SPEAKER_00 0:57

Hello and welcome back to Behind the Batter Podcast from MePaults and Victoria. Today we are going to be carry on with reading How to Be You by Ellie Middleton. Chapter 8 Organization Like with planning, I feel as though I go from one extreme to another in terms of organization. The autistic side of my brain loves nothing more than counting things out, colour coding and labelling, reorganizing my wardrobe and spending hours or even days creating a complicated notion board that quote is definitely going to be the answer to getting my shit together once and for all. Unfortunately, however, there is another side of me that couldn't be more different. My ADHD. This side of me is messy, disorganized, usually running late, and trying to juggle a million things all at once in something that resembles somewhat of a hurricane or tornado. I think organization out of all the executive functions is something that we as a society have assigned a huge amount of moral value to. Being organized makes you a good person, someone who is thoughtful, professional, grown up, and going to go far in life. If organization is something that doesn't come naturally to you, though often these struggles or differences will very quickly be labelled as personal flaws. You're lazy, you're selfish, you're careless, and you can't be trusted. There is nothing careless about a neurodivergent person's struggles with organization, though, in fact, we often care greatly about the things that we do. It's simply that our brains aren't designed to do things in the way that our neuronormative capitalist society expects us to. In this chapter we will explore what is organization, which systems have affected the way we think about organization, how we can support ourselves with organization, five things to consider putting in place for your task organization. As long as things feel organized or helpful to you, then it doesn't matter what they look like to anybody else. There are no prizes for doing life in hard mode, and by letting go of some of the quote sounds we've had imposed on us, we can make life a whole lot easier for ourselves. What is organization? Our final executive functioning skill, organization, is defined as the ability to structure and arrange information, materials, or physical spaces. This could be organizing the things in our homes to be stored away tidily. It could be keeping our schedules organized in order to make sure we're always where we need to be, when we need to be there, or it could be organizing files on our computers so that we're able to find them when we need them. Organization is something that everybody struggles with from time to time, with research suggesting that the average person loses up to nine items every day, or 100,9843 in a lifetime, with phones, keys, sunglasses, and paperwork topping the list. However, neurodivergent folks might have an especially hard time staying organized for a variety of reasons, which we can explore by working through the diagnostic criteria for ADHD outlined in the DSM5 and figuring out what is really going on. Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work or other activities. The ability to pay attention to and keep track of small details is essential when staying organized, whereas ADHDers and other neurodivergent people generally tend to think in more of a big picture way, often has trouble organizing tasks and activities. We can struggle to organize tasks and activities which could also be linked to our struggles with planning and prioritization. More on this in chapter 6, planning and prioritization, page 236, and working memory. More on this in chapter 1, working memory, page 57. Tasks, projects and activities generally have lots of different moving parts, which can be tricky for our brains to keep track of all at once, or prioritize in order of importance, often loses things necessarily for tasks and activities, e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones. A big part of organization is thinking ahead to what we will need to get something done. For example, remembering that we need to take our gym kit to work with us so we can go to the gym after work and storing these things in a way that means we're able to find them when we need them. As we explored in tip 3, showroom cheek. ADHD is can have differences in what is known as object consistency or object permanence. This means that we experience out-of-sight out of mind. So if something isn't in our direct line of sight, we forget it exists. This makes it very hard to keep track of where all our things are at any given time, making it difficult to stay organized. Is often easily distracted. As we discovered in chapter 7, task initiation, page 267, ADHD brains and those of other neurodivergent people are often interest-led, meaning that we aren't motivated to do things just because we know that we should or because we know that they are important in the same ways as neurotypical people might be. Typically, organizational tasks aren't the most stimulating, novel, or interesting, so it's tricky for our brains to stay focused on these things. Is often forgetful in daily activities. Working memory, more on this in chapter 1, working memory, page 57, is another of the executive functioning skills that are impacted in neurodivergent people. And so it's very easy for us to lose track of all the different things we need to do and remember each day. These differences in memory can mean that staying organized becomes much more tricky because we might forget what we need to organize in the first place. Is often on the go, acting as if driven by a motor. When you have a brain that feels as though it's whirling at a million miles per hour. Thinking about a hundred things at once at any given time, it can be tricky to sit still long enough to organize those thoughts in any meaningful way, let alone organise the things around you or things you need to do. Additionally, organization also requires us to have good time management skills, which is something that neurodivergent people can experience differences in. As mentioned in chapter 5, flexibility, page 202. ADHDers can experience something known as time blindness, which is defined as their inability to sense the passing of time and can show up in things like losing track of time and underestimating or overestimating how much time has passed, how long a task will take, or how much time is left before an anticipated event. We tend to see time as now or not now, and so organizing ourselves for future events or situations is difficult for us to conceptualize. Similarly, many other neurodivergent people can experience time in different ways. For example, studies have shown that people with schizophrenia have an internal clock that speeds up, slows down, and doesn't necessarily run at a constant speed. And people with bipolar or other mood disorders might notice a shift in how they experience time during manic episodes. Which systems have affected the way we think about organization? As with all the executive functioning skills that we have explored throughout the book, late-stage capitalism means that we place a disproportionate amount of value on someone's ability to stay organized. In a capitalist society, when we are working busy office jobs, perhaps struggling multiple jobs around childcare, housework, hobbies, and socializing, there are lots of things to organize, structure, prepare for, and keep track of at any given time. If productivity and money making weren't such major priorities, we would not have so many documents to organize, projects to plan for, and tasks to keep on top of. Additionally, when consumerism is rife, we have more possessions in our homes, which means more and more things to organize and arrange. Research has shown that one in 11 American households rent a self-storage space which costs them over 1,000 a year in rent, and that home storage products became a $4.36 billion industry. However, if we were to reduce the amount of stuff that we owned, we would have fewer things to organize, meaning there would be much less strain on our executive functioning skill to organisation. Further research has suggested that getting rid of clutter eliminates 40% of housework in the average home. Add to this the fact that impulsive ADHDers, in particular, will be much more prone to buying things on a whim or being perceptible to marketing techniques and we can see how we might suddenly have a whole excess of things to keep track of. How can we support ourselves with organization? I think that our ability to stay organized comes down to three main things which are consistent with the themes that we have explored throughout the rest of the book. The first of these is letting go of the way that we've been told we should organize things. If having things out on display, more on this in tip 3 showroom check, page 81, works better for you than having things put away in boxes, that's fine. Your thoughts visually or in a written format rather than keeping it all floating around in your head, that's okay too. If it makes more sense to organize your home by keeping different things in different rooms than would be expected, you guessed it, that's not a problem. As long as things feel organized or helpful to you, then it doesn't matter what they look like to anybody else. Second, I think it's important to remember that it's okay for us to support ourselves by relying on help from the people or tools around us, whether that's needing a friend or family member to remind you about something, relying on a cleaner to help keep your home organized, or setting reminders about the things you need to stay on top of. You don't have to organize and manage every single thing by yourself all the time. The people, tools, and services around you are there to help. So don't feel like you're failing by using them. Finally, I think the last main way that we can support ourselves with organization is not to be afraid to make things as easy as possible for ourselves. It is much easier to stay organized if you have fewer things to organize. More on this in tip 39, keep it simple, page 327. And if you need to do things like colour, coding, labelling, or keeping different boxes around your house to stay organized, there is no moral failing in that. There are no prizes for doing life in hard mode, and by letting go of some of the shoulds we've had imposed on us, we can then make life a whole lot easier for ourselves. A list of things that are absolutely fine. Setting things up in a way that works for you, even if that isn't what you've previously been told is the right or best way. Relying on support from the people around you or automation to stay organized. Organizing things in a non-traditional way, if that way makes more sense to you. Not having your home or space 100% organized 100% of the time. Organizing and sharing information in a non-traditional way. If that way makes more sense to you, for example, not having to always tell a story in a linear way. Relying on reminders and visual cues to keep yourself organized. Cutting down on things on the things you have, buy or commit to in order to have fewer things to keep on top of. Having to keep multiple different things in multiple places because you struggle with organizing yourself to remember them all the time. For example, keeping a spare phone charger in your car and at work so you don't have to remember to take one with you every day. Asking for all communication to come via a certain channel, e.g., only by email instead of email, WhatsApp, Slack, and verbally. So that you don't have to keep on top of multiple sources of information. Tip 36. Homely hacks by Sherry Smith, she her, better known as Forever Yours Betty, ADHD content creator. We all know how important our surroundings are, especially when we are trying to navigate a world with AD AUDHD. In a life full of ju juxtapositions and extremes, it can be a challenge to create an organized space that works with your brain, but also brings joy. The true secret to creating a happy AUDHD home is knowing yourself, embracing your quirks, and not justifying your space for anyone but you. 1. Get to know yourself. First things first, you need to understand what makes you tick. One size does not fit all, so take some time to look at the parts of your life that you struggle with, and those that bring you calm. Things like your existing habitats, attention span, and the stuff that helps or hinders your mood are important when creating a space that works for you. For example, it's a common ADHD tip to suggest always having everything on show due to our object permanence. More on this in tip 3, showroom check, page 81. But that isn't helpful for everyone. I find the kitchen to be the most overwhelming room in the house, and I thought having everything on show would lead to less waste and more cooking. However, I quickly realized that this was not for me. There were too many options leading to decision paralysis. This is a stark contrast to my open plan wardrobe, which gives me so much joy when I can see it all in front of me. I find the kitchen overwhelming, so seeing everything at once feels too much. Whereas I find my wardrobe exciting. So seeing all my clothes at once is inspiring and a celebration to my eyes. It's all about bridging the gap of your needs. 2. Spot the hurdles. Identifying your weak spots is like finding a map to navigate your home better. Maybe clutter is your kryptonite, or lighting can throw you completely off track. Take note, then take action. I struggle with clutter, but organizational piles have always been my friend. Solution. Everything that comes into my house needs to have a home. But since putting things back in their proper place isn't always feasible, I've designed a pile space where things go while they are waiting to be put back in their home. This looks different in every room. A bucket in my wardrobe room for clothes that aren't dirty but need to be put away. Some sticky hooks in the bedroom for hanging up clothes and towels instead of putting them on the floor. And a basket of miscellaneous bits in the bathroom. 3. Setting up for success. Now that you've Got the lowdown on your needs, it's time to make your home a happier place for you to exist. Here are some tips I've gathered along the way that seem to work for most. Clutter control. Differentiate what you define as clutter. As a collector, I love seeing my favorite things around, but unwanted clutter is stressful. Have a storage solution in each room that can be used as a deliberate dumping ground to be organized at the end of the week. Insert this into your routine. Colourful cues. Don't be scared of using colour. Whether it's on your walls or creating a big bright calendar or colour-coded label. What would you do if you felt no one was judging you? Relentless reminders. I have a notepad next to my coffee machine for shopping lists. One next to my couch. And a bed for brain dumping. And post-it lists of what's in my kitchen cupboards. 4. Celebrate yourself. You are not your challengers. If there's one thing about us, it's that we like what we like. Most of us have spent a large amount of our lives diminishing the things that bring us joy. Whether it was because people found it too much or weird or childish. This is your chance to embrace all of it. Dedicate spaces for your hyperfocus. Don't hide what makes you happy. It's your space. When I explained to the builder that I wanted 27 kitchen cupboards made because I'd made 27 various piles of what made sense in my head, I did so with my chest. For me, it makes most sense to have a place for breakfast food, food I can make in less than 20 minutes, and snacks rather than separating them into dry or canned goods. This way, when I recognize the need, I have a cupboard that will help assist that need in a space I find joy, full. Joyful. 5. Tweak as you go. Your home is a living, breathing space that grows with you. Be open to change and know what works today might need a little tweak tomorrow. Keep an eye on how you're feeling, and if something's not quite right, switch it up. You are bound to make some mistakes along the way. I know I have. But knowing what you don't want only means that you are one step closer to finding out what does work. Turning your home into an ADHD and autism-friendly haven is all about celebrating you. With some self-love, homie hacks, and a dollop of your individuality, you can create a space where you feel not just at home, but in your element. So go ahead, dive in, and let your home be the comforting cocoon you deserve. Tip 37. Automate and delegate. As we explored in chapter 1, Working Memory, page 57, our neurodivergent brains can struggle with juggling all the different bits and bobs that we are expected to. There are so many different things to remember and so many plates to spin at any given time that it's impossible for us to keep them all on track and keep organized ourselves. One way that we can stay organized while relieving some of the pressure that we're under is by working out which things we can automate and which things we can delegate. Automate. If there are tasks that we need to do or things that we need to remember on a recurring or regular basis, there are different ways that we can automate these reminders so that it's one less thing to think about. I use a shaving subscription service so that I automatically get sent new razor blades every couple of months. Not only is this more sustainable, but it's just one less thing for me to have to consider. You can use a similar subscription service for things like Deodrant and Toiletries, and Amazon even has a subscribe and save option for a lot of groceries and toiletries. If you know you're going to need to buy a new shower gel every month, why not automate the process so you never have to think about it? I automate task reminders in my Google Calendar app on my phone to remind me to order my repeat prescription and transfer my rent to my landlord every month. This means that I can just act when the reminder pops up rather than spending the whole month thinking. I must remember to order my prescription before my tablets run out. You can automate regular payments and transfers by setting them up as standing orders, direct debits, or regular payments. Instead of having to manually transfer my rent every time I get the Google Calendar reminder, I could eliminate my need to do anything completely by setting this up as an automatic standing order payment that goes out on the same day each month. You can use a home assistant like Alexa, Google, or Surrey to automate reminders. When something pops into your head, for example, you order your repeat prescription after being notified by your automated reminder, you could say, Hey Google, remind me to pick up my prescription from the pharmacy in three days' time. If you're wanting to save money for a certain something, you can automate your savings by using a tool like Plum, Monzo, or Chase that automatically transfers money to a savings or investment account depending on certain rules you set. As an example, I use Plum and it automatically moves money over into my investment account every week. There are all sorts of rules you can set up, such as rounding up the change from any money you spent, judging how much you are spending that week, and calculating how much you can afford to invest, and even transferring a certain amount every time it rains in your area. A sure way to invest plenty if you're living in rainy Manchester like me. If one of the areas you need more support with is in shopping, cooking for and feeding yourself, you could automate this by using a meal subscription service like HelloFresh, Gusto, Mindful Chef, or any of the many other services out there. This could range from the delivery of ingredients and recipes being automated for you all the way through to some meal prep services that will deliver ready cooked meals to your door to take the entire process off your plate. Delegate. If there are other tasks that we aren't able to automate, but that don't specifically need our input and we know could be taken off our plate, we could delegate these tasks to somebody else, whether that be a service we pay for, or a parent or carer, support worker, colleague, virtual assistant or friend. Obviously, this depends on the support you have access to, the people you have available around you, and your financial situation. And I know that I am in an incredibly privileged position to have access to as much support as I do. However, often there are things that all of us could take off our plate that we just never have before. Never have, because we've been told we have to be completely independent to be considered fully functioning adults. When my LinkedIn account first started to really grow, I was still in full-time employment and so did not have the capacity to respond to all the messages and comments I was receiving every day. However, I knew that doing so would both be helpful to the people in the community I was building and helpful to grow my account even more in the long run. To help with this, I wrote a document of standardized standardized answers and replies to most common questions and comments I received and then delegated the task of replying to my personal assistant, Luke, who helps me keep on top of various admin tasks and saves my life every day. If you struggle to keep on top of all your housework, don't we all, and your budget permits, you could hire a cleaner to come to your house every couple of weeks or use a laundry service to pick up your dirty laundry and drop it off a few days later, ready to go. A very simple and free example of delegation could be delegating the task of deciding what's for dinner each night to your partner, friend or housemate. Maybe the endless options send you into the pits of decision freeze and end up overwhelming you to the point that you don't eat anything at all. However, if someone else were to write a list of meals for the week, you might find it easier to just complete the instruction of preparing each meal on the day it was needed. My brother, who you heard from earlier in tip 18, sampling sobriety, page 191, can struggle to keep on top of the admin involved with ordering and collecting his prescriptions each month. Since he lives at home with my parents, he has delegated this responsibility to my mum, who orders and collects the prescription each month without him having to remember. It can feel uncomfortable to rely on our parents or partners to help us with things like this. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with having support needs and allowing the people who love us to support us with them. It could be a two-minute job for them which saves you endless hours of brain space and avoids crisis if you don't manage to keep on top of it. Essentially, what we're trying to do here is identify the things that need to be done for our lives to stay in good working order, but don't need to be done by us specifically. By automating and delegating these tasks and responsibilities, we're freeing up some brain space for the things that require our full attention while making sure that we stay organized and on top of things. A win-win. Now it says tasks I could automate. Bullet point, bullet point, bullet point. Tasks I could delegate. Tip 38. Time blocking and monotasking. It's difficult to stay organized when you have a brain that loves to jump forwards and backwards between hundreds of different tasks at a time. We often feel as though we need to be multitasking and juggling lots of things all at once in order to feel or seem busy, because we've been told that busy equals productive. In reality though, this is far from the truth. Why do we think that running around like a headless chicken is the best way to be productive? When, if we think back to the times that we've achieved our best or most meaningful work, I would guess that for most of us, that would be during a time of focused, undistracted work. As an example, my best days of writing both this book and my first Unmasked have always been when I've been on an aeroplane. This is because there was nothing to distract me from the one singular task that I needed to get on with. I had no phone signal, no emails, and no notifications to be distracted by. By contrast, if I try to write between meetings or when I have hundreds of email or WhatsApp notifications bothering me, it's unlikely that I'll get much done. One way that we can work around this is by time blocking our tasks together and then monotasking, a fancy way of saying doing one thing at a time. When you are writing your to-do list or doing your big brain dump that we learn about, that we learned about in tip 26, page 251, you first want to get all the tasks out your head and onto paper. Once you have done this, you can group together similar tasks and block out chunks of time to complete these similar tasks together. For example, if you have a whole bunch of admin quick ticks that you need to get through, you can block out a two-hour chunk in the morning to whiz through them. That way, you're able to get through all these quicker tasks that don't require deep concentration or focus at once, rather than trying to jump between deep work and quick ticks, which might leave you feeling frantic and all over the place. Instead of your day looking like 10 minutes of writing, quickly replying to that email I needed to get back to, work on the content concept that I needed to send over to the brand I'm working with, another 10 minutes of writing, reply to Instagram comments, jump on the Zoom call for a virtual meeting, another 10 minutes of writing, get distracted by another email that comes through, etc. etc. You can whiz through the emails, comments, and other admin quick ticks in a two-hour chunk in the morning, for example, leaving the afternoon freed up for you to really get stuck into the writing you need to do. Below, try to make a list of quick ticks that you could group together versus deep work that would be best monotasked. So here you have a sheet which just says quick ticks and the other says deep work, and you make a list of each. Tip 39, keep it simple. This tip is another one that seems incredibly simple but can really make a big difference to the way that you're able to stay organized. It seems painfully obvious to say out loud or type out, but it took me a surprisingly long time to work out, a surprisingly long time to work out. So I'm sharing it in the hopes that it will help you too. It is much easier to stay organized if you have fewer things to organize. That's it. That's the tip. It is much easier to keep on top of your laundry and have all your clothes neatly stored away if you have fewer clothes to wash, dry, iron, fold, and put away. It is much easier to keep track of where things are in your space if you have fewer things to keep track of and fewer drunk drawers slash boxes where you store all those random I might need it one day, cables, trinkets, instruction manuals and boxes. It is much easier to plan your schedule if you have fewer things to squeeze into it. It is also much easier to actually do all the things you need to get done if you have fewer things to get through. Essentially, a minimalistic lifestyle is much easier to keep on top of. If you have fewer things to lose, it's much less likely that you're going to lose them. If you have fewer things to remember, it's less likely that you'll forget them. If you have fewer things to keep track of, it's much more likely that you'll be able to keep track of them. The fewer things you have to organize, the more organized you're likely to be. So why not try clearing things out by selling your clothes on vintage or depop, always price depending on the quality of the item so that you've got more chance of selling. Selling things at a car boot sale. If you want to get rid, price things very cheaply. Donating things to a charity shop, make sure to check what they will accept before you take them. Taking anything that can't be donated to your local recycling point. Tip 40, calendar comforts. In the same way that I recommended automating reminders in your calendar in tip 37, automate and delegate to page 318, I'm going to take that one step further and recommend that you keep track of everything in a calendar. And I mean everything. I personally a fan of a digital calendar and use Google Calendar as my go-to, as I like to be able to move things around as and when they change, and know that I'll always have it with me thanks to my handy iPhone app. However, if you're more of a paper person, you can use an old school diary too. The most important thing is that every single thing gets scheduled into that calendar. So often we think, oh, I remember that. Or assume that if something isn't a meeting or appointment, it doesn't need to go in our calendar. But that leaves us a prone to forgetting things and b prone to overcommitting to things we don't actually have to have the capacity for because we don't realise how much stuff we actually need to squeeze into our days. The only way that we're able, the only way that I'm able to stay organized in any sense is by completely and utterly living and dying by Google Calendar. If something needs to happen, it needs to be scheduled into the calendar. That includes all the usual appointments and meetings that you'd expect to find. But also, time blocked out for the work that I need to do that doesn't involve anybody else. Whether that's the quick tick time blocks that we spoke about in tip 38, time blocking and monotasking, page 324, or a big chunk of time for must write book. One evening a week blocked out for housework, laundry, and tidying. A 15-minute slot scheduled in to remind me to post any social media content that needs to go out. Chunks of time blocked out for my non negotiables. More on this in tip 29 Prioritizing for You. Page 258. Like reading, going for a walk, or going to the gym. And even sometimes planning out when I'll have showers. Any travelling time blocked out, whether that's my drive to the studio, the time it will take me to get into town before an appointment, or train tickets and timings when I'm heading to London for work. If something needs to happen, it needs to be in the Google Calendar, otherwise it isn't happening. A small disclaimer that I absolutely am not perfect at this, and most definitely go through phases of being more and less disciplined with how much I'm scheduling in, but that life is always easier the more that goes into my calendar. This not only helps me stay organized and have everything that I need to remember all in one place, and in a place that happens to send me handy notifications 10 minutes before the things needs to happen. But it also helps me to see my actual capacity and so be more likely not to take too much on. In the past, I might have seen that I didn't have any meetings or appointments in my calendar for a certain day, and assumed that meant I was free to make plans or say yes to extra work, when in reality, I needed to write, create content, eat, go to the gym, shower, and catch up on my laundry. This can be a little bit tricky to balance with demand avoidance. More on this in tip A: Avoiding Demand Avoidance, page 123. But if you're using a digital calendar, you can always move the blocks around once they're scheduled in. What matters is that they're in there in the first place rather than floating around in your mind hoping that they'll be remembered. Organization Recap. Our final executive functioning skill, organization, is defined as the ability to structure and arrange information, materials, or physical spaces. It especially describes our ability to keep on top of everything and have it structured in a way that works for us. As my mum loves to remind me, quote, there should be a place for everything and everything should have its place. Organization is the skill that allows us to feel as though everything is under control, and we know what is happening when, where to find the things that we need, and that there is an order to things we are doing and our belongings. In this chapter we have explored what organization is, the systems which have affected the way we think about organization, some ways we can support ourselves with organization, five things to consider putting in place for your organization. Your takeaway box. There is not one correct way of being organized. To be organized is to have things arranged and structured in the way that works for you. Don't be afraid to do things a little differently in order to suit your brain. Or our organizational capacities are more stretched than we've ever been before, since we tend to have so many more positions to keep track of in our consumerist society, and so many more tasks, appointments, demands on our time in a world that can feel like a capitalist rat race. If we reduce the amount of things we have in our homes, it will be easier to organize the things we do have. And if we can say yes to fewer things in our diary, then it will be much easier to organize our time. Less is more. When it comes to things that when it comes to the things you can't get rid of completely, it might be helpful to rely on automation and delegation to support you in staying organized. If it is not completely necessary for something to be done specifically by you, then think about whether you can handle can hand it off to another person or automate it with technology. Now that is the second to last chapter of How to Be You by Ellie Middleton. I hope you have enjoyed listening. This has been behind the bad podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. And I shall see you next time.

unknown 52:13

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Oh, and don't forget to follow and review and everything. Yep. Bye.