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Hello and welcome back to Bang and Pala Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. So today we are going to talk about Pet Play. We're going to talk about colours and creatures inside the world of pet play. So Pet Play is one of the most misunderstood and most emotionally layered forms of kink. It's not about bestiality. It's not about humiliation. It's about transformation, trust, obedience, identity, and joy. So now we're gonna define what pet play is and why more and more kinksters are barking, meowing, and galloping into it. So I myself, I am a pup. I am a little Pomeranian, cute, annoying, bratty. The majority of the time I get what I want. I absolutely love being a pup. It gives such a different reality, and you again, with the majority of kink, you get to forget about bills, you get to forget about adulting, you get to forget about the worries of life, and you just get to be a creature, you get to be an animal, but again, you don't think about bestiality or anything like that, but you just become something else, and it can be fun. So let's get something clear from the start. Pet play is not zoophilia, it's not about sex with animals, it's about humans consensually roleplaying as animals and caretaking them. Pet play is a form of roleplay. And no, you don't have to be submissive to be a pet. Again, as I've said multiple times, there has been like a traditional role, if that makes sense, where you see it in movies or porn where that specific role or that roleplay is specifically submissive, and you see that quite often. But in reality, you don't have to be submissive to be a pet, and you don't have to be dominant to be an owner or caretaker. You take on a physical form, it's psychological and behavioral traits of an animal. You don't need to be submissive. So again, the handler, trainer, owner, caretaker, you don't need to be dominant. You guide, you use discipline, you nurture that pet in a structured scene or long distance scene, all dynamic. See, it can be non-sexual and it can also be sexual. It can include restraints, it can include kink, it can include erotic power exchange. And of course it can be part-time or lifestyle for me. It's lifestyle in the way where if I can play, if I can be a pup, then I will be. I guess you could say it's part-time as well, but we're not always pets, we're not always submissives, we're not always dominants. Some people can be, absolutely, but I find that's quite rare that somebody is like a hundred percent dominant or a specific type of um role all the time. Cause it's exhausting. When you are in a dynamic, especially, it is exhausting. But I would say I lived a BDSM lifestyle, um, even if I wasn't um working as a dominatrix. It is my life, it is something which I need to fulfill myself, and I need that in others as well if I do make any connections. So it can also be playful or really intense, or it can be both of those together. Everybody is different, everybody feels things differently, and it can be therapy or fantasy. We'll dive more into that later on. So we're now going to give a brief history of humans becoming beasts. For as long as humans have been telling stories, we've been fascinated with becoming something other, especially animals. We've got totems and shapeshifting gods. In ancient Egypt, deities like Anubis, the jackal-headed god of the dead, love very much, or Basset, cat-headed goddess of protection and pleasure. We're not were not just symbols, they were embodiments of power, mystery, and primal instinct. The Greeks told stories of Zeus transforming into a swan, a bull, or an eagle to seduce or assert dominance. Lyon, cursed by Zeus, became the first wolf in mythology, giving us the root of the word Lycanthropy. In Norse mythology, Berserkus donned bearskins, channeling the raw ferocity of animals in battle. Odin himself was said to transform into animals, to traverse realms. Shamanic transformation rituals across Siberia, the Americas, Africa, and Asia. Shamans put on animal skins or masks in ceremonies designed to bridge human and non-human worlds. By imitating animals, like howling like wolves, moving like deer, they believed they could heal, travel spiritually, or gain wisdom. Transformation was not seen as pretend, but as real. The animal spirit entered the body and for a time human identity dissolved. And then we have costume sacred rites where many indigenous cultures had ceremonial dances with elaborate animal costumes, feathered headdresses, antlers, fears, used not only for spiritual purposes but also for social bonding. The Dogen people of Mali perform masked dances where humans channel ancestral and animal spirits. The First Nations of North America hold traditions like the Thunderbird and Wolf dances, where performers blur human and animal. These rites weren't entertainment. They were sacred acknowledgments of the blurred boundaries between humanity, animality, and spirit. Becoming an animal has always been a way of accessing power beyond the ordinary self. In BDSM culture, fast forward to the 20th century, and this ancient impulse found a new home within kink and lever communities. In the 1970s, where a lot of kink was found, leather there was the leather scenes and put play. The post-stone wall gay male leather scene became a laboratory for roleplay and identity. Early versions of puppy play were emerging, men on all fours wearing collars, embodying loyalty, playfulness, or primal aggression. Unlike mythic shapeshifting, here the transformation was about sexuality, intimacy, and chosen kinship. It gave gay men a way to explore submission and dominance through animal archetypes outside heteronormative gender expectations. In the 1990s, structured pony play, while puppy play grew quietly, pony play gained traction in fashion spaces. This was highly stylized, elaborate tack, bridles, carts and leather harnesses. Some events mimicked dressage competitions with ponies, judged on obedience, performance, and beauty. This shift marked a move from private play into public performance and community recognition, paralleling how ritual animal embodiment once united tribes. 2000 to the present day, there's been an explosion of pet and fantasy play. The internet brought visibility and connection. Suddenly, pups, ponies, kittens, and more fantastical beings, like dragons, foxes, hybrids found each other online. Communities flourished on forums, then on platforms like FetLife, Twitter, Discord, and even Kick. That was where I first had my own little pet play group of random people on the internet. Gear evolved too. There became more latex hoods with muzzles, silicon tails, elaborate ears, from cute to feral, the diversity of expression exploded. Now I remember buying some like zombie kitten ears because you know at the start I thought I was like such a fancy, delightful, like soft little kitten. Nah, mate. I'm a rough and tumble pup. So what had once became sacred ritual or underground kink became a visible subculture with conventions, competitions, and international meetups. From ancient masks to modern hoods, we've always longed to shed language and run wild. Going back into how I became kinky, Sex Setra was one of the first places where I saw pet play. And seeing a grown man pretend to be a pony and a escape from reality, that was amazing to see at such a young age. And to go, wow, that this is amazing, and I want to be a part of this community. I can totally relate to this. I'm not alone. So of course you have your stereotypes on what a pup should be: kittens and ponies and mythical creatures. So what kind of pet are you? Not all pets bark, not all pets are the same. So these are the common roles in the pet play universe. So we've got pups who are usually loyal, excitable, energetic. They thrive on praise and discipline. And with the type of gear, you've got hoods, mitts, and tails. But do not worry, if you don't have any of that, you are still a pup. You can still um be in that fantasy, be in that roleplay. You don't need all the gear, like the gear is expensive, and I have hoods, but I don't actually really like hoods. I prefer ears and tails. So just because you don't wear a certain type of equipment or gear doesn't make you any less of a pup. And I know that I was quite intimidated, and when I first started, I saw there was a lot of male pups, and I'm a female pup, and so I felt a bit um not outcast, but like I didn't know if it was okay for me to be a pup. And what I say to that is honestly, in kink in life, there shouldn't really be when it comes to this, there shouldn't be any gender roles. It should just be, you enjoy doing this? Wonderful, come join in. You shouldn't have to second guess if it's okay just because of your gender. So pups are often trained with commands of agility and scent games, so you've gonna sniff and figure out what's the scent is or where the scent is. It is a lot of fun, and of course, belly rubs, scratches, fetch one of the best games ever. And with kittens, kittens are usually playful, bratty, sensual in a way. They enjoy teasing, curling up, soft dominance, and again, their gear can be ears, collars, claws, and often includes grooming, lap time, so laying on somebody's lap, and sometimes like independent scenes, so like they can just go off and do their own fucking thing, like they're cats, let's be honest. They're up to mischief, and of course the ponies are so regal, so precise and performative, focused usually on presentation and really good endurance. They should do if they're a pony. And of course, the gear is uh bites, hooves, you can get like latex hooves, PVC hooves, uh 3D printed hooves. You've got harnesses and brindles. Usually um you can get um carts which you can pull. Um you do dressage routines and fetish exhibitions, and I'm sure at a few events that are always looking for ponies as well. I think it's oh everybody's so adorable. I love it. Ponies with like their manes and how beautiful they can gallop. Love it, love it, and then of course you've got your wild animals, you've got your foxes, your wolves, your dragons. So they're usually fucking very feral and dominant leaning pets. They may resist training or offer conditional submission, and of course, you've got like uh you can get hybrid ears and tails or fantasy accessories. You know, go go wild. This is for yourself more than other people. Do what makes you happy and dress how you want to dress with this. Um, the usual roleplay with wild types is usually prey, predator. They're centered on like a hunt or a chase and capture and like pack dynamics as well, depending on what type you are. The species is the stage, the personality is the performance. And hey, you can be a kitten and you can be a dominant little thing, you don't have to be like sexual, you don't have to be um sensual, you don't have to be bratty, you don't you don't have to be certain things like there is no in BDSM there is no set rules, there is no set um things you have to go by again as long as there are boundaries, as long as there's consent, go for it. So why do people do pet play? So can't common motivations for pets? Well, to surrender language and overthinking. As I said earlier, in daily life we are tevered towards text messages, emails, constant explanations, you know, adulting. Pet play offers a silence where a bark, a nuzzle, or even just a stillness is enough. For many pets, dropping human language is deeply liberating. They can express themselves through movement, sound, and instinct rather than through carefully chosen words. A reason to become a pet might also be to receive unconditional affection. A pup curling up at a handler's feet, a kitten stretching across a lap. These gestures replicate the simple unconditional warmth pets give in everyday life. For the human pet, it creates a space where love isn't earned through performance but given freely. To express submission through behavior, not speech. Instead of saying yes, sir or yes ma'am, a pet can bow their head, roll over, or wait patiently for touch. Submission becomes physicalized, embodied, making the surrender feel less cerebral, more instinctual, to safely regress without age play. Some pets describe the joy of just being. They can nap, play, chase a ball, chew a toy, all without pressure, to be a responsible adult. Unlike age play, this regression isn't about becoming a child. It's about accessing a primal state of innocence, a safe escape from responsibility. To explore primal or instinctual urges. Scratching, biting, chasing, wrestling. Pet play allows urges that are often suppressed in daily life to surface in consensual, playful ways. For many, this bridges the gap between primal play and care-based submission, creating a unique flavor of kink. In short, pets step into fur to step out of themselves. And we're not gonna forget handlers here. Common motivations for handlers to care, guide, or train. Being a handler means balancing discipline with nurture. Many find fulfillment in the act of guiding, whether it's teaching a pup tricks or establishing routines to control through nurture rather than punishment. Unlike harsher forms of domination, pet play often emphasizes gentle authority. A leash isn't just a tool of control, it's a lifeline of connection. For handlers, this is a softer form of power exchange, rooted in affection. To receive devoted, wordless love, the loyalty of a pup or the attentiveness of a kitten provides something profound, devotion stripped of negotiation that deep trust fuels many handlers' sense of responsibility and care to practice structure, consistency, and ritual. Feeding schedules, training exercises, designated spaces. Handlers often describe pet play as sharpening their ability to be present, consistent, and reliable. A skill that often spills into their daily lives. Pet play doesn't always bark like a power exchange, but underneath it always is. So now we're gonna talk about pet play and sexuality. Is pet play sexual? Yes, no, sometimes it depends. It can be completely non-sexual. Many pets and handlers never engage in overtly sexual acts. Instead, they focus on companionships like walks in the park, head pats, feeding, grooming, and play. For some, this is stress relief, identity play, or simply a way to experience intimacy without sex. Kink and roles in BDSM do not need to be sexual. They don't need to have sex, they don't need to have that lingering sexual part. They just don't. Not everything needs to be like that. So it can be lightly erotic, others fold in subtle erotic undertones like a collar fastened snugly, a teasing command, or a ritual of kneeling before a handler. These moments carry sensual charge without necessarily crossing into overt sex. And then you have people who are intensely sexual. For some dynamics, pet play becomes a fully sensualized kink. Bondage, orgasm control, humiliation play, or sexual training. A handler may integrate pop space into larger BDSM scenes, blurring the lines between care and low erotic intensity. And that's okay. Consent is key. No bestiality or zoophilia. Pet play is humans only, no animals are involved ever. The animal is an identity, not an actual creature. This distinction is central to the practice. And then you have pre-negotiation of roles, limits and triggers. As with all kink, consent comes first. What does pet mean to this person? Do they bark, wrestle, fetch, or serve sexually? Handlers need clarity too. Are they nurturing, strict, or sexual partners in a dynamic? Again, a lot does need to be discussed beforehand. And of course, sex needs to be discussed, not assumed. Just because someone wears a tail butt plug doesn't mean it's an invitation for penetration or sexual touch. I swear to fuck, the amount of times that somebody has tried to touch a tail butt plug in my ass, or has actually asked me, oh, is that in my ass? Hey, boundaries doesn't need to we don't need to talk about sexual stuff, and you do not need to get off on the thought that there is something in my ass. No. Assumptions are the quickest way to break trust in pet play and also be creepy as fuck. Your tail is not a green light. Every touch needs consent, even in a leash. So signs of a strong pet playslash handler dynamic. This is just a big ego boost for you guys who are listening who already have a good dynamic. So clear rules and rewards. Pets thrive when they know the boundaries, when to sit, when to play, when to speak. Rules give structure, just like in any role, in any dynamic, with rewards, praise, strokes, treats, reinforce trust and joy. Emotional attunement, so reading body language. A good handler doesn't just give commands, they watch. Is the pup wagging and energized or curling inward and tired? Nonverbal cues carry more meaning than words. Again, that should go for any dynamic, really. You really need to hone in on the skill of being able to read body language in BDSM. Playfulness paired with structure. Pet play is fun. Chasing balls, tugging ropes, meowing for attention. But beneath the play is structure. You've got leashes, commands, training sessions. That mix of silly and serious makes the dynamic sustainable. You've got care before, during, and after scenes. Again, in any dynamic, in any scene. Handlers, so partners, whether that be play partners or you're in a dynamic with somebody, no matter what role, should provide water, blankets, reassurance, and the pets, so the people who the play is being on, provide snuggles and presents. We have gone over aftercare, we've gone over play before it happens and how to prep for it in the aftercare episode that we've done. So aftercare it's vital, we've already mentioned this. A pet might need grounding after intense play. I know I certainly need grounding in bloody anyway, while a handler might need affirmation of their role, and to be told that they did a really good job and that they it was enjoyable. Ultimately, the measure of a healthy dynamic isn't the gear or performance, it's whether both partners come away feeling nourished, and they both got joy from it. So now we're gonna talk about the types of gear. So we've got collars, hoods, and harnesses. So pepper gear isn't just for aesthetics, it's functional, ritualistic, and for many, transformational. I know when I put on my ears and my collars, especially if they've got bells on them. I love my bells like the jingle. Oh my god, yes. I will be jumping and skipping around the room with my bells on. I love when it's got a nice little jingle and I can just like scratch my ear and it goes jingle jingle. Oh my god, so cute! I love it. It just feels so good. So colours aren't just for like sub-dom dynamics, they are in a lot of PDSM dynamics, and it it's colours are just one of those things where it is just like standard. So colours they symbolize ownership or training status. We have talked about colours in a previous episode. Um, I do believe the title is something along the lines of colours, and it is very it does have a very deep meaning to some, and it is very traditional as well. So the colours, you can get colours in all sorts and different types. So like some colours can be lockable, they can be decorative, or they can be practical, or they can be really like tough, so like you can pull on them and they don't break. Because I know a lot of my colours are decorative, and like if you pulled on them, they might break. So like don't um some colours can be worn in scene or out of scene. Again, like ponies can have colours, kittens and pups, dragons, anybody can. You've got ears and tails, you can get clip-on-ones or strap-on ones, tails, they could be belts, they could be plugs, or they could be clipped on. I love my tail and my ears, because they help externalize identity, and especially because with me, I'm also a little as well, and like even when I'm not feeling like a pup, if I want to mix being a little and like roleplay being a pup, if that makes any sense, like it's it's cute, it's adorable. Like I get to pretend to be um an animal while in little space, and it's it's just so fun. And ears and tails can just help, especially with littles and brats and just non-verbal players as well, because you are showing who you are or how you want to play, and it's just it's it really is another identity, and then of course you've got hoods and muzzles, which are common in puppy play and pony play. You can of course get them in um kit and play, absolutely. Um, they dehumatize the face, intensify non-verbal communication. It's optional if you want to get like mouth gags or blinders or snouts. Again, you don't have to have hoods or muzzles. You can get mittens, pores, and hooves. They reduce dexterity and reinforce the role that you're in. You can get leather or rubber mitts where the hands are kept curled. I do have pores, they're really cute. You can get hooves, as I said, for pony play, and then of course you can get harnesses, which are used for restraints and guidance and leads as well. I mean, some pets do prefer gentle harnesses, others do crave firm leads. What happens when you stop thinking in words and start feeling unfit? So, as we've previously talked about, we've talked about little space and subspace. But what is pet space? Well, it's honestly quite similar. It's a mental and emotional headspace where the bottom, the submissive, embodies their creature self. It's not about surrendering to nothingness, it's about becoming something else. Often described as primal, playful, and instinct driven, free from the pressures of human roles. So, common features of pet space, reduced verbal ability, pets may struggle to speak in full sentences, defaulting to barks, meows, or simple words. Heightened sensory awareness to sounds, smells, textures, and touch feel sharper and more meaningful. Playfulness, brattiness, or obedience. Depending on the pet, the energy may range from mischievous and stubborn to calm and compliant. Craving for approval, contact, rhythm. Pets often may look to handlers for cues, seeking strokes, praise or routines to anchor them. Feeling protected, prized or poised. Many describe a deeper sense of safety, belonging, and identity while in pet space. So some triggers in pet space, again it varies from person to person. The act of putting on ears, a collar, or a tail is a transition. Many say ears first, tail last. And of course, commands in a certain tone. A firm sit or a gentle good pup can pull someone instantly into their role. Physical contact, head pats, scratches behind the ears, a guiding hand on the back of the neck. Oh my god. All of those, yes, please. I will become instantly submissive. You give me head pats, you touch the back of my neck, you guide me. Oh my god, yes. Like you scratch me, oh my god, yes, just yes. You've got sound cues, so the jingle of a leash, the snap of a quick the snap of a clicker, or a bell ringing. So now you've got rituals of the role. Grooming, feeding, and care. So with the grooming, you've got brushing hair or fur, cleaning pores or a face with a cloth. Triming nails, sensual or disciplinary grooming, so like grooming as teasing touch or a as discipline. Restrained brushing that emphasizes control. So when it comes to feeding, you can have pet bowls, kneeling meals, so eaten on the floor or from a dish can deepen the sense of animal embodiment. Of course, you've got food restrictions for training. So with negotiation and care, again we talk about this. Feeding schedules or treat denial can be used as obedience practice. And then we've got bedtime, so crate rest, consensual confinement, a pet might nap or rest in a crate, evoking protection as much as containment. Napping in a handler's lap, the simple intimacy of falling asleep while being stroked or held. Snuggling with toys or blankets. Comfort objects reinforce safety and belonging. Training and discipline, obedience, bratiness and games. So why train? Reinforce roles and rituals. Well, training creates repetition, and repetition makes the role stick. Over time, a pet doesn't just act like a creature, they feel like one. It deepens trust through structure. A pet knows what to expect, and a handler shows consistency. Structure is a form of safety. Predictability allows surrender. Building excitement, challenge and meaning. Training adds novelty and goals. It's playful but also progressive. Pets thrive on being challenged, and handlers thrive on guiding them through the challenge. Common training elements. Basic commands like sit, stay, heal, beg, simple drills that root the pet into their role. You've got obstacle courses, crawling through tunnels, jumping hoops, weaving cones, playful playfulness. You've got fetch, scent tracking, hunting games. Pets may fetch toys, follow a scent trail, or hunt with handler guidance, submission drills, kneeling on command, presenting body, maintaining silence, reinforcing obedience and focus. With discipline, you've got many different styles. So you've got timeouts, you've got the silent treatment, you've got denial of toys or affection, physical correction, a tug of the leash, a firm spank, or a controlled grip. Always though pre-negotiate all of these. So we've got different roles for handlers. The handler, practical, caring, calm, focuses on scene management and safe guidance. The trainer is usually stricter, often focused on drills, performative and structured discipline, more performance-based, sometimes even competitive. You've got the owner, who is more possessive, emotionally invested. The bond is long-term and deeply personal. The role blurs sometimes BDSM ownership with pet devotion. Again, you can be these roles, but you don't need to follow these guidelines. So traits of a good handler use a clear tone and consistency. Pets really do flourish when commands are firm, unambiguous and steady. Patience, of course. It's especially important with pets who are neurodivergent or non-verbal. Training can be playful and slow paced. Affection without infantilization. Care is intimate, but it respects the adult within the role. Authority rooted in care, not ego. A handler leads not because they crave control, but because they offer safety and structure. So, in the inner world of pet play, shame and exposure, the emotional edge of pet play. Not all pet play is soft, some pets crave humiliation, exposure, being seen in their creature form, raw and real. So, the shame curve. Internalized embarrassment. Many pets, especially those raised with rigid norms about sex and proprietary, feel deep shame about wanting to crawl, bark, or be led. Pet play gives them a container to let the shame breathe. Within a negotiated scene, a handler can rescript shame as intimacy. I see you, I accept you, just like all BDSM. We can reshape it. This can be kaphic, an old wound held up and then soothed. Being seen as needy, obedient, dirty, the humiliation of being on all fours, drooling, begging, is not something to avoid but to eroticize. Well, why does it work? Well, the handler is like a mirror. The message becomes I see your filth and I still love you or I still want to play with you or I accept you. Erotic degradation as acceptance. So now let's talk about one of the most powerful truths in kink. Pet play can heal just like any other kinks out there. For the pet, healing childhood neglect by receiving gentle care, so like warm, feeding, grooming, can meet old unmet needs. It can help with processing PTSD through controlled regression. Structured play lets survivors safely go small or go instinctual on their own terms. It can help soothe anxiety by entering structured obedience with rules and routine. It can help quiet anxious minds, rebuilding boundaries through animal metaphor. Learning to growl, hiss, or signal discomfort can retrain as survivors know reflex. Even for handlers, healing emotional detachment by offering consistent love. Some handlers practice patience and presence they never learned elsewhere, reclaiming control not as cruelty but as nurture. They rewrite their own relationship to power, developing patience, presence, and intuitive leadership. Pet play as a skill building ground for real-world empathy. When a pet lays their head in your lap and breathes easy, sometimes that's the first time either of you have felt safe. Nonverbal connection, communication without language. One of the most transformative aspects of pet play is how quiet it is. So, with every kink and most BDSM episodes, I like to talk about the red flags. So there will always be red flags in the community. You need to weave your way through them. There are bad people. And so some red flags in pet play are the handler punishes without clear reason. Pets feel abandoned or punished outside the creed upon play. If there's no aftercare or drop support, emotional manipulation disguised as training. All that is red flags. Avoid that. If any of that happens, you can tell them about it and move on. Or you can tell them about it, try again, and if it happens again, you move on. You know, it's up to you at the end of the day, but a red flag is always a red flag. Always, always communicate. Pet play is not just obedience, not just a bark, not just a scene. It's a form of devotion, of receiving care in the form of rules, or giving love in the form of attention. Some pets wag, some crawl, some run, some pear, but all of them, when they find the right handler, love hard. Pet play isn't a game, it's not just a kink, it's connection, devotion, structure and surrender. You become a pet not to lose yourself, but to find the self the world told you to hide. And if someone leases you with love, praise, care, and command, that leash isn't restraint, it's freedom through trust. So whether you crawl or gallop, purr or bark, obey or bite, you are not too much. You are someone's dream animal, and you deserve to be kept. This has been Behind the Paddle Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. And I really hope you guys enjoyed this episode. And I'll see you next time. Please leave a like and follow us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening. And if you do want any other topics, please give us a message and I'm sure we can sort that out. But that's it for us.