risky and like yeah, I can only thank the people who were with me at the time, who supported me, and I'm eternally grateful for your support. But it was extremely isolating and I went into what every day, every other day at least. I was in a deep depression about what the future could hold Because I had no idea I was preparing myself for a full year of potentially going to jail and I didn't know out as much as I used to at all every time I heard somebody mention oh, your dungeon was amazing, are you gonna open up another one?

Speaker 1: 1:01:32

It was a total dagger to the heart and I know they didn't mean it and I I had to lie to everybody and say to them all just just, the council shut it down. I mean it started with the council. The neighbor told the council, then the council went to the police and then the police didn't do their fucking due diligence, which is another, as I said, which is why I wish it wasn't dropped in a way like it should be a good thing, and it is but at the same time I wanted to rub their faces in the dirt and say, ha, you didn't have enough to prosecute me, because there was fuck all to prosecute me with what? For being safe, letting others have safety, educating others, come on now. That's pathetic. So, yeah, I have to get back out in there into the world, now that everybody knows and I don't have to hide anymore.

Speaker 1: 1:02:53

And I felt last thing, I felt really weirdly shame and guilty, the fact that I was charged with this and I'm involved in things like Scotland for Decrim and protesting and wanting decriminalisation. After I got the letter saying that it was dismissed, I just felt a wave of guilt I've never fully had, like I had guilt, protesting, and at one point I went to parliament to talk about my story, but it wasn't my story because I couldn't legally say it was my story. Instead, I said it was my friend's story. Um, I went to the house of commons with ECP um to talk about my friend's story and what was it? It wasn't Umbrella Lane, because Umbrella Lane doesn't exist anymore. I can't remember if it was Oakley Mugs, I'm not too sure, but there was a protest in Edinburgh for sex workers, sex workers rights, and I went to that protest you know red umbrellas and everything and I talked about.

Speaker 1: 1:04:24

I got on the mic and talked about my friend's story and, lo and behold, some people did know because because one of the sex workers who I do know, who was interviewed, told people about my situation. They told clients and so the clients told other sex workers and that broke my fucking heart and trust and I only recently just found that out. Who does that? Shares somebody's news, especially as impactful as it was to me and I'm. Even before it happened, our friendship at the time wasn't as great. Even before it happened, our friendship at the time wasn't as great because of personal matters, and after the police it was even worse and I was blamed for it, for it all happening, and that was a whole bit of depression. I really was losing somebody who I thought was a friend of mine to totally flip and sort of be anti-sex work honestly, which was fucked, and then to tell clients about my situation, which obviously impacted me having clients because I couldn't tell clients and even if I did, then that you know that could impact me negatively.

Speaker 1: 1:06:01

Nobody wants to go see somebody who, um was charged for brothel keeping. There was a client who I was meant to see and I got my phone taken off of me by the police so I couldn't contact this client and so I messaged him through other ways and I said to him I'm so fucking sorry, like I couldn't make our booking and whatnot. This has happened and I explained it and I met him again and he joked about the police following me and that fucked me up. I don't know how somebody can joke about that when they know how traumatic it was to me and they joked about it as a client. That was messed up and they weren't comfortable seeing me at any of um, my places, um where, yeah, because I wasn't based anywhere for a good while, I I mean I literally broke up with my ex. Well, no, I kicked him out after a year and a half of him not wanting to move out. That was very traumatic.

Speaker 1: 1:07:25

So I was going through quite a traumatic time trying to kick out this six foot six man who walked all over me. Basically and I know that sounds strange coming from somebody who was a professional dominatrix, but I would literally throw this man's clothes and suitcase outside at one point. He slept in his car and I still let him walk all over me. I didn't want to involve the police either because, yeah, you know, self-explanatory there and I was going through that and it was only until August no, yeah, august, something around August, september, that I started that. You know, I officially kicked him out and I made his work space his office not that he had a job, that's another story um, into my little play space, which is depressing. But you know, you know I try and look at the positives but it's very, very hard and it is very much still. Every day I struggle to come into my little play space and not know in the future if I can have a play space like that again. I want to, I strive to, I really do.

Speaker 1: 1:09:08

Another thing which I must mention is that when a police officer came to the door mention is that when a police officer came to the door, so a police officer actually came to my home to give us court papers for when we were first meant to be due in court, and there's a lot of going to court and like kind of fuck all happening? But things are happening and it's like proceeding. And my ex opened the door and you know the police officer's meant to hand it to both of you. He's meant to see both of you and actually hand it to the person who it's addressed to, and so he handed it to my partner at the time and then he goes, uh no, and then my partner yells for me to come to the door and this officer goes oh, is it a wee domestic? What the fuck? How casually can you say that it's disgusting? My trust and I wouldn't say love, but my liking for the police has went down dramatically after all this experience and that you know, as I said, I still do have PTSD, I still do have the fear from the police. So this is where I'm gonna end the.

Speaker 1: 1:10:53

I'm all red and flustered from crying, but I don't want to say I hope you've enjoyed my story, I hope it's made you depressed and all sad that this is what is going on, going on. Um, if you're a sex worker, please stay safe, please do. And if you're, in general, a woman that has told the police of a crime, that has happened and you are a victim. Don't lose hope. I'm trying not to cry. Don't lose hope. Your story, if you want it to be heard, it will be heard and you will eventually hopefully have retribution, eventually hopefully have retribution. This has been Behind the Paddle Podcast with me. Paws of Victoria.

Speaker 1: 1:12:08

I also want to say a massive, massive thank you to ECP, the English Collective of Prostitutes. I honestly don't know what I would have done without your help. They helped me get a lawyer and they supported me and essentially just taught me a lot and helped me all the way through this and again, I don't know what I would have done without them, which is why it's very important to keep these charities, campaigns, grassroots, everything, everything running for sex workers, these support systems. If they disappear, there's going to be nothing left and we don't want that. Obviously we don't. So please go and support the English Collective of Prostitutes. They do absolutely amazing work and they will attempt to help you in any and every way they can. Honestly, I thought I was very much a lost cause in the fact that I was charged with brothel keeping and I just I owe them a lot. I really do and I'm very appreciative towards them and their kindness and generosity and how amazing they have been supporting me all the way through this.

Speaker 1: 1:13:56

And I completely got sidetracked earlier on where I was talking about feeling guilt and I spoke to one of the spokes people of English Collective of Prostitutes and I told them I was just like I actually feel guilt being in the protests because you know, I've been charged with this and it was.

Speaker 1: 1:14:22

It's a weird feeling and I don't feel as much like it before because I've had loads of people say how brave I've been and to not plead guilty because I had a lawyer suggest I plead guilty because I'd get half or a lesser sentence and I was like, no, I don't want to do that and and yeah, it's been a wild ride. I also would like to thank National Ugly Mugs as well. They were there in case I ever wanted to actually speak to somebody and it was very comforting to know that there was a good amount of people, not even in the sex work industry, but knew about sex work and have a history and they do care about sex workers and it was wonderful to know that and I really appreciate it. I really really do. And if you get a chance, if you have any spare coins, please, please, absolutely donate to these organizations. We do need it because a lot of them aren't funded by the government and they're usually non-profit and such. And thank you, thank you for listening, goodbye.