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Hello and welcome back to Behind the Vada Podcast, MePorse and Victoria. We are continuing on with chapter 3, How to Be You by Ellie Middleton. Inhibition slash impulse control. As someone who is covered in over 50 tattoos, most of which weren't booked ahead of time, who has dyed her hair almost every colour possible, and who traveled the world for two years on one month's notice, I perhaps should have realized that my impulse control was slightly off sooner than I did. I have always worred through life at 100 miles per hour, rarely taking the time to stop and consider my options, but instead rushing full steam ahead into any decision, no matter how important. Before my ADHD diagnosis, I booked holidays without considering whether I could actually get the time off work, applied for jobs without taking the time to think about whether it was something I actually wanted to do, and booked whatever tickets I could get my hands on to go and see my favourite bands live in concert, even if the gig was at the other side of the country and I had no idea how I might get there or who might be interested in coming with me. Looking back, I now know that this is because inhibition impulse control is one of the executive functioning skills that is impacted in neurodivergent brains. In this chapter we will explore what is inhibition impulse control? Which systems have affected the way we think about inhibition slash impulse control. How can we support ourselves with inhibition slash impulse control? Five things to consider putting in place for your inhibition slash impulse control. Our brains don't stop us jumping into things in the same way that other people's do. So we have to find ways of manually putting some sort of barrier into place to hold us back from going full steam ahead. Asking people to tweak the ways in which they communicate with you to better support your brain is not too much to ask. What is inhibition slash impulse control? It is defined as the ability to resist impulsive urges and hold back from inappropriate or disruptive behaviors. Put simply, it describes our brain's ability to stop and think about whether something is a good idea rather than jumping straight in. This skill is frequently impacted in neurodivergent people, especially for ADHDers, where impulsivity makes up a big part of the diagnostic criteria. The DSM5 is the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which is frequently used to assess and medically diagnose many neurodivergences, including ADHD. It includes the following examples of impulsive behavior which make up part of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected, often runs about or climbs in situations where it is not appropriate. Adolescents or adults may be limited to feeling restless, is often on the go, acting as if driven by a motor, often talks excessively, often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed, often has trouble waiting their turn, often interrupts or intrudes on others, e.g., butts into conversations or games. These impulsive behaviors, as is the case for much on the diagnostic criteria, appear to focus more on examples of impulsivity that are visibly obvious to the people around us rather than our own internal experiences. They also seem to describe experiences that might be more common in children than teenagers or adults may have learned to mask throughout their lives. Other less obvious, more internal, or less easily masked examples of impulsive behaviour might include spending money without considering the consequences, saying something without considering if it might be hurtful or inappropriate, booking holidays without considering if you're actually able to go, quitting your job on a whim, finding it hard to resist risky, self-destructive behaviors, for example, unsafe sex or binging on drugs or alcohol, binge eating or eating to the point that you feel sick, becoming suddenly angry at the flick of a switch, feeling physical discomfort when having to wait in line, jumping straight into tasks without planning first, having racing thoughts that are hard to control, spur of the moment decision making, even when it is a big or important decision. Researchers have suggested a couple of reasons that we might struggle with inhibition slash impulse control. The first is that it could be associated with an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain. Explained simply, the human brain uses a combination of hormones to make decisions about what we should or should not do, including happy hormones, which reinforce behaviors that make us feel good to encourage us to repeat them. When it comes to impulse control, it has been suggested that two of these hormones in particular, dopamine and serotonin, are at play. Dopamine is described as the brain's go signal. It motivates us to get going or keep going, with an activity that needs to be done. And serotonin is described as the no-go signal, which lets us know that we're content. We have done enough, and it's okay to stop and enjoy the feeling. In a neurotypical brain, it's thought that the balance between the two is pretty stable, and so somebody will get just enough of the motivational dopamine to get them going, followed by just enough serotonin to let them know that it's okay to stop. In certain situations, the go dopamine will increase and motivate them to indulge in an impulse, like when it's important to make a quick decision and get going. And at other times, the no-go serotonin levels will override the dopamine and stop them acting impulsively, working together as the inhibition slash impulse control. Whereas it has been suggested that when somebody has AGHD, and this could perhaps be the case for other neurodivergent folks too, they have a lower number of dopamine receptors in the brain. This means that during ordinary tasks, we might receive fewer of the go signals, which explains why we can struggle with other executive functioning skills like task initiation. So how does this link to impulsivity? Well, one study suggested that since we usually have lower levels of dopamine, when we do get a dopamine hit, it triggers an even higher amount of dopamine in our usually dopamine-deficient brains, meaning it completely overrides the levels of serotonin and makes us more likely to act impulsively. Research in this area is very limited, and many people feel that the dopamine explanation of ADHD oversimplifies what is really going on. But this theory goes some way to explaining why it is that we might struggle to control our impulses in the same ways that other people can. Which systems have affected the way we think about inhibition slash impulse control? As with all executive functioning skills, we do need to be able to control our impulses to a certain level. Impulsive behavior in ADHD especially can lead to dangerous and difficult experiences, including the examples below which I shared in my first book, Unmasked. Adults with ADHD are nine times more likely to end up in prison than those of a similar age and background who do not have ADHD. Adults with ADHD are far more likely than those without to engage in risky financial behavior, such as taking out expensive loans or making impulse purchases impulsive purchases without thinking the implications through fully. Sixty percent of ADHDers said that it directly impacts their financial lives because of issues with money management costing them on average an estimated £1,600 per year. According to a study conducted at Harvard Medical School in 2007, girls with ADHD were almost four times more likely to have an eating disorder than those without ADHD. So of course, it is important that we are supported to find ways of improving our impulse control. However, I believe that, as with all the executive functioning skills that we will explore throughout the book, the way that we currently think about impulsivity has been defined by some of the biases that show up in our society. One place to start is with ableism. As mentioned above, the examples of impulsivity given in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD are mostly through the lens of somebody else's view of an ADHD, rather than the experiences of the ADHD themselves. They describe behaviors that are seen as annoying, disruptive, or inconsiderate by society, when, much of the time, there is no actual reason for this. It is simply that we've been taught over time that this is the way we should see these behaviors. For example, often leaves seats in situations when remaining seated is expected. Who decided that we have to sit down for long periods of time and it is bad to prefer to stand or move around? Why is it impulsive to stand up and walk around during a meeting rather than being seen as a perfectly normal thing that a human might choose to do? Research has actually shown that the act of walking leads to an increase in creative thinking, which suggests that walking meetings might actually improve our ways of working and ability to problem solve. Often talks excessively. Who decides what is a normal versus excessive amount to talk? Surely this is dependent on circumstance, mood, and personal preference, rather than a clearly defined amount. We have been conditioned to think it is rude for people to speak a lot or over other people in conversation, when in reality, we should be more aware of why someone might be doing that and accept that that's someone's natural communication style. Otherwise, it's us that is actually being rude to that person. Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed. Why did we decide that being able to answer a question quickly was a bad thing? Sure, waiting gives other people the chance to work it out in a classroom environment, for example, but surely answering a question quickly is actually a good thing, because it shows that a you are listening, and b you have the knowledge required to provide an answer or solution. Often has trouble waiting their turn. Perhaps if we hadn't created a society that involves so much queuing and waiting, then having trouble waiting your turn would not be such a disabling trait. A lot of the times that we have to queue and wait are because of our consumerism and capitalist society. For example, waiting to get to the counter in a shop, or because of services that don't properly suit our needs because of budget cuts. For example, having to wait for many hours in a need to see a doctor. Bonus tip. If you do struggle with waiting in lines as an impulsive ADHD, you might want to get your hands on a sunflower lanyard. The sunflower lanyard was created by the Hidden Disabilities team as a visible symbol for somebody to wear to communicate that they have a hidden or invisible disability and might require some extra support. If you wear them in certain places, such as the airport, you're able to bypass cues and use the assistance lane or sometimes even get on the plane ahead of everybody else. As a reasonable adjustment to accommodate your disability. This has been a game changer for me as an autistic ADHDer who is a frequent traveler but who struggles with waiting, especially in noisy and sensory overload-inducing environments. P.S. This tip was impulsivity added to the book as I happen to be writing this chapter on the plane to my holiday. I hadn't previously thought to include it, and it was not in my plan. But after navigating the airport this morning, I decided it would be a good thing to let you know about. Told you, impulsivity had its perks. In addition to this, I believe that our views around impulsivity are shaped by the misogyny that is rife within our patriarchal society. Among many other things, we have been conditioned to think that women should be caregivers, meek, mellow, and polite, whereas men might be able to get away with being more boisterous, confident, and loud. Using risky behaviors, such as engaging in sexual relationships. As an example, we can see the differences in how we might consider the encounter, depending on whether it was a man or woman behaving in the impulsive way. Of course, it is important that all of us engage in safe, protected, and consensual sex. However, our opinions of men who engage in casual or impulsive sex tend to be very different to those we hold of women who do the same. A man who has a one-night stand might be seen as a lad or a legend and praised for his behavior. Whereas a woman is seen as impulsive, improper, irresponsible, and might even be slut-shamed. Similarly, a woman who decides to leave an unhappy marriage might be impulsive and shamed for failing to protect the family unit, whereas a man might be seen as doing what's best for his career. If we look into this fervor, often we label a decision or behavior as impulsive simply because we don't agree with it ourselves, or can't understand the person's reasoning, rather than being impulsive in itself. Just because you can't see or understand the thought process that has gone into somebody else's decision does not mean that it never happened. And just because the decision or behavior seemed sudden or impulsive to an outsider does not mean that it wasn't carefully considered beforehand. It can feel as though calling a behavior impulsive is a way to shame somebody out of making the decision, rather than a genuine consideration of how much time they have put into weighing it up. This shows up in examples we shared above with misogyny, but also very frequently because of the way that we have been socialized within our capitalist society. We live and work in a world where we're told that the right thing to do is do well at school, get good grades, go off to study at a good university, get a good degree, get a good corporate job, climb your way up the career ladder, and work hard every day for the rest of your life until you retire at the age of 70, if you're lucky. Any deviance from this lifestyle that we've had carefully planned out for us is seen as impulsive. No matter how carefully thought out it actually is. Quitting your job without another one lined up sounds impulsive. Or maybe it is a very carefully considered decision which you believe is necessary for your mental health. Dropping out of uni sounds impulsive. Or maybe you have discovered that uni isn't the right path for you and you don't want to waste more time and money completing a degree that you don't really want. Taking a year off work to go traveling sounds impulsive. Or maybe you have spent lots of time planning and saving up and want to experience more of what the world has to offer. It goes without saying that all Lee's decisions do need to be carefully considered. However, my point is that we see anything that deviates from normal ways of living, informed by late-stage capitalism, as being more impulsive than other decisions that we might make, regardless of the time and consideration that might have gone into making the decision in question. Imagine two people. Person A is making the decision to leave their current corporate job to start their own creative small business. And person B is making the decision to leave their current corporate job to get a different corporate job at another company. Even if both person A and B put the exact same amount of time and consideration into making the decision, in my experience, It is likely that person A would be considered more impulsive than person B. This doesn't make any sense. Equally, if person A told two friends, person C who is self-employed, and person D who has worked for the same company their entire life, that they are planning to leave the job to start their own business. I have found that it is more likely that person D would label them impulsive than person C, who has lived experience of making that decision themselves. All this goes to say that something being impulsive is subjective and depends on the other person's frame of reference, including whether they agree with the decision you are making. We never truly know how much somebody has considered a decision, and there is no arbitrary amount of time that we should take before acting or making a decision about something. Although it absolutely can be destructive and incredibly difficult to live with a brain that quickly acts on impulses. For instance, when dealing with the examples listed above, such as impulse spending or engaging in risky behaviors, sometimes acting quickly and impulsively is advantageous and therefore praised. This might be in the office, making a quick business decision that allows action to be taken, or in a medical setting, trusting your instinct and making the decision to operate quickly. For example, rather than letting somebody's situation deteriorate. In those situations, we don't shame somebody for their impulsive behavior. We praise them for their ability to think on their feet. Side note that as a very literal thinking autistic person who can struggle with sayings, I had to double and triple check that think on their feet. A was a right combination of words, feet, toes, and b meant what I wanted to say. Surely we are always thinking on our feet if we really think about it. Well, unless we're sitting down. That is. Anyway, hopefully you know what I mean. I have found that this also often depends on whether the outcome of the impulsive decision is what is desired or not. If you quit your job to start your own business and it doesn't become profitable quickly, it was an impulsive decision. But if you start that business and turn over a million pounds in the first year, then it was instinctive and following your calling. How can we support ourselves with inhibition slash impulse control? As we'll explore later on in the chapter in our bigger tips, a lot of the things we and the people around us can do to support ourselves with inhibition slash impulse control are about adding friction to the decision-making process. Our brains don't stop us jumping into things in the same way that other people's do. So we have to find ways of manually putting some sort of barrier into place to hold us back from going full steam ahead. You can do this in a whole range of ways, and it's absolutely okay to expect other people to do the same thing to support you too. After all, if, for example, a manager knows that you're prone to impulsively saying yes to taking on additional work without properly considering if you have the capability or a friend knows that you're prone to impulsivity, saying yes to lending them money without properly considering whether you can afford to. And they continue to ask these questions without putting some kind of barrier in for you. They are taking advantage of you. Not everybody has bad intentions, but I hope that reading this helps you realize that asking people to tweak the ways in which they communicate with you to better support your brain is not too much to ask. A list of things that are absolutely fine. Some of these are repeated from the previous chapter on self-monitoring, because essentially, that's what we're trying to do. Build in time for us to self-monitor and work out what we think or how we feel about something, to stop us impulsively jumping in when it would be unhelpful and or dangerous to do so. Asking to have some time to consider your capacity and how much you already have on your plate before saying yes or no to a request. Asking to have some time to process how you feel about something somebody has said to you before responding. For example, needing some time to process how you feel after somebody has hurt you instead of rushing into accepting an apology before you've had time to work out if you're actually ready to forgive somebody. Asking to receive these requests or big or important communications via email or text rather than verbally or face-to-face, so you have that time to process and consider. Implementing rules to help prevent you from impulsive decision making, such as waiting 40 hours before buying anything over £100. More on finances later in the chapter. Or using a scripted phrase such as thank you for asking me about XYZ. I no longer say yes to anything in the moment, but I will get back to you by insert time frame here if it's something I'd like to do or be involved with, etc. Asking to have meetings while walking instead of while sitting around a desk to prevent you from needing to impulsively stand up in the middle of the discussion. Changing topics impulsively during a conversation because your brain is racing in lots of different directions. Leaning into your urges to try lots of different hobbies or hyperfixations, maybe try attending a club rather than buying all the equipment or supplies impulsively. Using tools such as a pros and cons table to help you consider whether something is a good idea. Asking for advice from trusted friends, colleagues, or family members when you feel like making an impulsive decision might be a bad idea. Switching off your phone or deleting social media apps when you're feeling particularly impulsive, e.g. after drinking alcohol, to prevent saying slash sharing anything that you might regret. Tip 11. Car Park Ideas by Leanne Maskell, she her, award-winning ADHD coach and author of ADHD and A to Z. People with ADHD are idea machines, so we can sometimes get overwhelmed with wanting to do everything right. The 30% developmental delay in executive functioning skills means that we may experience time as now or not now, making it hard to prioritize, delegate, and plan ahead, especially when we're on the tidal wave of hyperfocus. This is thanks to our interest-based nervous system. In contrast to neurotypical brains, which are said to be driven by importance, we are energized and motivated by interest, novelty, and adrenaline. Our brains, especially when in hyperfocus mode, often feel like a super wheezy racing car dragging us in circles, but with bicycle brakes, so we can't stop. Except we can. This is where ADHD coaching comes in, by working with our brains instead of against them. We can do it all, just not all at the same time. At ADHD Works we train ADHD coaches to use an ex an exercise for this called the car park ideas. Essentially, it's imagining your brain as a car park, with each super important and must-do right now idea noted down and separated out into individual cars. In this car park, you can draw each one out, personalizing the idea with the size and type of the car. Pink Ferraris, Lamborghinis with wings, Porsches with tents on the roof, homemade cardboard box racing cars go wild. Now we all know that it's impossible to drive more than one car at a time. Even if you were a billionaire with a garage full of racing cars, at any one time you can only drive one car. Imagine that you start by taking the first car you want to drive, thinking ahead to plan out the journey. The rest of your ideas are waiting for you in the car park, ready to spring to life when you are, but you are consciously driving one at a time. When we pick one car or idea to use at a time, we can then think about what we need to do and how to break it down. This involves thinking about the end point. How will we know when we're finished? What's at the end of the drive? Setting this out in advance enables us to strengthen the bicycle brakes and use each idea with purpose, avoiding overwhelm. Once we're done with the first drive, we can metaphorically park it back in the car park and perhaps pick out another to take for a spin. This exercise helps us to counteract the dopamine-seeking parts of our brains with action. We are doing something with our ideas by writing them down and holding them in one physical spot so we don't feel under pressure, to do every idea immediately or risk losing them forever. We know they're there waiting for us, and breaking down our overwhelm like this can help us pick the most exciting idea first, without holding ourselves to this being the only idea we will ever do. On the following page, you can park up some of the ideas we have in your very own car park, knowing that they will be safe for you to come back to later. So what you can do is draw some car parks and draw some lovely cars and then write what the jobs that those cars are gonna be. Tip 12. Switch over, not off. My brain only has one setting. On. I'm always thinking about and doing a million things at a time, whirling through life, and have even previously been referred to as Hurricane Ellie. While I know that resting is incredibly important for anyone, but especially as a neurodivergent person who has a smaller battery than most people, I still find it really hard to switch off or do nothing. It is just not in my nature. In the past, whenever I would try to switch off completely, in the evening, at the weekend, or while on holiday, I would end up doing other impulsive things to subconsciously find a new way to give my brain the dopamine hit that it needed. I would often come back from holiday having booked another holiday, applied for a course, applied for a job, or made other impulsive plans. Not ideal. But now I know that switching off isn't going to work for me, I can take steps to try and hold off this impulsivity by switching over to a different, more relaxing task, rather than trying to switch off completely. Some of the tasks I find helpful to switch over to are reading a book, learning slash studying something new, doing something creative like painting or making a collage, watching a film or TV series. The trick is to find something that gives your brain just enough stimulation while still allowing you to rest from your main tasks like work or study. Many neurodivergent folks are really bad at doing things just for the love of it. We can really tie our worth to our productivity and feel like we need to be achieving something at all times, especially if we have spent a lot of our lives undiagnosed. I for one am seriously guilty of this, but I know the importance of giving my brain some time to rest. So switching over has been a game changer for me. Some tasks that you could switch over to when you're trying to rest. So the activity is to bullet point some tasks that could help you switch over. Tip 13, do not disturb. Our next tip is incredibly simple, but often it is the smallest changes that make the difference that make the biggest difference. I know I am biased, but I do think that this is one of those cases. Let's face it, technology is a pretty big part of our lives. The screen time is incredibly high, often higher than I'd like to admit, and I'm sure many of you will feel the same. We switch between sitting in front of a medium-sized screen at work, coming home and scrolling on a smaller screen, and sometimes watching something on a bigger screen for good measure. And many of the apps on these screens are actively designed to make us want to spend even more time on them, which can sometimes take advantage of our impulsive dopamine-seeking natures. One way that impulsivity really creeps up for me is when I see a notification. No matter how important a task I'm completing or how focused I might be, if I see a notification pop up letting me know that a friend has commented on my picture or I have an email from an exciting brand, I immediately want to check what it is. I don't stop to think, is interrupting my flow right now going to be helpful? Or do I have the time to read this email at this very second? I just see the notification pop up and click through to the app it came from before my brain has even tuned into what's going on. The solution is simple. The solution to this is simple. Turn the notifications off. You can either do this manually, app by app, so the notifications don't come through to your phone at all. For example, turning off notifications within Instagram or Gmail, or by putting your phone onto do not disturb mode, which temporarily silences any notifications and shows you them once you switch it off. I personally use a combination of both. I have all notifications for social media turned off all the time, but use do not disturb while I am working to stop any WhatsApp slash message notifications disturbing me. However, you can do whatever works best for you. For things like work emails, for example, where it is important that you remember to read them at some point without the helpful reminder from the notification, you could schedule in a slot at the start and end of the day to make sure you're still responding to them in a timely manner, without impulsively jumping to check them when you're in the middle of something important. To get you thinking about which notifications might be unhelpful, you could keep a log of which apps you get notifications from over a 24-hour period and note which ones you need to see or are helpful to see, and which ones you don't need to see, and are unhelpful or distracting. You can then go into the settings of each app that you don't need to see notifications for and manually switch them off. So now we have a table which says the headings are app, number of notifications, helpful or unhelpful, and action, brackets, turn off, do not disturb, question mark. Tip 14. Message monitor. As somebody who has always been very impulsive, there have been plenty of times when I have sent spare-of-the-moment text messages, which I've later very much regretted. Shout out to all the mediocre men who received multiple paragraph heartfelt messages explaining my every thought when they let me down and or broke my heart. However much cringe I might feel from thinking about those messages, it turns out that this can actually be explained by science. Who would have thought it? Remember that dopamine go signal we spoke about earlier? Well, although the research on exactly how those floods of dopamine are triggered is still very limited, one recent study found a possible link to emotional escalation. This means that events that trigger sudden and intense emotions, like panic, anger, or euphoria, may trigger higher amounts of dopamine. And as we know, more dopamine equals more urgency to do something, i.e., send a long, impulsive, heartfelt paragraph. This research means that my urge to send these messages or equally reply impulsively to comments that make me angry on social media, for example, is always going to be there. It is just the way my brain works, but equally, is a behavior that I would very much rather move away from. Lots of people suggest using your notes app or a journal, which does go some way to fulfilling that need to impulsively express your every thought and feeling on whatever it is that has triggered you. However, I personally find that doing this doesn't quite scratch the itch. A lot of the thrill that comes from sending these impulsive messages comes from the risk and the oh my god, what have I done feeling that comes when pressing send, which just isn't there when you're typing in your notes. One way that I've found to overcome this is having a dedicated friend or friends to send these impulsive messages to instead of sending them to the person I want to. I will type out the message in a fury or panic or whatever other emotion I might be feeling, exactly as I. Would have if I was going to reply to somebody, but instead send it to my designated friend. You still get the rush of typing away frantically on WhatsApp, and you still get the thrill of pressing send, just without the next day, minute, hour dread, embarrassing cringe. If you're going through a tough time with work and don't want to suffer the consequences of replying angrily to your manager, or you're going through a breakup and don't want to suffer the repercussions of pouring your heart out to somebody who absolutely is not worthy of your feelings. Ask a friend if they'll volunteer to be your message monitor. I would probably let them know beforehand so they have context for the rant that is coming their way. Tip 15, managing your finances. By Tanisha Crow. Autistic and ADHD Finance Manager and Financial Coach. Whether you believe money is good or evil, it is a necessary tool for creating the life we want to live. Money can give us freedom, experiences, safety, and the power to say no to things that don't serve us. So it's essential that we look after it. As a financial coach who works with many neurodivergent clients, some of the most common money struggles they report are with impulsive spending, especially takeaways and special interest-related purchases, and trouble with planning ahead for future purchases, i.e. annual subscriptions. There are a couple of things that you can do to support yourself with inhibition slash impulse control when it comes to money. Get the system to work for you. Rather than trying to fight the system, sometimes it is better to just find a better system. Is the bank that you're using helping you keep on top of everything? Or could they be doing better? Some features that can be helpful for busy brains are instant notifications for whenever money enters or leaves your current account, real-time balance updates, upcoming payment reminders, places to set aside money, places to set money aside automatically, which can be locked, used out of sight, out of mind to grow your savings, web chat features avoiding those awful phone calls, add dopamine trackers, colours, fancy pens and stickers, checklists, and small goals, visual spending breakdown or a reward system. Gamify your money. Add challenge, competitions, and rewards to spice things up. Check whether there are any tools you're not making the most of. Look for a new bank or let your current bank know they could be doing better. The more of us that speak up, the more that will change. Some of the new Challenger banks such as Monzo and Starlink implement these features and so might be helpful to check out. Add friction to purchases. It is easier than ever to make big impulsive purchases. The idea is to add friction to try and override the impulse. Try short term. Delete all saved bank details from online shopping sites or autofill passwords. Write notes on your direct debit cards such as do I really need this? Or saving for XYZ. Stick post-its on the wall near where you spend time on your phone or computer or have a visual reminder of what meaningful thing you're saving money for. Before you purchase anything, make a habit of braindumping in a journal. Why do you want to buy this? And will it add to your life? What are you saying no to by purchasing this? Mute slash unfollow creators or brands that tempt you, especially if you are vulnerable to sales and marketing tactics. Set up different accounts for where your money goes in and spending comes out. Leave online shopping for 24 hours in the cart before buying. You sometimes get rewards and discounts for doing this. Have funds allocated specifically for fun slash splurge money, which you can spend completely guilt-free on whatever you want. Long term. Identify your emotional state when you have the urge to spend. Are you bored, understimulated, overstimulated? What is your brain saying to you? Are you stressed? Be honest about what your brain is actually craving. Can you get your dopamine hit from somewhere else, like exercise? Are you craving connection or comfort? Find an alternative coping mechanism. What could give you that same feeling but is easier on your money? Go for a walk, call a friend, play with a pet. Just start with one small step and allow yourself to let go of the expectation that there is one perfect tool out there, and you will probably go through many different tools to keep the novelty and interest alive. That is okay. Finally, I'd like to finish by saying again and again, it was never a waste of money if it was important to you, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Inhibition slash impulse control recap. Our third executive functioning skill, inhibition slash impulse control, is defined as the ability to resist impulsive urges and hold back from inappropriate or disruptive behaviors. It describes our brain's ability to stop and think about whether something is a good idea, rather than jumping straight in, and involves being able to control one's attention, behavior, thoughts, and or emotions to override a strong internal, predisposition or external law, and instead do what's more appropriate or needed. Sometimes this is a handy skill to stop us rushing into risky or unhelpful situations. However, as we've explored throughout the chapter, there are other times when thinking and acting quickly can work to our advantage. In this chapter we explored what inhibition slash impulse control is the systems which have affected the way we think about inhibition slash impulse control. Some ways we can support ourselves with inhibition slash impulse control. Five things to consider putting in place for your inhibition slash impulse control. Your takeaway box. Impulsivity is subjective. Nobody else knows how much thought or consideration has gone into a decision you make. And they're calling you impulsive might be more of a reflection of their disagreement with your decision rather than the thoroughness of your consideration. Sometimes being prone to acting on our impulses can be a good thing. It allows us to act quickly, pivot, and stay ahead of others who might spend longer deliberating whether something is a good idea or not. When it is safe to do so and doesn't have financial or safety risks, it can actually be beneficial for us to lean into our impulsive nature. Adding friction to decision-making process can help us to hold back from making impulsive decisions. Our brains don't stop us jumping into things in the same way that other people's do. So we have to find ways of manually putting some sort of barrier in place to hold us back from going full steam ahead. You can do this in a whole range of ways. And it's absolutely okay to expect other people to do the same thing to support you too. Alrighty, that is us for chapter 3. I hope you have enjoyed this episode. Please give a like, please follow, please give five stars to wherever you're listening. And this has been Behind the Powder Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. Bye.