Behind the Paddle
Welcome to "Behind the Paddle", the podcast that explores the fascinating world of sex across a wide spectrum of topics; from LGBTQ+ and feminine power, to kink, sex work and the adult industry. We aim to inform, inspire and entertain, featuring expert interviews, compelling stories, and thought provoking discussions.
Join Porcelain Victoria (a very experienced Pro-Dominatrix of 9yrs) on a funny and wonderfully truthful look at the world through the lens of a BDSM practitioner working in the sex industry.
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Behind the Paddle
E138: 18 months in Chasity with my sub part 1
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Locked Up in the Doll House: 1.5 Years in Chastity
What’s it really like to have your manhood under someone else’s control?
In this episode, I sit down with one of my devoted subs, who has been part of my Doll House for over 1.5 years. And the entire time, he’s been locked in chastity… yes, that part of him has been kept under lock and key.
We dive into his experience, what it’s like to surrender that level of control, and how he really feels about handing over the keys to his manhood.
Does he love it? Does he miss his freedom? Or has he learned that his manhood belongs exactly where I decide?
Tune in to hear his side of the story and discover what life is really like when Mistress holds the key.
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Thank you so much for listening 💖
Today we will be talking to one of my subs who has been locked in chastity for how long?
SPEAKER_03Best part of 18 months now.
SPEAKER_01Yup. So this episode is going to be released in October, which for kinky folk is usually called Locktober. So that's when doesn't matter what gender you are, you can still lock it up in some way. And yeah, you lock up the vagina or the penis or whatever. So my sub has been in chastity for about 18 months. So when locked over comes around, everyone starts talking usually about like surviving 31 days because that's usually like the challenge people give themselves. And well, we we've got a bit of a slightly different perspective. For you, it's not really 31 days, it's been 18 months.
unknownYep.
SPEAKER_01Um, so I want to know what 18 months of giving up that control, not being able to touch your penis, has actually done to you, whether you regret agreeing to it, what you've learned about submission, and most importantly, whether October even means anything when October is just another month flocked for you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um to begin.
SPEAKER_01Uh well, take me back to the beginning before any of this became like normal essentially for us. What did chastity mean to you?
SPEAKER_03Chastity to me was the build-up before it. If that kind of makes sense. So usually what I would have done would I'd put a cage on and then deny myself for a while. Then I'd watch porn.
SPEAKER_01Deny yourself what exactly?
SPEAKER_03Touching myself.
SPEAKER_01Like you're squirming. So was it something you'd fantasized about for a long time? Or was this like something you wanted to just do out of the blue?
SPEAKER_03I'd fantasized about it. See, I get enjoyment. What have my enjoyment of chastity is like the woman comes first, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You know, I you've happily coined me pleaser, so I like to see other people enjoy themselves first before I get my release.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03So
SPEAKER_01What appealed to you the most? The restriction, the surrender in control, pleasing me, or the challenge of how long you can be locked for?
SPEAKER_03Pleasing you. Can you ever sit in that?
SPEAKER_01So did you think this would ever become a long-term arrangement?
SPEAKER_03No, I thought I thought it would be like before sessions, like maybe a week or so before, I would go into it. And then that that was like like a week before a session, I would go into it, and then after the session I would come out of it. But then when we tried October, we've just run it.
SPEAKER_01How long did you think you would last?
SPEAKER_03Not this long, but have it.
SPEAKER_01And did you have any idea fully what you were agreeing to?
SPEAKER_03To some extent, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But you just didn't realise what emotions it would bring and just the connection and stuff. What was there a moment you realised that you wanted to do it long term? Or did you just did it creep up over time that yeah, it suits you to do this long term?
SPEAKER_03I think it suits me to the long term. I enjoy it, as as I've said before to you, um I'm treating this like a kind of collar.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03So it's but it bounds me to you, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01Fair. I understand that, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And it it's a it's a good thing as well, because you hold the key.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You know, you've got other than my cleaning key, then not not that I would necessarily cheat around that, because I d I'm not for that. But again, it it's solely only you can do what you want it.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, because we can bring this back to somebody who we both know who we do think cheated. Yes, because we know somebody who we think cheated. Yeah. Um basically he wanted to try chastity. And what was it? I was taking a chance on a potential lifestyle sub. You realized, I didn't quite realize that he said he was locked, but when he gave me his keys, he gave me the keys with the lock in the key. And I didn't realize until my own sub told me this, and I was like, oh my god, you are so correct. But the guy played it off like he had been locked for like three days at least, and then he needed unlocking um because he had arrangements that he wanted to dive into without being caged. And that's yep, some so some people do cheat. Some people like to have the illusion.
SPEAKER_03Do you like to tell them how we noticed that?
SPEAKER_01Well, because I posted it.
SPEAKER_03No. When uh so cages generally come with one lock.
SPEAKER_01Oh yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03So we've went through a moving through a couple.
SPEAKER_01Well they come with usually two locks, right? No, just one. Just one. I don't really wear them that much. I just supplied them.
SPEAKER_03One lock, two keys.
SPEAKER_01I have too many keys. They're all in that jar. I've got way too many keys. Um I don't need to buy any more chassis cages. I mean, you you get your ones, but I don't necessarily uh keep track of like each and every individual. I've just got too many. Um, because I've had so many over the years, and men have like locked themselves and given me the key, and I've just never returned them.
SPEAKER_03Still locked to this day.
SPEAKER_01But yes, you can get keys on like Alibaba and things. It'll take like a week or whatnot to arrive, but you can get multiple keys. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You get nine sitting there now. Cages. Nine cages on that watch.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, yeah, there's many. I like to have cutesy cages. There's a few places you can go and get good cages. Um, I mean, we've used House of Denial a while, but they keep failing us, basically.
SPEAKER_03Um I'm just too big for them.
SPEAKER_01Not so what is the one? It's called like Cravus or something.
SPEAKER_03Cravus, cravus eyes, I think. Craver eyes.
SPEAKER_01Something like that. But they do look really cool and cutesy um cages. I really, really like them. What has become surprisingly normal for you?
SPEAKER_03I don't know to be honest.
SPEAKER_01Um I would say me sending you the word check.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you've just been like, yep. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Any cave, any place, anywhere.
SPEAKER_01So what I do with my submissives is that if they are in chastity, I will send them a message every now and again saying check, and within a minute they need to reply back, showing that they do still have their cage on, and that they haven't, you know, taken off or anything like that, because it it's a good indicator to see if anybody is actually still wearing their cage or if they're lying about it. Um, it's something which I didn't do with that previous submissive that we were on about, because we just didn't really get that connection to start with, and I don't really want to force anything. But also, I think more he just wanted to try it, not full on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You I don't think he was ready for that in the first place.
SPEAKER_03It's a commitment, that's a very big commitment.
SPEAKER_01Is there anything that you find difficult being caged?
SPEAKER_03Mornings.
SPEAKER_01Mornings, yeah. Um, I can understand that to some extent, because you know I do not have a penis.
SPEAKER_03It doesn't help when you send photos, you know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what you're on about. There are no bounds, there's no rules where a mistress cannot tease their submissive. Just depends how. Um so yeah, mornings, okay. Yeah. Describe it.
SPEAKER_03It depends on the dream. Aye, it's uh it's it's caged for a reason. So sense is you don't get to touch it. Whether you wake up in the morning without it on and you have the option to relieve yourself, shall we say? I don't get that. I don't get that. So aye, it it's you still have movement in it, and it aye, uh it becomes challenging because yes, you still can get an erection, but it's severely restricted and yeah, it soon goes away.
SPEAKER_01What was there like a hard period mentally at some point while being caged?
SPEAKER_03Do you had sessions? All depends what we were doing. Um sometimes difficult, depends what I'm doing at work. Um I'll wait till he stops doing that. I work sometimes, it can be difficult, um just depending on what I'm doing. Um put it this way. Oh I don't use that I watch porn now because it's a waste of time.
SPEAKER_01So you're saying that you just watch porn just to ejaculate?
SPEAKER_03To start with a dead eye. No, I don't I could now I could probably sit and watch porn now and enjoy the scene a bit more, depending on what the porn is, obviously. Um but aye.
SPEAKER_01I mean to me that just sounds like every man needs to be in chastity. They should.
SPEAKER_03You should at least try it once after after the first month like after the first month then it's it gets easier.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Has there ever been a moment you thought, why did I give this woman so much power? Mm-hmm.
unknownMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Oh, do you explain?
SPEAKER_03The fish. So I the option I was coming I was coming here for a session, but you had the bright idea that you wanted a fish. Remember the trout?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Alright.
SPEAKER_01So it was around Christmas time. You can blame Bart for that.
SPEAKER_03It was a bart that wanted the fish.
unknownPrick.
SPEAKER_01I'm stuck him in it now, there you go.
SPEAKER_03Alright. I'm glad I stuck it. I was meeting you say I fad him. Um I was coming here for a session, you wanted the fish. I couldn't find it anywhere. And then I'm gonna say to myself, if if I don't find this fish, I'm not getting out of this cage today. So I hunt it high and low, and I got you said fish. And I still don't get out of the cage that day.
SPEAKER_00You said it was a cracking one. Well, I mean, we had a Christmas day.
SPEAKER_03The fact should be costing 70 quid. I could have caught one yeah, but no, that came back and got it. Bought a fucking thing.
SPEAKER_01What was it? It was like the day, yeah, it was the day before you were actually out fishing.
SPEAKER_03I caught one roughly about that size, too.
SPEAKER_01It's like like you tried so hard to get the what was it? Was it tuna? No, it was trout. It was trout, yeah, it was sea trout. And like that was the only one you could find, and it was fucking gigantic. It was that gigantic we defrosted it in the bath.
SPEAKER_03My calf stumped for fucking weeks. Weeks.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I mean, from this my side it was worth it. From your side was it worth it?
SPEAKER_03No. It wasn't.
SPEAKER_01I'll I'll ask Bart if he wants uh trout this year as well.
SPEAKER_03I knew that would have been nice. Do you do do you know that thing got it? I was telling the thought when she went through.
SPEAKER_00Oh it was a good uh good day that was. Very good day.
SPEAKER_01So you go back on topic. Who actually has control? You yeah.
SPEAKER_03Ramborate a bit more?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So you have the key that unlocks it to play with. I've got the cleaning key, but the cleaning key I have to ask you to use before I can take off. And uh and it's off briefly and then back straight back on.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Yeah. Does it make you feel more submissive having the cage on?
SPEAKER_03Definitely, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do you think it makes you more connected with me?
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01More disciplined.
SPEAKER_03We don't we know about brat.
SPEAKER_01Um has surrendering control become comforting?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because uh it's relaxing. You know, I can just focus like I can focus on what do what you want me to do. I can I I can go out with myself, I can I don't need to worry, if that makes any sense.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Is there anything that you have learned through chastity in the past 18 months?
SPEAKER_03I don't know if I should tell you or not.
SPEAKER_00Come on.
SPEAKER_03Yes, I have came in chastity.
SPEAKER_00Right, okay. Right.
SPEAKER_03So now I'm gonna get kicked absolutely shit out of.
SPEAKER_00Right, yeah. When? How?
SPEAKER_03So there's various types of cages.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Can't when I'm in. I haven't done it in.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03But one of the ones was a bit more uh how would we say skin? I I could touch skin.
SPEAKER_00Right. So talk more.
SPEAKER_03Fuck. And then eventually.
SPEAKER_01Oh like a little clip.
SPEAKER_03Right, basically. So I guess I have and when was this? Couple months back.
SPEAKER_01A couple months ago. And you didn't tell me.
SPEAKER_03No.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01That's fine. I mean, to be fair. No, no, no, no, no, no to be fares.
SPEAKER_03Do you remember the last time you got about my cage what you made me do it?
SPEAKER_01What'd I do? What'd I make you do? The dog bowl go ahead, spit it out.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01Fair shall swallow.
SPEAKER_03What? You you made me swallow it.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. That's fine. I don't see a problem with that. When we next have free time and I'm able to do yeah. We're doomed. Like that's great. You've just openly spoke about it. That's great. That's really good.
SPEAKER_03I'll be honest with you.
SPEAKER_01That's great. But you're fucked. There will be a part two at some point where you'll just hear things screams in the background. Podcasters, how to deal with a disobedient sub who uh yeah. Mm-hmm. Right.
SPEAKER_03Probably won't be on YouTube.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What is something you've learnt about yourself aside from being able to come in chastity?
SPEAKER_03Control.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03So to start with, you I think you probably agree with me on this. Like first couple of sessions we done. When I was in chassis when I came out of the chastity. Like I would come pretty quick.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Any other time of sessions, like sessions lately. Um I don't come till you allow me to.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03You know. But back then uh I would be how what's the word I could use?
SPEAKER_01Be gagging to come.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Quite literally, sometimes. With gagging mouth. Um But I even now like sessions like sessions now, being case, I the whole control of this is that you've got you you're in control of it. So even what now like if your session is now and you said come I could probably hide off and nut and still get the same enjoyment out of that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So you're not afraid.
SPEAKER_01You'll you'll meet your doom soon. Have you ever secretly hoped I'd forget about one of my rules? So like checking and no coming.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01Keeping you caged. Okay.
SPEAKER_03You've regards me out.
SPEAKER_01In what way? Being able to come.
SPEAKER_03No, in sizes.
SPEAKER_01Oh yes. What would happen if we ended chastity for whatever reason?
SPEAKER_03I probably should still practice it. Yeah, we'll I don't know if it would be the same.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's it's hard to be in words like. Oh like you have any key?
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
